Apparently it is no longer possible to buy a razor to shave your face without making a political statement.

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Biden Bringing U.S. Troops Home So They Can Guard The Capitol - The Babylon Bee

They will be provided with porta-potties and MREs, and will not be allowed to go inside any of the buildings or interact with the very important politicians.

But what is our exit strategy?

Vaccine Recalled After Two People Who Took It Fell Down A Manhole And Died - The Babylon Bee

Some are criticizing the recall of the Johnson & Johnson vaccine since nearly seven million people have taken it and only two have fallen down a manhole, making the risk seem minuscule – especially compared to the death rate of COVID-19. Also, not everyone is sure those deaths are related to the vaccine and believe they may in fact be caused by the carelessness of construction workers.

They make the point perfectly. The public justification for this pause is so thin that it’s laughable. The worst outcome of the past year is that public health officials have driven policy makers to the point of believing that the only acceptable reality is one with zero risk.

Democrats: ‘Voting Needs To Be So Easy That Even The Most Uninformed Idiot Can Do It’ - The Babylon Bee

According to election law experts, voting in most states requires only the most basic human life skills to accomplish– such as having an ID, standing in a line, and pressing buttons. Democrats believe that’s too high a barrier for their voter base.

Baseball Says Cuba ‘Sí,’ Georgia ‘No’ - WSJ

Major League Baseball says “values” compelled it to move this summer’s All-Star Game out of Georgia. But this piety doesn’t square with its long record of collaboration with Cuba’s military dictatorship, one of the world’s most notorious human-rights violators.

Yes.

As recently as 2018, Major League Baseball sought a deal with Raúl under which Havana would send players to the U.S. and baseball would garnish their salaries and send the dollars back to the dictatorship—as if the players were the regime’s property rather than the teams’ employees.

Two-Thirds of iPhone Users Expected to Block Ad Tracking - MacRumors

As many as 68 percent of iPhone users are expected to deny advertisers permission to track them

That few?

You’ve Got Mail

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Amazon Workers in Alabama Vote Against Forming a Union - WSJ

The number of votes against a union exceeds 1608, the total needed to reach a majority of the 3,215 mail-in ballots sent in by workers.

Absolutely stunning.

Biden Bans High-Capacity Assault Stairs - The Babylon Bee

You know right now in America, stair manufacturers can’t be sued. That’s a fact. And anyone can buy a set of assault stairs with no background check in our country. That’s malarkey.

Vaccination Passports Are New Flashpoint in Covid-19 Pandemic - WSJ

The cards, which were initially sold only on less accessible parts of the internet, have started showing up for sale on mainstream websites, potentially allowing unvaccinated people to pose as vaccinated. (emphasis added)

Who cares? If you don’t want to get sick, get the vaccine. If you don’t care, then why should that matter to other people?

About That Tax ‘Race to the Bottom’ - WSJ Opinion

The aim is to insulate governments such as France and Germany that find pro-growth tax reforms to be politically difficult, while making it harder for the Irelands of the world to compete with tax policy.

I didn’t find Yellen’s op-ed earlier this week convincing. Tax is one of the few areas where nations can actually compete for business. Why shouldn’t a small island-state like Ireland have an additional tool to fight it out with continental opponents like France and Germany?

P&G Worked With China Trade Group on Tech to Sidestep Apple Privacy Rules - WSJ

Facebook Inc. and ad-tech firms have been vocal critics of the Apple changes, fearing users won’t consent to being tracked. They say the flow of user data is critical to providing more tailored digital advertising that better resonates with consumers.

In less fancy words, how they make money.

Return To Normal: Texas Announces They Will Go Back To Shooting People Wearing Masks On The Assumption They’re Stagecoach Robbers - The Babylon Bee

Despite Texas having a growing tech sector, the state is still primarily a stagecoach-based economy, with most people in the state making a living from either driving or robbing stagecoaches. The pandemic, with its proliferation of masks, has very much disrupted that industry, and most are happy to have a timeline for things getting back to normal.

Google announced with great fanfare that they’re going to stop selling ads based on individuals and instead will group users into cohorts for ad targeting. That’s great! Or is it?

It’s important to remember that Google, Facebook, Twitter, and their friends are not technology companies. They’re advertising companies. They’re no different from a billboard company: they make almost all of their money from selling ads.

Apple made waves last summer when they announced that personalized ads would be opt-in with a soon-to-be released version of iOS (14.5 is due out in the next few weeks). Facebook embarked on a major PR campaign to say this would hurt small businesses. The truth, as even Facebook employees admit, is that the change will hurt Facebook.

Why all of this talk? Why now? Privacy is becoming the civil rights issue of the decade. Companies that we’ve never heard of scrape together our web habits, build out profiles and assumptions about us, and package that digital dossier for sale. Businesses buy that data, and reporting suggests, so are agencies of the United States government.

Most news articles state that some people like personalized ads. The idea is that these people like learning about relevant new products and services. In theory, perhaps yes, people like that do exist. The problem is how the data is gathered (without your consent), brokered (without you in the deal) and disseminated (to people you do not know).

Imagine someone following you around everywhere you go. At each stop, they take notes about what you did, who you spoke to, what you looked at, how long you lingered, and so on. If someone did this in the real world, they’d be charged with stalking. It happens in the digital world to all of us, every minute of every day.

Apple is doing something about it, great! Google, too! Well, as with all things Google, not really. They’re going to change the way they let third-party sites and apps track you. On their sites, they’re going to gobble you up. And it’s not just the search engine, it’s any web property that they own, like YouTube, Gmail, or Maps. Does this make you want to quit using your Fitbit yet?

The way that ads are served over the web may be changing, but it’s as important as always to analyze bias. Google, Facebook, and Twitter lose money unless they sell ads. They’re not going to let you go willingly.

New U.S. Airline Avelo Enters Competitive Travel Market - WSJ

Avelo and Breeze are the first new mainline airlines in the U.S. since 2007, when Virgin America was launched. A series of megamergers between 2008 and 2013 combined eight big carriers into four.

Good to see some new options.

Facebook Apologizes For Getting 533 Million Users' Personal Data Stolen Before They Could Sell It - The Babylon Bee

“Even though hackers got your data for nothing, we find all of you users to be valuable and special!” said Stone. “We’ll be sure not to give away your data for free next time.”

‘Biden Never Called For A Georgia Boycott,’ Says Jen Psaki As Biden Stands Right Behind Her Holding ‘Boycott Georgia’ Sign - The Babylon Bee

“We believe that voting should be so easy that it’s basically automatic,” continued the Press Secretary. “We don’t believe there should be literally any commitment or effort required to vote for your favorite Democrat candidate!”