Trump Takes Back Old Position At McDonald’s To Boost Weak Jobs Report - Babylon Bee

“I can’t talk too long, I’ve got to finish these orders before the end of my shift, and then I have to take a call to broker a peace deal between Pakistan and India,” Trump said. “Those jobs numbers were ridiculous. I fired the lady who made them up. She’s gone. Nasty woman. Lots of people have jobs. Not her, but lots of people, believe me.”

Everyone’s got to pitch in.

Texas Democrats Fled to Illinois to Protest Congressional Redistricting. But Pritzker’s State Is a Gerrymandering Hot Spot. - WSJ

Just three of 17 Illinois congressional districts—about 18%—are represented by Republicans in a state where President Trump won 44% of the 2024 vote. The nonpartisan Gerrymandering Project at Princeton University awarded the congressional map approved in Illinois in 2021 with two “F” grades, one in the category of partisan fairness and another for geographic features.

Threat to our democracy.

“They decided to cheat and we’re going to respond in kind.”

Not a great quote from the DNC chair.

August Saturday morning.

Why is Chick-fil-A so good at everything EXCEPT coffee?

Big Lots Closes All Stores After Therapist Helps Company Work Through Hoarding Tendencies - The Onion

Finally closing the doors on its last remaining outlet after getting rid of an unwieldy stockpile of variety goods, the discount retailer Big Lots ceased operations Wednesday following a therapy program in which the company’s roughly 30,000 employees confronted their self-destructive hoarding tendencies.

Respect. 📦

Trump Administration Weighs Charging Patent Holders New Fee to Raise Revenue - WSJ

Commerce Department officials are discussing charging patent holders 1% to 5% of their overall patent value, a shift that could dramatically increase fees, according to people familiar with the matter.

Patents are already expensive; there’s the filing fee but the attorney fees to get you through the complex process is through the roof.

Now the government is going to guess the future economic value of a novel invention?

This is stupid.

And the fees wouldn’t go to the debt as advertised; it just becomes a new slush fund.