Chet Collins

Study: Crows Intelligent Enough To Steal Trinkets, But Foolish Enough To Think Material Goods Will Solve Problems - The Onion

Goertz revealed that their findings had also indicated several species of crow were capable of mimicking human speech without understanding that sometimes it’s best to just sit back and listen.

Trump Props Up Trapper Keeper Around Campaign Plan To Prevent Kamala From Copying - Babylon Bee

According to sources, a representative from the Federal Election Commission (FEC) gave Harris a stern warning and told her to get back to work. Kamala Harris’s eyes darted quickly back to her notes — a blank piece of paper with the heading “My Presidential Plan” written at the top.

Kamala Explains 93% Of Staff Quit Because They Couldn’t Handle The Joy - Babylon Bee

“They quit because they are literally overdosing on joy,” Harris explained. “Almost no one on earth can stand being around this much joy for more than a few weeks. It’s my cross to bear.”

Philosopher’s Friends Constantly Pitching Him Ideas For Dilemmas - The Onion

Honestly, everybody thinks they can be a philosopher, but just because something metaphysically resonant happened to you doesn’t mean it would make a good dilemma.

The goal of evil is to divide, separate, isolate, shame, destroy.

The goal of Christ is to heal and unite, to harmonize in love.

And that’s the great battle that’s always underway.

- Fr. Boniface Hicks, OSB

I’m ‘bout to have a good day.

My favorite morning sky.

The End Of His Prime: This Man No Longer Has The Fertile Imagination And Boundless Creative Energy To Build His Own Subway Sandwich And Has To Order From The Regular Menu - Clickhole

“Let’s face it, building your own sandwich is a young man’s game, and I’m just not young anymore.”