Jill Biden To Dress Up As Real Doctor For Halloween - Babylon Bee

sources also confirmed that President Biden will be dressing up as a President with an approval rating above 40%.

Mortgage Rates Hit 6.92%, a 20-Year High - WSJ

A buyer that earns the median household income and puts 20% down could afford a home costing roughly $339,000 this week. That buyer could have afforded a home costing almost $449,000 in January

The cost of Fed inaction and reckless Congressional spending that now the average American has to pay.

The cost of borrowing has risen across the board since the central bank embarked on its aggressive campaign to curb inflation.

And with Core Inflation still accelerating, the real pain hasn’t even started!

Saudi Arabia Defied U.S. Warnings Ahead of OPEC+ Production Cut - WSJ

U.S. officials called their counterparts in Saudi Arabia and other big Gulf producers with an urgent appeal—delay the decision for another month

Yeah, come on guys, just delay until November 9th!

Saudi officials dismissed the requests, which they viewed as a political gambit by the Biden administration to avoid bad news ahead of the U.S. midterm elections, on which control of Congress hangs. High gas prices and inflation have been central issues in the campaign.

Astute.

Congress Likely to Change Rules for IRA Catch-Up Contributions - WSJ

“These changes to the catch-up contribution rules are designed to encourage people to save for retirement,” says Sarah Brenner

Why not encourage all people to save for retirement? This two-tier system makes almost no sense, and when the “catch-up” rules kick in at age 50, the train is out of the station and already two towns over!

Trump’s ‘Death Wish’ Rhetoric - WSJ Opinion

Five weeks from Election Day, Mr. Trump could be working and spending money to elect a GOP Congress, or to help his home state of Florida recover from Hurricane Ian. Instead he’s attacking Mr. McConnell and his wife as part of a personal political vendetta

Six States Sue to Block Biden Student Debt Cancellation Plan - WSJ

“Republican officials from these six states are standing with special interests, and fighting to stop relief for borrowers buried under mountains of debt,” said Abdullah Hasan, a White House spokesman.

Special interests like the plumbers and electricians that never went to college?

Hero: DeSantis Flies Hurricane Ian To Martha’s Vineyard - Babylon Bee

“I’ll tell you what, hurricanes have been tormenting Florida for too long. Not on my watch!” said DeSantis to a crowd of screaming fans. “So you know what? We’re gonna load this hurricane onto a plane and fly it north. Martha’s Vinyard, you’d better board up your 10,000 square foot mansions and cancel your polo matches, because Ian is on its way!”

Congress Signs Up For $40 Billion Per Month Ukraine+ Subscription - Babylon Bee

To avoid fighting over further spending bills, Congress has opted instead to sign up for the brand new subscription service Ukraine+, which only costs $40 billion per month.

I think this is money well spent.

Credit where due though, this is a great joke.

Toyota Engages With Critics of Its EV Push - WSJ

Toyota has said it believes hybrids can reduce carbon emissions while the battery supply chains and charging networks necessary to support big fleets of EVs are built globally over the coming decades. Hybrid cars—which made up nearly 30% of Toyota and Lexus global shipments

This is a far more reasonable approach to the nascent EV market. We’re still in proof-of-concept for EVs. Hybrid technology is here right now and proven over two decades. Why bet the farm on a far-off technology when you can make incremental positive change today?

Joe Manchin Releases Bill to Speed Up Energy Projects as Lawmakers Balk - WSJ

Sen. Jeff Merkley (D., Ore.) and several Democratic colleagues are pushing Mr. Schumer to keep the spending package and permitting package separate, stating in a letter that environmental issues “should be examined through detailed committee consideration and a robust floor debate separate from the urgent need to see that the government stays open.”

Yes, let’s be super careful about the environment and stick to established procedure. But when it comes to spending taxpayer dollars, let’s throw caution to the wind and YOLO!!!!!!

New York Attorney General Sues Trump, His Company on Fraud Allegations - WSJ

A spokeswoman for the Trump Organization called the complaint “the culmination of nearly three years of persistent, targeted, unethical political harassment.”

This professional vendetta that James launched, announcing in her AG campaign that she would indict Trump if elected, without even collecting a single document or piece of evidence, really casts doubt on the veracity of this suit.

Trump may have done something wrong, but the way this entire investigation has played out is an affront to our justice system. We uncover crimes and then indict suspects, not indict suspects and then go looking for a crime.

Legal Challenges to Student Loan Forgiveness Loom Before Midterms - WSJ

Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D., Mass.). Republicans “will take their case to court because, like it is with abortion, they know that can’t win with the public generally.”

Has the Senator heard about the pot and the kettle?

The Pope Abandons Cardinal Zen - WSJ Opinion

On a return flight from Kazakhstan Thursday, the pope suggested this is no accident. When a reporter asked about Cardinal Zen, the pope offered not a word of support, noting only that the cardinal “says what he feels” despite knowing there are “limitations.” The pope declined to even say China was undemocratic. All that was missing was a cock crowing in the background.

Father Living His Best Life During Those 3 Hours On Saturday Morning When He’s The Only One Up - Babylon Bee

Every Saturday morning, Walker’s able to do things he can’t do at any other time of the week. He reportedly plays one of the 767 Steam games he owns for “at least 10 minutes”, answers emails that have been languishing forgotten in his inbox for the past seven days, drinks five coffees, gets in a workout, tinkers with a neglected DIY project in the garage, organizes his hobby shelf, makes breakfast, watches a few YouTube videos, and even reads his Bible.

Walmart, Target Urge Lawmakers to Pass Bill Taking Aim at Visa, Mastercard Fees - WSJ

In a letter this week to all members of Congress, the merchants said the proposed legislation would increase competition, leading to a reduction in the fees they pay when they accept credit cards.

If this passes, it could absolutely destroy the credit card industry.

Without the transaction fees to pay for the “perks,” the value proposition becomes, “Hey, want to borrow $5 at 24% to buy that coffee?”

The fig leaf would come off.

It’s always a good day when I get to climb into an airplane.

The Man From Rivian Who Wants to Change How We Buy Cars - WSJ

Dealers and state lawmakers who oppose Mr. Chen’s efforts say that independent dealerships play a critical role in the car-buying process, helping to create competition between franchises that ultimately keeps prices affordable for consumers. They argue that dealers also provide important services, such as repair and warranty work, and arrange financing for buyers at competitive rates.

Fair point, but most dealers are complete jerks. So in an ideal world, that would be true. But in reality, it’s not achieving those objectives. Look at all of the stories of cars going for tens of thousands of dollars over MSRP and manufacturers slapping them on the wrist.

A Sanctuary City Spectacle - WSJ Opinion

This political moralizing is easier than actually doing something about the border. And, by the way, the federal government is also sending buses with migrants to northern cities, as New York’s Mayor Adams has acknowledged. Many migrants have relatives in these cities and want to go there.

Martha’s Vineyard Lovingly Welcomes Immigrants To Any Other Part Of America - Babylon Bee

Several media outlets were on the scene as migrants were caringly herded back onto the buses by people wearing Brunello Cucinelli boat shoes and cashmere sweaters, who afterward ran off to make their court times at the local tennis club. “The outpouring of otherworldly lovingkindness from this progressive community is stunning,” said one local news anchor. “I have never seen a group of people so humanely told to ‘go back where they came from.’ These people certainly practice what they preach.”