Goliath Claims He Only Lost Because He Fought David On Slightly Sloped Surface - Babylon Bee

According to the scroll, the Israelites were quick to point out that the hill David was standing on only had a five-degree slope. The Philistines, however, vehemently maintained that it wasn’t a fair fight because it violated safety rules for Goliath to try to fight on any sort of inclined terrain.

At publishing time, another portion of the scroll revealed Goliath explaining that he was just one quick head turn away from David’s sling causing nothing but a scratched ear.