Pirates Under Fire For Directly Marketing Team To Children - The Onion

The team knows that no sane adult would willingly become a Pirates fan, so they have to go after minors. They hook children early because they know the cycle of hope and despair is addicting, and if young kids start watching games, there’s a good chance they’ll grow up to be season-ticket holders. They know that Pirates fandom is linked to depression, anxiety, and even suicidal ideation, but they don’t care.