Chet Collins

After Two Weeks With Kamala, Tim Walz Announces He Has Signed Back Up With National Guard And Requested Deployment To Iraq - Babylon Bee

Though leaving the ticket after only two weeks, campaign staffers report that Walz actually set the record for the longest time any person has ever worked with Kamala.

Taliban Holds Parade In Honor Of Kamala’s Achievements In Afghanistan - Babylon Bee

“We could never have become this strong without Kamala Harris,” said Taliban spokesterrorist Hassan Al-Samir. “Though we were once a rag-tag band of goat herders causing trouble in the mountains, we are now a fully equipped military force. Thank you, Joe Biden and Kamala Harris. You helped make us what we are today.”

Ruled By Fear: This Man Irrationally Refuses To Fly Despite There Being Almost Zero Chance He Would Ever Wind Up In A Sixth Plane Crash - Clickhole

Accidents like the five that have befallen Semple are so rare, in fact, that it’s actually far more likely that he’ll be struck by lightning than it is that he’ll once more hear that now-familiar whine of an aircraft he’s on plummeting from the sky.

Taylor Swift Jet Launches Retaliatory Strike On ISIS Stronghold - Babylon Bee

At publishing time, sources revealed Swift had already begun writing an upcoming song to take further revenge on the terrorists.

Can’t Be Good: The Bus Driver Is Currently On A Zoom Call, Not Like A Friend Catch Up Or Anything, Like An All-Hands Meeting For An Entirely Different Job - Clickhole

She just shared her screen to show everyone else a spreadsheet and now she’s going on and on about P functions, which has to be illegal if you’re also driving a bus full of 25 people.

I’ve spent the last four years putting together a pretty awesome knife collection. I’m thinking about challenging myself to carry a different one each day and review it here on my blog.

It’s been a long nine days.