Chet Collins

Abolish Daylight Saving Time.

Big week! Our Nation gets to choose its destiny for the next four years.

Regardless of the outcome, remember that it’s far more important what happens in your house than what happens in the White House.

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Business Owners Boarding Up In Case Party Of Love And Tolerance Loses - The Babylon Bee

“We just want to make sure our businesses will be safe from the sudden outpouring of peace, love, and tolerance,” said one frightened business owner in Los Angeles as he frantically boarded up his hookah lounge. “You know, too much peace can sometimes intensify and end up destroying millions of dollars of property. You know, from all the peace.”

2020 is the perfect year to use the YNAB Fresh Start option.

Blessed Fr. Michael J. McGivney

Pray for Us

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Ex-Inmates Struggle in a Banking System Not Made for Them - WSJ

The criminal-justice system creates a host of fines and fees for both the guilty and the merely accused.

The costs imposed on accused and then acquitted individuals, or even indicted persons who have their charges dropped, is troubling. The State should be required to pick up the tab in those cases. Loser pays court costs.

ACB Hangs Up Sticker Chart To Help The Justices Remember Their Daily Chores - The Babylon Bee

Only a few days after her confirmation to the Supreme Court, Justice Amy Coney Barrett is already making much-needed changes to a messy and undisciplined group of 9 justices. Today, the young and energetic mother of seven children hung up a chore chart on the wall behind the bench to help organize important tasks such as cleaning, ironing, and writing dissenting opinions.

Chelsea Handler Patrols Polling Places To Make Sure No Black People Are Voting For Trump - The Babylon Bee

“Do I need to remind you that you’re a black person? You can’t vote for Trump, black person! Don’t you know he’s a racist and you’re an idiot if you vote for him as a black person?”

Good thing her show was canceled! Now she has the time to perform this civic service.

Democrats Hand Out Extra Ballots To Trick-Or-Treaters - The Babylon Bee

“Hey, kids! Have you or your parents voted for Joe Biden yet?” Frump said to a witch, an Iron Man, and a mermaid at his door. “Here, take these ballots I have filled out for you. Put your parent’s name or the name of a dead relative at the top and send them in!”

The anonymous ‘senior’ Trump official hyped by the New York Times is just some bureaucrat you’ve never heard of

it is important to note that Taylor was not even the DHS Chief of Staff when his article published in 2018. Yet the New York Times billed him anyway as a “senior official in the Trump administration," which is an awfully generous way to describe an obscure, mid-level staffer.

The overly generous use of anonymous sources is sure to have a chilling effect in the future. People just won’t take them seriously because every random nobody has been granted it.

Had Taylor put his actual name on that 2018 op-ed, the reaction from the public would have been the same as it is today — a resounding, “Who?” The New York Times surely realized this as well. Putting Taylor’s name on the story is not nearly as sexy as teasing readers with the belief that someone high up in the White House food chain was working as a double agent, a misconception the New York Times absolutely encouraged.

Twitter’s Censorship Method - WSJ

The dazed-looking Mr. Dorsey gave the impression he could not care less about his company’s abuse.

He doesn’t care at all. In fact, his company’s arbitrary policies suit him. If there was ever a temptation for me to rejoin the platform, this performance quashed it. I just don’t do business with companies like Twitter.

Anonymous Top-Level White House Official Revealed To Be Jussie Smollett - The Babylon Bee

“Mr. Smollett approached us with this anonymous report from inside the White House, and we felt we had a duty to relay his story to the American people,” said a New York Times editor. “We still believe the characterization of Mr. Smollett as a senior, top-level, super-important official in the Trump administration was accurate.”

Terrific burn.

Vote for Joe Biden? Seriously? - WSJ

Forgotten by many voters is that back in mid-February, after losing in Iowa and New Hampshire, it looked as if former Vice President Biden’s listless campaign would become his third failed attempt at the presidency.

C’mon man! He got 8.4% of the Democratic vote in New Hampshire!

Twitter: gross.

New York Governor Demands Accountability For Whoever Is Mismanaging New York - The Babylon Bee

“Whoever is running this state into the ground must be held accountable for their terrible mismanagement! I promise to get to the bottom of this because I am a fantastic leader," he said while holding up a copy of his latest leadership book: American Crisis. 

We Were Warned: SCOTUS Rules 6-3 That Voting For Biden Is Unconstitutional - The Babylon Bee

According to secret anonymous sources, ACB was overheard saying to a friend: “Yeah, it’s unconstitutional to vote for Joe Biden, mainly because he’s a commie. Also, the constitution doesn’t mention the name ‘Joe Biden’ anywhere which means he’s not eligible to become president because I’m an originalist and that’s totally how originalism works.” According to the unnamed sources, she then turned to a colleague and said, “I hate women!”

How could we have been so stupid?

Modern kids television programming is mostly garbage.

I’ve been stocking up on classic kids television: The Jetsons, The Pink Panther Show, Secret Squirrel, and Bugs Bunny. They love it!

Saving Private Biden - WSJ

The best summary of the new standard in election coverage was given by Mark Hemingway of RealClearInvestigations. After a particularly fawning news conference, he relayed the assessment of a friend: Watching the press handle Joe Biden is “like watching someone make sure a 3 year old wins Candyland.”

Democracy dies in darkness.