Disney Posts Job Ad Looking For Strong, Fierce Women Who Are Also Obedient, Submissive, And Docile - The Babylon Bee

“What did she expect after using her platform to stand for what she believes in? What does she think this is? A Disney movie?!”

Biden Orders Kung Pao Chicken During First Official Call With China - The Babylon Bee

Anonymous sources inside the White House say Biden is frustrated after waiting for over 12 hours for his order to show up, promising to “never order from China again.”

This is a common mistake for first time Chief Executives. Mexico never delivered Trump’s burrito and we all know how that ended.

Facebook Working on Smart Watch to Compete With Apple Watch - MacRumors

Facebook plans to sell the smart watch at close to its production cost

Heck, they’ll pay you to know every intimate detail about you!

Breaking: Apparently There’s An Impeachment Or Something - The Babylon Bee

we’re not really sure because no one is really paying attention to it and it looks pretty lame

Bernie Sanders Comes Out Against $15 Minimum Wage After Finding Out It Requires At Least An Hour’s Work - The Babylon Bee

Sanders has spent his 79 years on Earth avoiding any sort of work whatsoever, which is why he was disgusted when he found out the bill he had been fighting for was all about people having to do actual labor. “Can’t we just have billionaires do all the work and then give everyone else money?”

Progressive Pleased To Discover That Hell Has No Climate Change - The Babylon Bee

They will not, however, ever have to suffer the devastating effects of slow temperature fluctuations over the span of a century.

How Much Does a C-Section Cost? At One Hospital, Anywhere From $6,241 to $60,584. - WSJ

The rate the hospital charges depends on the insurance plan covering the birth. At the bottom end of the scale is a local health plan that serves largely Medicaid recipients. At the top are prices for women whose plans don’t have the San Francisco hospital in their insurers’ network.

This plan to force hospital disclosure on prices is basically meaningless. The United States has the most advanced healthcare system in the world, with the lion’s share of innovation and new pharmaceuticals available to patients. It isn’t outrageous that you go to providers and facilities that your insurance plan has contracts with through which costs can be controlled.

The main driver of healthcare spending isn’t different pricing for service depending on your insurance carrier. The main drivers are over-utilization and inappropriate use of points of care.

American obesity increased 12 points from 2000 - 2018 with the rate of morbid obesity nearly doubling over the same time period. That’s an area where we can make meaningful improvements for both patient outcomes and patient finances. If only we could get the 42.4% of obese adults to make better lifestyle decisions.

iOS 14.5 Beta Directs ‘Safe Browsing’ Traffic in Safari Through Apple Server Instead of Google to Protect Personal User Data - MacRumors

While Google doesn’t know which specific URL you’re trying to visit, it may collect your IP address during its interaction with Safari.

This is an important, and very good, move.

Google is not a technology company, they’re an advertising company. They primarily make money by collecting every possible point of data on you, build a profile, and then selling that profile to advertisers.

Even if you don’t have an account with them, a process that makes this transaction much easier for them, they still want to profile you. Every free service is merely a means for them to collect and sell data.

By chipping away, one by one, at their lines of attack, it becomes possible for you to experience the free Internet once again.

Impeachment Sequel To Go Straight To DVD - The Babylon Bee

Due to budgetary concerns and lack of interest, the movie will skip theatres and go straight to home video.

Children only sleep in on days when you have somewhere that you need to be.

Why Democrats Want a Trump Trial - WSJ

Mr. Trump’s electoral defeats are a more compelling rebuke than a partisan ban by Congress.

Strong, strong agree.

The irony of this trial is that Republicans would like to move on to debating Mr. Biden’s agenda, but Democrats can’t let Mr. Trump go.

For Some Single Women, Pandemic Means Rethinking Route to Motherhood - WSJ

“I began looking into ways I could take control of my fertility, without a man.” She booked a consultation at a fertility clinic and plans to freeze her eggs this spring.

The need for cogent, easily comprehensible and accessible bioethics has never been greater.

CDC: ‘Just Because You Got The Vaccine Doesn’t Mean You Should Go Outside Or Ever Experience Joy Again’ - The Babylon Bee

We noticed people were getting the vaccine and then just assuming because vaccines are designed to make people immune to viruses that they are immune to the virus. Then, they were doing crazy things like going outside, interacting with other people, and being happy.

I love on Internet forums when people reply to dormant threads over four years after the original post.

Ready for the Polar Vortex. ❄️

Conservatives Sit Down For A Relaxing Evening Of Being Insulted By Every Major Corporation In America - The Babylon Bee

According to sources, millions of Americans are looking forward to taking a much-needed break from scolding about masks, social justice, immigration, and toxic masculinity to be scolded about all of those things while watching a really fun football game.

Woke Capital’s Political Warning - WSJ

The collapse came not among Democrats, whose skeptical views were virtually unchanged, but among Republicans.

Interesting. All of their donations, photo filters, and corporate activism on behalf of progressive movements curried them no favor from the beneficiaries. At the same time, those actions alienated them from their traditional base of support.

The left hates them for being successful and the right hates them for throwing cultural issues in their faces 24/7.

Afternoon walk.