Chet Collins

Tulip picking.

Russia’s Push for Self-Sufficient Economy Fails Before Western Sanctions - WSJ

Russians are poorer than before the Crimea annexation: by the end of 2020, real incomes had fallen by 9.3% from their 2013 level.

Ouch.

If your business requires a permanent police presence, and you’re not a bank, I’m not coming inside.

I may have taken a wrong turn.

In Massive Escalation, Zelensky Requests America Send Florida Georgia Line To Play Concert For Russian Soldiers - The Babylon Bee

“I know full well the consequences we all may face for such action. We unleash the full evil of bro-country against humanity at our own peril. But the peril of our foes must match our own! It is therefore with a heavy heart that I ask America to finally take decisive action, and send that accursed duo to the Russian camps.”

Finally giving Setapp a try. It’s a lot better than expected.

Beautiful day on the ramp.

Stock Pickers Watched the S&P 500 Pass Them By Again in 2021 - WSJ

the benchmark S&P 500 notched a total return, including price gains and dividends, of 28.7% last year. That was a stronger showing than that of 85% of U.S. large-cap stock-picking mutual funds

Annual reminder of the perils of active management.

2021 was the 12th consecutive year in which the majority of actively managed funds of large-cap stocks watched the S&P 500 pass them by.

Adam And Eve Tell God That Putin Made Them Eat Forbidden Fruit - The Babylon Bee

“Lord, to be fair, I am NOT responsible,” said Adam emphatically. My wife is the one who gave me the fruit, and she was clearly deceived by Russian disinformation spread by Vladimir Putin. Not much I can do about that. Putin is responsible."

Scientists Discover Tea Tastes Best When Dumped Out And Replaced With Coffee - The Babylon Bee

“Mmmm! Tastes great!” said Dr. Bean Yuban. “We finally cracked the code.”

Biden Assures America That The Buck Stops With Putin - The Babylon Bee

Economic expert and TikTok makeup tutorial influencer Ellie Zeiler concurs with the President’s assessment. “All this bad stuff has nothing to do with bad energy policy, bad foreign policy, bad economic policy, or bad monetary policy,” she said, reading the script given to her by Biden’s propaganda czar. “It’s all, like, Putin’s fault and stuff.”

Russia Imposes Sanctions on Biden, Other Top U.S. Officials - WSJ

and White House press secretary Jen Psaki.

Does she have to give back her pink fuzzy hat?

The Price of Biden’s Excuses for Inflation Keeps Rising - WSJ Opinion

In that same speech, to the House Democratic Caucus Issues Conference, he bemoaned that all his hard work doesn’t get the respect it deserves. “The American people just trying to stay above water don’t understand this. You tell them what the American Recovery Act was, and they look at you like, ‘What are you talking about?’”

Crisis for Biden’s Chaotic Foreign Policy - WSJ Opinion

Mr. Biden’s climate agenda has collapsed into utter incoherence. As the administration frantically hunts for oil and gas world-wide, it is throwing both climate and human-rights scruples overboard—so far, to little effect. Efforts to cultivate the Maduro dictatorship in Venezuela have produced blowback in Congress. Saudi Arabia demonstrated its contempt for Team Biden by following its rejection of the administration’s plea to pump more oil with the largest mass execution in its history. Not to be outdone, Iran launched a series of missile attacks on what it claimed were Israeli targets in the Kurdish region of Iraq. China capped a disastrous climate weekend by announcing plans to expand domestic coal mining by 300 million tons a year and to build a 620-million-ton coal reserve.

Joe Manchin Makes the Right Call by Opposing Sarah Bloom Raskin for the Federal Reserve - WSJ Opinion

Ms. Raskin told the Senate she won’t use her powers against any industry, but her public record is clear. In June 2020, she wrote that financial regulators must “do all they can—which turns out to be a lot—to bring about the adoption of practices and policies that will allocate capital and align portfolios toward sustainable investments that do not depend on carbon and fossil fuels.”

iOS 15.4 Is Here: Unlock Your iPhone With a Mask On, Hear Siri’s New Voice - WSJ

Realizing that all of that isn’t what people really want, Apple finally releases an update that lets you unlock Face ID while wearing a mask. No password punch-in needed. Just, you know, two years too late.

And USPS says they’ll deliver those free COVID tests you ordered tomorrow.

Sen. Joe Manchin Signals Opposition to Sarah Bloom Raskin for Fed Post - WSJ

A White House official said the administration is still working to line up bipartisan support for her, saying Ms. Raskin has been the target of an “unprecedented, baseless campaign led by oil and gas companies that sought to tarnish her distinguished career.”

Completely baseless! They’re only using her direct quotes!

Obama Receives Nobel Prize In Medicine For Getting COVID - The Babylon Bee

He has already begun a new COVID memoir, which has already been selected for a Pulitzer Prize.

Ever Wondered How Your Tax Dollars Make It To Those In Need? Check Out This Step-By-Step Guide - The Babylon Bee

1. The IRS asks you to please take a wild guess at how much money you should pay them.

Good luck!

2. The IRS takes this amount of money. If you guessed the wrong amount, straight to jail!

Oops! Miss by $1,000 or more and you’ll be penalized!

This article is quite perfect.

Reese Witherspoon and Gwyneth Paltrow Push for Crypto Sisterhood - WSJ

Some of these crypto-enthusiasts say they just don’t want women to miss out on the next big thing, if not the next sure thing. Ms. Kunis said women should not buy NFTs expecting to make money. “Just do it because you love it,” she said.

Pro tip: if a celebrity is trying to get you to buy a financial product, it’s garbage.

U.S. Travel Mask Mandate Extended by One Month to April 18 - WSJ

Travelers in the U.S. will have to continue wearing masks on airplanes, buses and other forms of transit through April 18 under a federal mandate that the Biden administration is extending

Asinine.

Nearly two-thirds of the more than 800 reports of unruly passengers this year have been related to masks, the FAA has said.

U.S. Banned Russian Oil. Will Suspension of Gasoline Tax Be Next? - WSJ

Democratic governors from states including Michigan, Wisconsin and Pennsylvania this week pushed Congress to suspend the tax

Strange coincidence, voters in Michigan, Wisconsin, and Pennsylvania will vote for a new governor in November.

“Russia’s aggression is costing us all, and it’s no time for profiteering or price gouging,” Mr. Biden warned oil companies earlier this week.

I’m confused. I thought this was the Putin Price Hike™️? Now it’s gouging?

This administration talk about price gouging all the time. Where are the indictments?

Mr. Biden has pledged to do everything he can to lower gas prices, but on Tuesday he acknowledged that his options might be limited. “They’re going to go up,” he said. “Can’t do much right now.”

He’s spent three years railing against fossil fuels, and 14 months in office taking every administrative step possible to limit US oil and gas production. He’s right, he has zero options to fix this problem in the next 8-12 months.

U.S. February Consumer Prices Rose 7.9% From Year Earlier - WSJ

U.S. inflation reached a new four-decade high of 7.9% in February, the Labor Department said Thursday, as Russia’s invasion of Ukraine pushed energy prices sharply higher.

I got a D in Medieval Philosophy back in Fall 2009, also because of the Russian invasion.

Hostages for Oil From Venezuela? - WSJ Opinion

The Biden Administration is going hat in hand to oil producers everywhere except the U.S. to increase global supply amid sanctions on Russian oil. Apparently begging Mr. Maduro, Iran and the Saudis is preferable to encouraging more oil production in the U.S. and Canada.

We had a glimpse last week of the foreign policy genius that Joe Biden has bragged about for three years.

Then we got the Polish MiG affair and buying oil from a different group of terrible autocrats.