Chet Collins

CNN’s Ratings Collapse As Coronavirus Fears Empty American Airports - The Babylon Bee

With airports completely devoid of weary travelers with dead smartphones and nothing to look at but CNN, the core of the channel’s audience has disappeared overnight.

It’s great to know that private industry, including Google, are joining the fight. All of those competitors on stage was a powerful message.

I hope that there’s transparency around the data that Google will collect/retain/use on the national Covid-19 screening website.

There’s something comforting about this White House press conference in the Rose Garden with the cherry blossoms in full bloom.

Even in uncertainty, life goes on. 🌸

Weber Grill is an amazing company.

Drug Cartels Switch To Producing Hand Sanitizer - The Babylon Bee

Drug cartels are quickly converting their assembly lines to pump out more and more of the hand sanitizer, saying Americans across the border “can’t get enough” of the addictive substance.

Bernie: ‘We Must Seize The Means Of Toilet Paper Production’ - The Babylon Bee

Sanders criticized the free market for having so much prosperity and toilet paper that people could run out and purchase hundreds of rolls they don’t even need on a whim.

Today was absolutely bonkers.

My kids literally only sleep in on days when we have somewhere to be. 🛌

Nation’s Nerds Wake Up In Utopia Where Everyone Stays Inside, Sports Are Canceled, Social Interaction Forbidden - The Babylon Bee

All types of nerds, from social introverts to hardcore PC gamers, welcomed the dawn of this new era, privately from their own homes.

NBA Suspends Season Due to Coronavirus - WSJ

Only two days earlier, in an attempt to poke fun at NBA restrictions that kept players at a safe distance from reporters in media availability sessions, Gobert went out of his way to touch every microphone and recording device in front of him with both hands.

Stay classy.

GoldenEye 🍿

The reports from those who self-quarantine all seem to point towards boredom. Might be a good idea for me to pull together a list of projects that I’d like to finish in the event I have to stay home for two weeks.

The 2020 Democratic theme of “vote Blue, no matter who" reminds me of the 2012 Republican “anyone but Obama." That uninspired message failed to resonate.

Political parties need to offer voters something substantive, not just an ad hominem argument.

Trump Instructs Aides To Turn Stock Market Chart Upside Down - The Babylon Bee

Trump is also requesting that all time-lapse videos demonstrating the spread of Coronavirus simply be played in reverse to show how it’s now being eradicated.

Podiums At Next Debate To Be Equipped With Life Alert Buttons - The Babylon Bee

“Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t rebut!”

The Apple Pencil 2 is excellent.

Putin Backs Proposal Paving Way for New Presidential Term - WSJ

The Russian parliament on Tuesday adopted a proposal that would reset Mr. Putin’s presidential term count, allowing him to run again in 2024, when he is required by constitution to stand down

Why even have laws?