Chet Collins

Scientists Discover Tea Tastes Best When Dumped Out And Replaced With Coffee - The Babylon Bee

“Mmmm! Tastes great!” said Dr. Bean Yuban. “We finally cracked the code.”

Biden Assures America That The Buck Stops With Putin - The Babylon Bee

Economic expert and TikTok makeup tutorial influencer Ellie Zeiler concurs with the President’s assessment. “All this bad stuff has nothing to do with bad energy policy, bad foreign policy, bad economic policy, or bad monetary policy,” she said, reading the script given to her by Biden’s propaganda czar. “It’s all, like, Putin’s fault and stuff.”

Russia Imposes Sanctions on Biden, Other Top U.S. Officials - WSJ

and White House press secretary Jen Psaki.

Does she have to give back her pink fuzzy hat?

The Price of Biden’s Excuses for Inflation Keeps Rising - WSJ Opinion

In that same speech, to the House Democratic Caucus Issues Conference, he bemoaned that all his hard work doesn’t get the respect it deserves. “The American people just trying to stay above water don’t understand this. You tell them what the American Recovery Act was, and they look at you like, ‘What are you talking about?’”

Crisis for Biden’s Chaotic Foreign Policy - WSJ Opinion

Mr. Biden’s climate agenda has collapsed into utter incoherence. As the administration frantically hunts for oil and gas world-wide, it is throwing both climate and human-rights scruples overboard—so far, to little effect. Efforts to cultivate the Maduro dictatorship in Venezuela have produced blowback in Congress. Saudi Arabia demonstrated its contempt for Team Biden by following its rejection of the administration’s plea to pump more oil with the largest mass execution in its history. Not to be outdone, Iran launched a series of missile attacks on what it claimed were Israeli targets in the Kurdish region of Iraq. China capped a disastrous climate weekend by announcing plans to expand domestic coal mining by 300 million tons a year and to build a 620-million-ton coal reserve.

Joe Manchin Makes the Right Call by Opposing Sarah Bloom Raskin for the Federal Reserve - WSJ Opinion

Ms. Raskin told the Senate she won’t use her powers against any industry, but her public record is clear. In June 2020, she wrote that financial regulators must “do all they can—which turns out to be a lot—to bring about the adoption of practices and policies that will allocate capital and align portfolios toward sustainable investments that do not depend on carbon and fossil fuels.”

iOS 15.4 Is Here: Unlock Your iPhone With a Mask On, Hear Siri’s New Voice - WSJ

Realizing that all of that isn’t what people really want, Apple finally releases an update that lets you unlock Face ID while wearing a mask. No password punch-in needed. Just, you know, two years too late.

And USPS says they’ll deliver those free COVID tests you ordered tomorrow.

Sen. Joe Manchin Signals Opposition to Sarah Bloom Raskin for Fed Post - WSJ

A White House official said the administration is still working to line up bipartisan support for her, saying Ms. Raskin has been the target of an “unprecedented, baseless campaign led by oil and gas companies that sought to tarnish her distinguished career.”

Completely baseless! They’re only using her direct quotes!

Obama Receives Nobel Prize In Medicine For Getting COVID - The Babylon Bee

He has already begun a new COVID memoir, which has already been selected for a Pulitzer Prize.