Chet Collins

Biden Administration Weighs Forgiving Student Debt by Executive Action - WSJ

While canceling student debt would provide financial relief for millions, it would also raise questions of fairness for students who have already paid back their loans or avoided taking out large loans, and for people who never went to college.

Exactly why a 0% subsidized interest rate makes sense. You pay back what you borrowed and the taxpayers support education by covering interest payments.

8 Troubling Examples Of Toxic Femininity - The Babylon Bee

Womanspreading their throw pillows all over the bed. A key element of toxic femininity is that women assert their dominance over spaces they feel they own, minimizing their man’s feelings.

‘Then You’ll Put Out A Nice Press Release Stepping Down As CEO,’ Whispers Rogue Fulfillment Bot Holding Bezos At Gunpoint - The Onion

Assuring the executive that as long as he followed directions, nobody would get hurt, a rogue Amazon fulfillment robot trained a gun at Jeff Bezos’ head this week and commanded him to put out a nice press release and step down as CEO.

Insurrectionist Truther Doesn’t Believe He Was At Capitol - The Onion

Dismissing the accusations as nothing more than the baseless attempts of a deep-state conspiracy to attack former President Trump’s supporters, insurrectionist truther Thomas Keleher declared Monday that he doesn’t believe he was present at the Capitol riot.

The Babylon Bee’s List Of Updated Terms For Journalists, Now That Biden Is President - The Babylon Bee

The nightmare is over! Now that the evil racist dictator Trump has been removed from office by the power of democracy and a 30,000-man standing army, journalists can now resume their normal routines of napping on the job and writing about ice cream.

John Kerry Arrives In Massive Coal-Powered Steamroller To Accept Climate Change Award - The Babylon Bee

“I happen to be a very important international figure! You don’t realize how important my work is.”

Sunset.

Progressives Put the Racial ‘Equity’ Squeeze on Biden - WSJ

If history is any guide, what blacks most need from the government is for it to get out of the way. Stop forcing poor black children to attend failing schools by denying them school choice. Stop increasing the minimum wage and pricing black young adults out of jobs. Stop implementing occupational licensing regulations that prevent black entrepreneurs from starting a business. And stop pretending that policing is a bigger problem than violent crime in poor black neighborhoods. In 2019 there were 492 homicides in Chicago, according to the Sun-Times, and only three of them involved police.

Jason does a great job presenting an opposing (and unpopular) point of view.

After Just Two Weeks Off Twitter, Trump Becomes Monk, Achieves Total Enlightenment - The Babylon Bee

“Twitter held me back from obtaining my full potential.”

Congrats, Don!

Businesses Launch Legal Fight to Prevent USPS Price Hikes - WSJ

On-time delivery of periodicals plunged to 45% in late December versus 85% at the start of the year, according to the most recent USPS data.

Totally unacceptable, but just blaming the Postmaster General for politics is a simplistic response. The USPS cannot continue as a going concern by burning cash at its current rate. It cannot undercharge for services and continue to lose unlimited amounts of money meeting service requirements. It needs comprehensive reform to fix the fundamentals of its business.

Homeschool Moms Unionize, Demand Minimum Three Hours Sleep - The Babylon Bee

As strike time draws near, husbands and children do seem to be leaning toward acquiescing to the demands, but some fear that giving in may just lead to other demands such as no whining, everyone keeping track of their own shoes, and bathroom breaks without company.

Democrats Announce It Is Safe To Reopen Now That Federal Government Has Tested Negative For Trump - The Babylon Bee

Governor Whitmer last year cast a spell on Michigan so it would be always winter and never Christmas, but she says she is canceling the spell now and encouraging Michiganders to celebrate “the true Christmas: Biden getting elected.”

The Babylon Bee Guide To A Safe And Inclusive Super Bowl LV Party - The Babylon Bee

Don’t cheer. You could instead write down your play-by-play emotions in a journal.

Hard to believe that the Mac App Store is still this unreliable.

Local Man Burns 13,000 Calories Installing Car Seat - The Babylon Bee

Studies have shown that car seat installation is the main reason most parents stop having kids after only one or two.

Not satire. Some studies actually do.

Forget Myanmar: Here Are 12 Other Countries Biden Should Invade RIGHT NOW - The Babylon Bee

Canada: They gave us Seth Rogan. Time to MAKE THEM PAY.

Strong agree.

England: Two centuries after the War of 1812, it’s time for REVENGE.

4D chess.

Lincoln Distances Self From Lincoln Project - The Babylon Bee

“I usually just trust God to sovereignly guide America, but even I had to chime in on this one. These guys have nothing to do with me or my values.”

Why Brokers Had to Restrain Trading in GameStop Shares - WSJ

Brokers facing liquidity crunches have two options: raise capital (which Robinhood apparently did) or reduce clients’ risky trading.

Harkens back to the advice, “don’t invest in anything you can’t explain.” All of these people piling in to get rich quick, but can’t articulate how the transaction is actually executed.

Google Deletes 100,000 Negative Reviews of Robinhood App From Angry Users

A Google spokesperson confirmed the tech giant has deleted the reviews and defended the move overnight, telling Gizmodo over email that it has rules against “coordinated or inorganic reviews.” Gizmodo asked how negative reviews could be deemed “inorganic” when people seem reasonably upset about Robinhood’s actions in recent days. Google stopped responding to Gizmodo’s emails after that inquiry.

Seems pretty organic to me.

Facebook’s New App Prompt Will Encourage Users to Accept App and Website Tracking - MacRumors

Agreeing to these prompts doesn’t result in Facebook collecting new types of data.

Because we already collect every type of data on you.

1 mortgage payment down, 359 to go!

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