Nation That Hasn’t Been To Church In Eight Months Not Sure Why Everybody’s So Anxious And Worried - The Babylon Bee

A survey of Evangelicals showed that 92% of them would be willing to hug a church greeter while singing “Good Good Father” if it meant going back to normal services again.

Even robots need to rest.

Student Loan Losses Seen Costing U.S. More Than $400 Billion - WSJ

The government lends more than $100 billion each year to students to cover tuition at more than 6,000 colleges and universities. It ignores factors such as credit scores and field of study, and it doesn’t analyze whether students will earn enough after graduating to cover their debt.

What could go wrong?

Airbnb Executive Resigned Last Year Over Chinese Request for More Data Sharing - WSJ

Mr. Joyce believed most people using the platform weren’t aware of the extent of the data shared, which included phone numbers, email addresses and messages between users and the company

Trump Appears To Doubting Tucker And Lets Him Touch The Fraudulent Ballots Himself - The Babylon Bee

Trump smiled and patted Carlson on the head. “You have seen the evidence and believed, but blessed are those who have believed the election was rigged without seeing any evidence. They are tremendous people, the best, really.”

Tiny paw.

‘We Must Cancel Thanksgiving,’ Says CDC Scientist Who Looks Suspiciously Like A Turkey In A Lab Coat - The Babylon Bee

“We must cancel Thanksgiving this year. It is completely off the table,” the scientist, Dr. Peck N. Gobble, said.

My children are masters of independent play. The morning hours that they spend happily exploring, dreaming, and using their imaginations are delightful.

🧸

Got an email from Instagram about new terms. Thought I deleted my account? Oops, guess I missed one. Fixed.

Modern manna.

Bernie Sanders Confused After U.S. Beats Cuba To Producing COVID Vaccine - The Babylon Bee

North Korea claims they have had a vaccine for years but they don’t even need it because people never get sick there.

Hard-Working Plumber Looking Forward To Paying For His Neighbor’s Gender Studies Degree - The Babylon Bee

successful Americans around the country are really looking forward to paying taxes to relieve the debt of people who purchased expensive yet useless college degrees.

Trump Signs Executive Order To Double Debt Of Journalism Students - The Babylon Bee

This move is expected to hit journalism schools especially hard, as journalism was already a fairly useless major, and now it will cost twice as much. The executive order also promises to be a big blow to journalists themselves, as they don’t make a lot of money since a lot of people do their job for free online.

App Store Fee Cut Attracts Criticism From Major Developers Like Spotify and Epic - MacRumors

The research, cited by The New York Times, states that the ‌App Store‌ fee change “will affect roughly 98 percent of the companies that pay Apple a commission… But those developers accounted for less than 5 percent of ‌App Store‌ revenues last year…” This means that Apple is retaining its 30 percent commission on the two percent of companies that generate 95 percent of its ‌App Store‌ revenue.

Boeing 737 MAX Cleared to Fly Again, but Covid-19 Has Sapped Demand - WSJ

Executives at Boeing have said they expect to deliver about half of its inventory of about 450 built MAXs by the end of next year, and the majority of those remaining the following year.

They’re not getting those parking lots back anytime soon.

Pfizer Says Vaccine Is 95% Effective in Final Data, Will Seek Authorization - WSJ

Out of 170 adult volunteers in the nearly 44,000-subject trial who developed Covid-19 with at least one symptom, 162 received a placebo, while eight got the vaccine, Pfizer and BioNTech said.

Remarkable.

Hundreds of Companies That Got Stimulus Aid Have Failed - WSJ

Mr. Clark put Waterford into chapter 7 bankruptcy to repay creditors by selling the company’s assets. Because he personally guaranteed a $1.5 million loan from the Small Business Administration last year, Mr. Clark, 68, expects to file for personal bankruptcy and auction off his home to pay creditors. “We all blame President Trump for his dereliction of duty; we would have been able to stay in business if he had done his job,” Mr. Clark said.

Taking out a personally guaranteed loan of $1.5 million is what put this guy out of business. Market downturns happen all of the time, if not the pandemic it would’ve been something else.

UPS is surprisingly competitive on pricing.

📦

Covered bridge.