That was a rough night.

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New Trump Social Media Site To Include Verification Badges For People Who Aren’t Losers And Total Disasters - The Babylon Bee

“It’s going to be an unbelievable experience for all of the supporters of everybody’s favorite president,” said Trump. “Never again will you be without my every thought.”

Air Force One Now Equipped With Handicap Parking Pass - The Babylon Bee

The President slipped because he was hit with a hurricane-force wind burst caused by global warming. There was also some, uh, fried chicken grease left over from the Trump administration that made the steps extra slippery.

Russia Confirms They Participated In 2020 Election After Constantly Hearing It Most Important Election Of Lifetime - The Onion

We were a little skeptical at first, because we remember getting involved in the 2016 election after people were calling that one the most important elections of our lifetimes, and it seems pretty weird that this could be true two elections in a row. But once we heard over and over and over again that this election would be a referendum on the soul of America, and that no one had a right to just sit at home and do nothing, we decided we ought to get involved. If we had to be honest, it was probably the 15,000th email from Nancy Pelosi that finally convinced us.

Christian Dutifully Prays For Her Enemies, But If God Wants To Smite Them, That’s Okay Too - The Babylon Bee

That means when people are unfair to me or say mean things to me online, I need to act with love and grace. Still, if God wants to start smiting those people with, like, thunder or maybe meteors… that’s up to Him. He’s His own boss.

Solid theology. See a heavy influence from Aquinas.

China’s Warning to Biden - WSJ

Mr. Yang added: “So we believe that it is important for the United States to change its own image and to stop advancing its own democracy in the rest of the world. Many people within the United States actually have little confidence in the democracy of the United States.” As we’ve noted, the Chinese like to echo the woke U.S. media critique of America.

Glad to see WSJ cited the quote to Yang. Otherwise, I might have misattributed it to Brian Stelter or Don Lemon.

Hospitals Hide Pricing Data From Search Results - WSJ

Hospitals that have published their previously confidential prices to comply with a new federal rule have also blocked that information from web searches with special coding embedded on their websites

Absolutely brilliant.

Apple ‘Surprised’ By Developer Frustration With Its App Review Process - MacRumors

Apple says that it’s “surprised to hear that developers have legitimate concerns about their ability to engage with Apple in the app review process”

And what is this “Android” you soeak of?

Celebrating 3 years without Twitter today.

Texas’ Blackouts Blew In on the Wind - WSJ

According to the nonprofit Texas Public Policy Foundation, for every 39 cents the oil-and-gas industry received in federal taxpayer subsidies from 2010 to 2019, the wind industry received $18.86, 48 times as much, and the solar industry received $82.46, 211 times as much.

Report: Most Popular Career Choice Now ‘Professional Stimulus Check Recipient’ - The Babylon Bee

While young adults considering their futures used to prefer more traditional roles like doctor, teacher, firefighter, or satire writer, a full 92% of those surveyed said they just want to stay home all day and wait for the government to send them a stimulus check.

Instead Of Traditional Warfare, Chinese Military Will Now Be Trained To Shout Wrong Pronouns At American Troops - The Babylon Bee

You can’t call me the wrong pronoun – it’s literally violence! It’s against the Geneva Convention!

An absolutely devastating development in the world of military tactics.

Putin Challenges Biden To Stair-Climbing Contest - The Babylon Bee

Well, thanks to Biden losing the stair contest, we are now part of Russia.

Bummer.

We sure made use of the first day of Spring!

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Family work day. 60 and sunny!

Left the lunch table to get dressed. Came back to find three year old holding my phone and laughing, “Hehehe take picture!”

Brian Regan: On the Rocks

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I had a joyful feast!