Your wife has used more than one-third of this money to pay off your joint mortgage. Inheritances are not considered community property, so she is clearly taking her time deciding what to do with it. While that may feel like a slap in the face after 35 years of marriage, she is legally entitled to do that, and personally entitled to do so too.
Dear Moneyist,
You know absolutely nothing about marriage.
Sincerely, Captain Obvious