Chet wordmark with orange bowtie Chet wordmark with orange bowtie

Red Tails 🍿

I’m drinking black coffee… and enjoying it! I barely recognize myself.

Mug of black coffee

U.S. Descends Into Third-World Hellscape Where Amazon Delivers In Three Days Instead Of Two - The Babylon Bee

“If I can’t order something I decided that I absolutely need to have on a whim and have it arrive in 1-2 days, then the American dream is dead.”

Late Clean Up

Two days behind. Oops.

Got to business and got done.

Now to rest, relax.

China Claims No New Deaths As Peasant Passes By Shouting ‘Bring Out Your Dead!’ - The Babylon Bee

China has once again claimed no new deaths by coronavirus today, drawing praise from the American media.

Wrong Kind of Red Light for Traffic Company - WSJ

with so few people on the road, the number of violations has dropped, affecting the company’s liquidity.

Good. I never liked the premise of photo-violations.

Perfect April Fools Day joke:

  • Delete your Twitter account.
  • Block Twitter on all of your devices and networks.
  • Never go back.

Epic!

Thirty Days

Seventeen all done,

At least thirty to go. Whew.

This is something else.

Trump: ‘Destroy This Economy And I Will Raise It Up In Three Days’ - The Babylon Bee

The stunning statement came as Trump began driving out the press from the White House Rose Garden, flipping over their folding chairs and throwing rocks at their cameras.

Bruce Wayne Suspected As Patient Zero In Gotham Coronavirus Outbreak - The Babylon Bee

An investigation revealed that Wayne is harboring thousands of bats under his mansion.

Stimulus Package Projected To Save The Lives Of At Least 85,000 Government Programs - The Babylon Bee

A grateful country full of very stimulated Americans is applauding the lifesaving efforts of Congress.

We believe that every government program’s life is infinitely precious and is made in the image of its lobbyist

Pelosi: ‘We Must Flatten The Curve Of Support For Donald Trump’ - The Babylon Bee

If we all do our part, we can stop Trump’s approval rating from spiking

Apple Acquires Weather App Dark Sky - MacRumors

The API will work through the end of 2021, but after that time, developers will need to find another solution.

RIP Dark Sky.

Fish tacos for lunch.

🌮

Not sure how replacing a roof is an “essential” business.

China’s Coronavirus Count Excluded Infected People With No Symptoms - WSJ

as questions arise about its accounting of the infectious disease

They’ve been dishonest from the start, so this is no surprise.

Streaming Subs

Added all the subs,

Canceled. Too much draw to them.

Enjoy what we have!

Americans Excitedly Anticipate Getting Paid With Their Own Money - The Babylon Bee

Sadly, by the time all the administration costs, government pet projects, and handouts were factored in, the stimulus each American was to receive became a negative amount, forcing Congress to raise taxes to pay for a new stimulus bill.

Taking some time to preen my internet presence.

Transferring domains over to Cloudflare Registrar and beginning to migrate from my old web host to Dreamhost.

A bottle of Almond Extract fell off my pantry shelf this weekend and broke on the floor. Now my pantry smells like delicious baked goods!

Hope Triumphs

No darkness can win,

Turmoil must always yield.

Hope springs eternal.

🌸

Ending my 14 day trial of Fantastical Premium.

Is it worth the $40/year? Absolutely not.

When you get into daily use, its many flaws come through. It needs a significant degree of refinement before it can command that price.

Casino Royale 🍿

In Safari on iPadOS 13.4, Apple changed “Open in New Tab” to “Open in Background.” Everyone who uses a browser understands tabs. Why the change?

Spring sunrise.

Sunrise in the trees