When you’re on a deadline and the kids decide to pitch in.

Trump Bombed Iran. Here’s How 12 Media Outlets Covered The Story - Babylon Bee

The Babylon Bee — Iranian Nuclear Facility Escapes Bombing By Identifying As Mar A Lago (That’s Right We Just Have The One Joke)

Trump Meets the Moment on Iran - WSJ Opinion

Mr. Trump gave Iran every chance to resolve this peacefully. The regime flouted his 60-day deadline to make a deal. Then Israel attacked, destroying much of the nuclear program and achieving air supremacy, and still the President gave Iran another chance to come to terms. The regime wouldn’t even abandon domestic uranium enrichment. Ayatollah Ali Khamenei wanted a bomb more than peace.

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Much of the press has fixated on the idea that Mr. Trump has now joined or even started a conflict. But Iran has been waging regional and terrorist war for decades. It’s as likely that he has helped end it. Leaving Iran with a hardened nuclear enrichment facility after an Israeli military campaign would have been a recipe for maximum danger, all but asking Iran to sprint to a bomb.

What Are The Deeply Buried Sins In Your Heart You Need Jesus To Drop A Bunker Buster On? - Op-Ed By Chet Skatington - Babylon Bee

When you see that B-2 stealth bomber flying over Tehran, I want you to think - what if Jesus was piloting that?

Trump Organization Launches Trump Mobile Cell Phone Service - The Onion

“Sorry, I’m locked in a two-year cell contract with Kim Jong-Un.”

I see now that Jesus first strengthens my soul and makes it capable of abiding with Him, for otherwise I would not be able to bear what I experience at such a moment.

St. Faustina, Notebook II, Entry 566

You saw my condition Had a plan from the start Your Son for redemption The price for my heart I don’t have a context For that kind of love I don’t understand I can’t comprehend All I know is I need You

Matt Maher

Israel Takes Control of Iran’s Skies—a Feat That Still Eludes Russia in Ukraine - WSJ

“Basically, what Israel did with Iran is what Russia wanted to do with Ukraine: They thought they could pull off some cloak-and-dagger thing, and infiltrate and decapitate the Ukrainian regime,” said Michael Horowitz, an Israeli geopolitical analyst. “But it turned out that the Ukrainian society has a resilience and cannot be so easily penetrated—whereas when it comes to Iran, the regime is so unpopular that it’s easy to find people there who will agree to work with Israel.”

Do You Have Experience In Nuclear Engineering? Check Out These Exciting New Job Openings In Iran - Babylon Bee

Suddenly and without warning, multiple exciting positions in the field of nuclear energy research became available, creating opportunities for experienced engineers to step in and start working immediately.

The Phantom Tollbooth

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Israelites Protest Prophet Samuel With ‘Yes Kings’ Rally - Babylon Bee

“We don’t want to live in freedom!” said one marching Benjamite. “We keep looking at all the other nations around us and the way they have a person bossing them around and living in opulent luxury while everyone else toils endlessly to funnel wealth to the royal family, and we wish that could be us. We don’t want liberty, give us oppression!”

LEGO Sneaky Sasquatch

Amazon Teases Next James Bond Will Face Off Against Threat Of Collective Bargaining - The Onion

With a new contract looming, 007 must do everything in his power to prevent workers across the globe from unionizing, bargaining, and possibly even striking against their generous employers.

You called, you shouted, and you broke through my deafness. You flashed, you shone, and you dispelled my blindness. You breathed your fragrance on me; I drew in breath and now I pant for you. I have tasted you, now I hunger and thirst for more.

St. Augustine

Love letter from my daughter this morning.

Project Manager: I need a carpet material that is extremely cheap and it must hold on to dirt and hair forever.

Automotive Enginner: Hold my beer.

Banana.

Time to get moving.

Trump Responds To Putin’s Charge Of Him Being Emotional With An All-Caps Tweet - Babylon Bee

At publishing time, sources said that President Trump had last been seen writing “HOW’S THIS FOR EMOTIONAL?” with a Sharpie marker on bombs before ordering preparations to be made for an airstrike on Moscow.