Idiot Immigrants Enter Country Legally - The Babylon Bee

They spent their entire life savings, worked for years, took the citizenship test, and now they will have to work hard and start businesses and follow the rules. Like a bunch of suckers. According to sources, they will now work the rest of their lives to pay for the free government benefits for people streaming across the southern border. The joke’s on them!

Pretty funny all the way through.

Went for a ride after dinner, first time in almost a year. Absolutely gorgeous evening, and fun!

🚴🏻‍♂️

It’s the most wonderful season of the year!

🍂

Biden Calls Democrats to White House as Party Splinters on Spending Plans - WSJ

White House press secretary Jen Psaki said Tuesday that the president would be “meeting with, engaging with, speaking with a range of members over the coming days in this pivotal period of time.”

Press Secretary is a hard job, and few are ever well liked. Jen isn’t off to a great start.

This quote is typical of her briefings: lots of words, almost zero substance.

How Renters Made Out in the Pandemic - WSJ

Now, in a belated disclosure, the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau reports that renters’ finances improved during the pandemic. In other words, the eviction ban was never needed.

Some targeted, locally driven help: yes.

Blanket, en masse, zero accountability or recourse: no.

Just another robot invention.

🤖

Justice Department Preparing to Challenge American-JetBlue Alliance - WSJ

Across administrations, the Justice Department for years has been concerned that airline competition is dwindling

Me, too. But the facts tell a different story. Travelers can stay on a single airline for cross-regional flights and fares have dropped considerably.

Last day of Summer!

☀️

App Library on iPad is very nice.

Texas doctor performs abortion, despite state law banning abortions - USA Today

In an op-ed in The Washington Post, Dr. Alan Braid of San Antonio said he performed the abortion on Sep. 6

This story shows how completely messed up this entire debate is.

A licensed physician uses his life-saving medical training to commit homicide. Not only that, but he deliberately crafted a plan to wait until a set developmental milestone in the victim’s life so that he can prove a point.

To put the finishing touch on his reprehensible act, he brags about it in a national publication?

Pfizer, BioNTech Say Covid-19 Vaccine Is Safe for Children Aged 5 to 11 - WSJ

Pfizer and BioNTech said they hadn’t yet determined vaccine efficacy—how well it protects against Covid-19—for children in the age group.

So don’t waste your time reading any of these articles.

The paradox of the keto diet is that while it can feel restrictive in the universe of all available foods, there’s plenty of really delicious low-carb foods.

Breakfast: fried egg sandwich with avocado and havarti cheese.

🥑

Taking a child, he placed it in their midst, and putting his arms around it, he said to them, “Whoever receives one child such as this in my name, receives me; and whoever receives me, receives not me but the One who sent me.”

Mark 9:36-37

Built a gate today. Not bad!

Update: Drone Strike Thought To Have Taken Down ISIS Actually Hit A Chuck E. Cheese In Ohio - The Babylon Bee

The Biden administration has unleashed another devastating strike on ISIS-K, blowing one of their hideouts to smithereens.

A righteous strike!

U.S. Military Acknowledges Kabul Drone Strike Killed 10 Civilians, Including Seven Children - WSJ

The acknowledgment of the botched airstrike also underscored likely limitations of future U.S. counterterrorism efforts in the country. Military officials have insisted that they would be able to monitor, detect and interrupt militant activity despite having no presence on the ground in Afghanistan, but by using an “over the horizon” approach from distant bases. Counterterrorism and intelligence officials have said that information would be less reliable without information from the ground.

General Milley Is Releasing A Revised Version Of ‘The Art Of War’ – And We’ve Got Exclusive Excerpts - The Babylon Bee

“Keep your friends close and your enemies on speed dial.”

Enraged Joel Osteen Flips Over Tables Being Used To Give Bibles Away Instead Of Selling His Book - The Babylon Bee

He said to them, “My house will be called a house of profit, but you are making it a den of prayer!”

Not cool.

He fashioned a whip out of his collectible neckties and drove all from the Lakewood sanctuary and into the gift shop.

General Milley Rides Through Streets Of Beijing Shouting ‘The Americans Are Coming!’ - The Babylon Bee

“Hey look, those Chinese generals are my buddies, they deserve fair warning—I’ve known them for ten years now, and they are always so nice to me. They were super supportive about that whole Afghanistan withdrawal thing—those friendships are more important than some job,” explained General Milley, America’s highest-ranking military officer.

Amazon Is Doing It. So Is Walmart. Why Retail Loves ‘Buy Now, Pay Later.’ - WSJ

“Our goal is financial inclusion for all,” said Julia Unger, Walmart’s vice president of financial services.

No, your goal is higher sales.

Benedict’s creature creation.