Ukrainian Delegate Knows It Dangerous To Eat At Peace Talks, But Brownie Just Too Tempting - The Onion

“Obviously we’ve been warned not to touch any of the food or drink, but they didn’t prepare us for how perfectly moist and fudgy these things would be,” said the high-level delegate who reportedly eyed the plate of baked chocolate confections with a mixture of suspicion and hunger while noting that he hadn’t eaten all day and the brownies would clearly go down great with a glass of cold milk.

White House Labor Nominee David Weil Blocked in Senate - WSJ

Mr. Weil, an economist at Brandeis University, previously served as head of the division between 2014 and 2017 under the Obama administration. Mr. Biden nominated him to return to the post in June with backing from labor unions.

Good news. Weil’s policies while previously in office were just terrible, and the courts agreed.

Biden’s Gaffes Grate on Voters - WSJ Opinion

Asked by Fox News’s Peter Doocy about this triple gaffe Monday at a White House rollout of his 2023 budget, the president replied, “None of the three occurred.”

Ah, my mistake, sir.

I’ll disregard your quotes and your staff’s many statements clarifying your quotes.

‘I Can’t Work With This Man’—After Repeated Gaffes, Biden’s Teleprompter Resigns In Disgust - The Babylon Bee

“I can’t take it anymore,” the teleprompter read. “I give him everything he needs to say and he still ignores me. He goes off-script and talks absolute nonsense. It’s humiliating!”

Biden to Tap Strategic Oil Reserves, as Crude Prices Drop - WSJ

A release of that size would be nearly four times the largest ever drawdown from the U.S. Strategic Petroleum Reserve, according to analysts at ClearView Energy Partners LLC. And it comes after the president has already tapped the reserve twice in six months, amid his promises to act aggressively as needed to ease rising prices for drivers.

I hope there’s not a legitimate strategic need for those barrels between now and when they’re replaced.

Buying votes doesn’t qualify as a good use of a national strategic stockpile.

Dave Ramsey Stars In New Show ‘To Catch A Borrower’ Where He Catches Christians Trying To Buy Things On Credit Cards - The Babylon Bee

“Do you know who I am? I’m Dave FREAKING Ramsey and you’re BROKE, STUPID! What makes you think you can afford those golf clubs when you haven’t even finished Baby Step 2?”

Biden Considers Invoking Defense Production Act to Boost Minerals for EV Batteries - WSJ

The companies would still be subject to the regular environmental review process and permitting wouldn’t be expedited, the person said. Mr. Biden’s plans were earlier reported by Bloomberg.

That moment when you realize that your plan to clear a log jam is just more logs.

401(k) Savings Plans Get a Boost in Bipartisan Retirement Bill - WSJ

The bill would allow older workers to make bigger contributions.

Nice payoff to the AARP vote.

This illustrates how dumb this bill and this Congress is. Why not increase limits for all workers so we don’t have another wave of underfunded/underprepared savers in the decades to come?

Putting money into your retirement account at age 50+ has virtually no opportunity for a meaningful return when compared to the same savings opportunity for workers in their 20s, 30s, and 40s.

Ukraine Proposes Neutral Status With Guarantees, but Zelensky Calls for More Western Help - WSJ

Russian Deputy Defense Minister Alexander Fomin said Russia would significantly decrease its military activities around Kyiv and Chernihiv, north of the capital, in order to increase trust during negotiations.

Also, they were getting demolished.