Chet Collins

Reese Witherspoon and Gwyneth Paltrow Push for Crypto Sisterhood - WSJ

Some of these crypto-enthusiasts say they just don’t want women to miss out on the next big thing, if not the next sure thing. Ms. Kunis said women should not buy NFTs expecting to make money. “Just do it because you love it,” she said.

Pro tip: if a celebrity is trying to get you to buy a financial product, it’s garbage.

U.S. Travel Mask Mandate Extended by One Month to April 18 - WSJ

Travelers in the U.S. will have to continue wearing masks on airplanes, buses and other forms of transit through April 18 under a federal mandate that the Biden administration is extending

Asinine.

Nearly two-thirds of the more than 800 reports of unruly passengers this year have been related to masks, the FAA has said.

U.S. Banned Russian Oil. Will Suspension of Gasoline Tax Be Next? - WSJ

Democratic governors from states including Michigan, Wisconsin and Pennsylvania this week pushed Congress to suspend the tax

Strange coincidence, voters in Michigan, Wisconsin, and Pennsylvania will vote for a new governor in November.

“Russia’s aggression is costing us all, and it’s no time for profiteering or price gouging,” Mr. Biden warned oil companies earlier this week.

I’m confused. I thought this was the Putin Price Hike™️? Now it’s gouging?

This administration talk about price gouging all the time. Where are the indictments?

Mr. Biden has pledged to do everything he can to lower gas prices, but on Tuesday he acknowledged that his options might be limited. “They’re going to go up,” he said. “Can’t do much right now.”

He’s spent three years railing against fossil fuels, and 14 months in office taking every administrative step possible to limit US oil and gas production. He’s right, he has zero options to fix this problem in the next 8-12 months.

U.S. February Consumer Prices Rose 7.9% From Year Earlier - WSJ

U.S. inflation reached a new four-decade high of 7.9% in February, the Labor Department said Thursday, as Russia’s invasion of Ukraine pushed energy prices sharply higher.

I got a D in Medieval Philosophy back in Fall 2009, also because of the Russian invasion.

Hostages for Oil From Venezuela? - WSJ Opinion

The Biden Administration is going hat in hand to oil producers everywhere except the U.S. to increase global supply amid sanctions on Russian oil. Apparently begging Mr. Maduro, Iran and the Saudis is preferable to encouraging more oil production in the U.S. and Canada.

We had a glimpse last week of the foreign policy genius that Joe Biden has bragged about for three years.

Then we got the Polish MiG affair and buying oil from a different group of terrible autocrats.

What Surging Gasoline Prices Mean for You - WSJ

President Biden acknowledged that banning Russian crude oil will result in higher gasoline prices in the U.S. He said the administration’s previously announced move to release 30 million barrels of oil from the government’s reserves will help blunt the price increases at the pump. 

It’s brilliant politics to blame Russia for high gas prices.

Oil is a commodity that trades on supply, demand, and sentiment. Biden’s terrible energy policy drove the lions share of this run-up in prices.

House Lawmakers Release $1.5 Trillion Spending Bill That Includes $13.6 Billion for Ukraine

The House is expected to vote on the omnibus legislation on Wednesday and send it to the Senate, which will then debate the legislation and vote on it this week.

Nice to see our government wisely debating how to spend our tax dollars in the open where the public can provide input to the process.

Wouldn’t it be a shame if it was all done behind closed doors, wrapped into a bill 1000s of pages long, the price tag juiced, and suddenly spilled into public view with just days before it was voted on? That’d just be reckless.

Senate Passes Bipartisan Postal Service Overhaul - WSJ

The bill would undo a requirement in a 2006 law that the Postal Service prefund its retiree health benefits, which the agency projects will save $27 billion over a decade.

USPS hasn’t made those required payments in over a decade. So I’m going to save $1M by foregoing a planned purchase of a $1M beach house and book those savings to my balance sheet.

And that’s how the government does math.

Saudi, Emirati Leaders Decline Calls With Biden During Ukraine Crisis - WSJ

The White House unsuccessfully tried to arrange calls between President Biden and the de facto leaders of Saudi Arabia and the United Arab Emirates as the U.S. was working to build international support for countering Russia’s invasion of Ukraine and contain a surge in oil prices, said Middle East and U.S. officials.

Well that’s embarrassing.

Both Prince Mohammed and Sheikh Mohammed took phone calls from Russian President Vladimir Putin last week, after declining to speak with Mr. Biden.

Double ouch.

When asked in an interview with the Atlantic magazine released last week if Mr. Biden misunderstood the Saudi leader, Prince Mohammed responded: “Simply, I do not care.”

Rappers Replace Flashy Gold Bling With Gasoline Cans - The Babylon Bee

As gas prices surge, rappers and other wealthy celebrities have started replacing their usual gold bling with gasoline cans to show off to the world they finally made it.

True wealth.

Minneapolis Teachers Go on Strike Over Pay, Labor Shortage - WSJ

The school district has said it faces a budget gap in revenue and expenses caused by higher costs, a drop in students and long-term underfunding.

A drop in students? Huh. I wonder what caused that…

Visa, Mastercard Prepare to Raise Credit-Card Fees - WSJ

U.S. merchants paid card issuers an estimated $55.4 billion in Visa and Mastercard credit-card interchange fees in 2021, more than double the amount in 2012, according to the Nilson Report. They pass along at least some of these costs to the consumer in the form of higher prices.

The misery index must be going through the roof.

Nation Wishes We Had Our Own Oil We Could Dig Up With Big Machines And Then Transport Around With Some Kind Of Pipeline - The Babylon Bee

“If only we had oil, and knew how to get it,” said one local mom as she shelled out $300 for gas to take her kids to soccer practice. “Then maybe we wouldn’t have to buy it from evil regimes around the world and gas prices would be lower. I know that’s ridiculous, but it sure would be nice if that were possible!”

It’s nice to have dreams.

U.S. Is Planning to Ban Russian Oil Imports - WSJ

Mr. Biden has said he wants to do everything he can to insulate Americans from continued oil and gasoline-price increases

I wish he’d choose a more honest line.

Gas is over $4/gallon and there was one can of frosting on the shelf at Walmart for my kid’s birthday cake.

Thanks, Joe!

The Babylon Bee Has Obtained This Exclusive Photo Of The Ghost Of Kyiv - The Babylon Bee

UPDATE: Sadly, The Ghost of [Kyiv] is also shooting down Ukrainian pilots after hearing they said bad things about him on Twitter.

Trump would totally do that

Biden’s Bizarre Oil Diplomacy - WSJ Opinion

It speaks volumes about this Administration that it’s seeking help from Vladimir Putin’s client in Venezuela and our estranged Saudi allies rather than U.S. shale producers or our Canadian friends.

Supreme Court won’t review decision that freed Bill Cosby - WTOP News

The high court — whose nine members include two men accused of sexual misconduct themselves — declined to review a stunning decision out of Pennsylvania that released Cosby from prison in June over the word of a former prosecutor who said he had made a secret promise with Cosby’s lawyers that he could never be charged.

What a disgusting, unsubstantiated comment by the AP.

Cheaper 27-Inch ‘Studio Display’ Reportedly Coming at Tomorrow’s Apple Event - MacRumors

Today’s rumor sheds no light on the potential price of the display, but a price tag around $1,000 seems reasonable given its rumored specifications.

I hope it includes a stand!

Weird: Christians Who Claimed They’d Come Back To Church After COVID Are Still Absent - The Babylon Bee

When Pastor Pewston delivered his sermon on Sunday he was expecting the pews to be packed with long-absent brethren, but he instead found himself face to face with the same ten people he sees every week.

That is strange.

Russia Removed From Apple Maps - The Babylon Bee

“As far as we’re concerned, Russia no longer exists on our detailed map of the entire world,” said CEO Tim Cook from his vacation home in Beijing. “And if Apple Inc. says you don’t exist, then you don’t exist! Russia is now the East Atlantic Ocean. Take that, Russia!”

Calm before the storm.

Klain: White House may extend freeze on student loan payments again - Politico

Progressives and some other Democrats have expressed political concerns about sending tens of millions of Americans student loan bills before the midterm elections this fall — especially when prominent members of the party have been promising debt cancellation for years.

Every month this policy is extended, the more they hurt the very people they claim to be helping.

Biden to Finalize ‘Buy American’ Rule for Government Procurements - WSJ

President Biden is set to highlight during an event Friday at the White House, will mean that products obtained under the “Buy American” program will need to have at least 60% of the value of components made in the U.S., up from the current threshold of 55%.

Watch out Jay Powell, this economy is about to heat up!!!

At the White House event Friday, Siemens USA is set to announce plans to invest $54 million to manufacture components and equipment used in electric-vehicle charging stations and data centers, which it says will lead to the hiring of 300 workers in California and Texas.

Their gross profit last year was $28B and they have a head count of 40,000. This much-trumpeted investment is a rounding error of a rounding error of a rounding error.

Nice to see them continuing to invest, but this is hardly a major decision.