Chet Collins

All is calm, all is bright. 🕯

The Santa Clause

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Apple’s New Privacy-Focused Tracking Prompt Begins Appearing for iOS 14 Users [Updated] - MacRumors

iOS 14.4 should be publicly released in January or February

.4 versions too late.

Trump Campaign Demands Stimulus Of 8 Million Votes - The Babylon Bee

If Trump’s idea is passed, each American will get 8 million votes for them to be president, evenly distributed among the 50 states. This vote stimulus will be means-tested, though – anyone who already has 80 million or more votes to be president won’t receive any vote stimulus.

Satire that cuts against two subjects. Brilliant!

Jupiter And Saturn Fined For Not Obeying Social Distancing - The Babylon Bee

The U.S. Government has tasked Space Force with collecting the fine from these two planets. The mission is expected to cost 3.2 Trillion dollars, which is the equivalent of about twelve $600 stimulus checks.

Clever American Disguises Self As Transgender Middle Easterner In Hopes Of Receiving More COVID Aid - The Babylon Bee

Other Americans are working hard to snag some of that sweet government cash by disguising themselves as art galleries, bridge projects, and Asian carp fishermen.

Trump’s Parting Shot: A Bigger Navy? - WSJ

The Pentagon has been debating and studying how to expand the fleet, and the Trump plan suggests underwriting more than 80 ships over five years at a cost of $147 billion.

How wasteful is the $900B stimulus?

We can grow our Navy by 80 ships and still have $733B (81.5%) to spare!

The long-term governmental payroll support for tens of thousands of airline jobs that no longer exist is malpractice at the highest level.

God Compensates Job With $600 Stimulus Check - The Babylon Bee

“I pretty much lost everything,” Job said. “My kids, my home, my livestock, my health, my livelihood. I lost all of it. But finding out that I’ll get $600 is pretty exciting.”

I published my 800th post on Catholic Husband this morning. Will end the year with 52 posts published in 2020.

Glad to see this project going after nearly 8 years.

Congress Finally Reaches Stimulus Agreement: Every American Will Receive A Coupon For $5 Off At Applebee’s - The Babylon Bee

In addition to bailouts, money for pet projects, and payouts to unions, Congress has authorized a very special $5 off coupon to Applebee’s.

I prefer Chili’s.

Got the last box unpacked.

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Apple wants you to believe that they are a great, moral company. Simply not true. Dozens of gifs of Trump, even some of him in drag. Zero of Xi Jinping.

If they bowed any further to China, they’d lose their balance and fall over.

Report: LeBron James To Be Appointed As Ambassador To China - The Babylon Bee

Colin Kaepernick was also floated but ultimately didn’t get picked.

Boom, roasted!

Infographic: The Journalists’ Guide To Reporting On Politicians - The Babylon Bee

researchers say they are close to making a breakthrough on triple standards

Infographics by the Bee are always great.

Experts Warn Further Lockdowns Could Result In More Taylor Swift Albums - The Babylon Bee

“The data is clear: we must end the lockdowns to prevent this from happening.”

Agree.

It’s a two cup of coffee kind of day.

☕️

Dad Excited To See What He Got His Kids For Christmas - The Babylon Bee

“Oh man, I hope it’s a LEGO set,” he said as he shook a box under the tree labeled “To: Aiden, From: Dad.”