Democrats Post Job Listing For Supreme Court Nominee Accusers - The Babylon Bee

The best candidates from all applicants will be invited to a casting call in D.C. to show off their “believable accusation” ability.

Giggling Trump Prank Calls Merrick Garland To Tell Him He’s Been Shortlisted For SCOTUS - The Babylon Bee

“When I heard Ruth Bader Ginsburg died, I said to myself, ‘There is only one man for the job,’” Trump told Garland over the phone while barely holding back laughter.

Last day of Summer. 🍉

Calendar.app in iOS 14 is fantastic. Great improvements in watchOS, too.

Fantastical is typically late on updates. If they don’t hit a grand slam, it’s curtains!

My Apple Watch is on the way! Just left South Korea on one of UPS’ new 747-8s. Will be on my wrist tomorrow.

International logistics is fascinating.

✈️📦⌚️

The App Library really makes it easy to have all of the apps that you need.

Breaking Judicial Norms: A History - WSJ

What Republicans should do is let the voters know about the Democratic filibuster and court-packing plans, and make them a campaign issue.

Just renewed my Micro.blog subscription for another year. Looking forward to 2.0 and beyond!

Why the ‘Biden Rule’ Doesn’t Apply in 2020 - WSJ

For well over a century—the last exception was Chief Justice Melville Fuller in 1888, during President Cleveland’s first term—the Senate hasn’t confirmed a Supreme Court nominee chosen in an election year by a president of the opposite party. That’s why, in 2016, Mr. McConnell let voters break the stalemate.

Genius Trump Nominates Joe Biden To Supreme Court Forcing Dems To Accuse Him Of Sexual Assault - The Babylon Bee

“We now believe Tara Reade,” said a somber Kamala Harris, “and we will do everything in our power to destroy this man’s life.”

I’m always in awe of the resiliency of nature. 🌻

I spent some time really working on my iPad Magic Keyboard this morning. It’s really well done. Feels very similar to using a MacBook Air.

They later sunrise is really helping my kids sleep in and get the rest that they need.

Just conducted our first budget committee in Keynote. Only took me eight years to find a great way to communicate my spreadsheet.

Nailed it!

Significant delays in delivery of packages from USPS. I wonder what’s going on over there.

Leftists Frantically Begin Rebuilding Everything They Burned Down So They Can Burn It Down Again - The Babylon Bee

As a potential SCOTUS replacement hearing looms, leftists are at their breaking point. So, they threatened to burn everything down. But oops! They already burned it all down. So, they are now frantically rebuilding the buildings, towns, low-income housing, black-owned businesses, and stores they destroyed in the previous riots so they can burn them all down again. The gangs of looters and rioters rushed stores and returned everything they stole, rebuilt the buildings they’d burned down, and replaced all the windows they’d smashed.

Crisp Fall morning air on my walk this morning. More, please! 🍁

Whoops—We Found 1,666 Ballots - WSJ

Only 47 days left to get it right.

Going to be one rough ride.

Man Sticks To Keto Diet For Full 12 Seconds - The Babylon Bee

In an amazing display of self-restraint and discipline, the man avoided all carbs, bread, fruits, sugars, rice, beans, and pastries for the entire twelve seconds. He started out his diet by eating a hard-boiled egg. On his second bite, he tossed it in the trash can and ate a muffin, congratulating himself on doing such a good job this time.

Not me!

Pennsylvania High Court Extends Deadline for Accepting Mail Ballots - WSJ

Lee Moak, a Democratic appointee on the Postal Service Board of Governors, separately defended the agency, saying it is acting without political objectives. “Any suggestion that there is a politically motivated attack on the efficiency of the Postal Service is completely and utterly without merit,” he said in a statement.

Agreed.