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The Babylon Bee:

In response to an increase in angry mobs combing the platform for old tweets to try to cause someone to lose their job, Twitter has introduced a timed auto-delete option for your tweets so a bad joke you make now won’t come back and haunt you, getting you fired in a decade or so.

I love when satire cuts to the heart. People on the internet are absolutely vicious. Timing the release of old tweet discoveries on perhaps the best day of someone’s career proves they’re not seeking justice or to right social ills; they’s just jerks.

Delete your Twitter account, or at the very least, delete all of your old tweets.

These mobs are crazy and with our rapidly changing cultural values, something you say today could get you fired sometime in 2019.

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