Return To Normal: Texas Announces They Will Go Back To Shooting People Wearing Masks On The Assumption They’re Stagecoach Robbers - The Babylon Bee

Despite Texas having a growing tech sector, the state is still primarily a stagecoach-based economy, with most people in the state making a living from either driving or robbing stagecoaches. The pandemic, with its proliferation of masks, has very much disrupted that industry, and most are happy to have a timeline for things getting back to normal.

Google announced with great fanfare that they’re going to stop selling ads based on individuals and instead will group users into cohorts for ad targeting. That’s great! Or is it?

It’s important to remember that Google, Facebook, Twitter, and their friends are not technology companies. They’re advertising companies. They’re no different from a billboard company: they make almost all of their money from selling ads.

Apple made waves last summer when they announced that personalized ads would be opt-in with a soon-to-be released version of iOS (14.5 is due out in the next few weeks). Facebook embarked on a major PR campaign to say this would hurt small businesses. The truth, as even Facebook employees admit, is that the change will hurt Facebook.

Why all of this talk? Why now? Privacy is becoming the civil rights issue of the decade. Companies that we’ve never heard of scrape together our web habits, build out profiles and assumptions about us, and package that digital dossier for sale. Businesses buy that data, and reporting suggests, so are agencies of the United States government.

Most news articles state that some people like personalized ads. The idea is that these people like learning about relevant new products and services. In theory, perhaps yes, people like that do exist. The problem is how the data is gathered (without your consent), brokered (without you in the deal) and disseminated (to people you do not know).

Imagine someone following you around everywhere you go. At each stop, they take notes about what you did, who you spoke to, what you looked at, how long you lingered, and so on. If someone did this in the real world, they’d be charged with stalking. It happens in the digital world to all of us, every minute of every day.

Apple is doing something about it, great! Google, too! Well, as with all things Google, not really. They’re going to change the way they let third-party sites and apps track you. On their sites, they’re going to gobble you up. And it’s not just the search engine, it’s any web property that they own, like YouTube, Gmail, or Maps. Does this make you want to quit using your Fitbit yet?

The way that ads are served over the web may be changing, but it’s as important as always to analyze bias. Google, Facebook, and Twitter lose money unless they sell ads. They’re not going to let you go willingly.

New U.S. Airline Avelo Enters Competitive Travel Market - WSJ

Avelo and Breeze are the first new mainline airlines in the U.S. since 2007, when Virgin America was launched. A series of megamergers between 2008 and 2013 combined eight big carriers into four.

Good to see some new options.

Facebook Apologizes For Getting 533 Million Users' Personal Data Stolen Before They Could Sell It - The Babylon Bee

“Even though hackers got your data for nothing, we find all of you users to be valuable and special!” said Stone. “We’ll be sure not to give away your data for free next time.”

‘Biden Never Called For A Georgia Boycott,’ Says Jen Psaki As Biden Stands Right Behind Her Holding ‘Boycott Georgia’ Sign - The Babylon Bee

“We believe that voting should be so easy that it’s basically automatic,” continued the Press Secretary. “We don’t believe there should be literally any commitment or effort required to vote for your favorite Democrat candidate!”

NASA Ends Mars Mission After Finding Out Planet Has No Early Voting - The Babylon Bee

Mars had been controversial as a target for exploration from the onset since it is a red planet. NASA is now instead setting its sights on a blue planet, Uranus, and plans to make all future missions there.

Google’s Free Piracy Pass - WSJ

Google’s strategy was to use “Android as a vehicle to collect data on consumers and deliver behavioral ads”—raking in huge profits.

All-Star Game Moved From Atlanta To Uyghur Prison Camp Yard - The Babylon Bee

the game will be limited to just three extra innings, as Disney needs the space immediately after to film a documentary on Georgia’s bad voting laws.

Jesus Criticized For Leaving His Face Covering Behind In The Tomb The Babylon Bee

“Yeah we know he’s immune to death and all that, but he could at least set an example by responsibly wearing his protective face covering,” said King Herod in an op-ed published in the Jerusalem Gazette.

The Biden Baseball League - WSJ Opinion

The MLB excuse is that Georgia’s elected Legislature passed, and Gov. Brian Kemp signed, an election reform law that leaves the state with more opportunities to vote than Delaware and New York.

Let the hunt begin!

He is not here!

🌷🌅

What the U.S. Can Learn From China’s Infatuation With Infrastructure - WSJ

The Washington-based Institute of International Finance puts Chinese debt at 335% of GDP, up from 200% in 2011.

What a decade!

The Vaccine Jobs Boom Arrives - WSJ Opinion

The Biden Administration wants to sustain an aura of crisis to justify its spend-and-tax plans. But the March jobs report shows the economic crisis is over. The American people are getting back to work, and Congress should get out of the way.

Shrink Your Student Loans, Invest in Bitcoin: Credit Card Points Get Creative - WSJ

Fintech startup Social Finance Inc. in March launched a credit card that provides up to 2% cash back, which can be converted to pay down student loans that cardholders have with the company, among other things.

WOW! If you spend $2,000 a month, you can get $40 to pay down your relatively low-interest student loans while, at the same time, the average user is likely to have increased their credit card debt at 14% interest! WHAT A DEAL!!!!!!

Synchrony Financial, the largest U.S. issuer of store credit cards, in April will allow customers who have its co-branded credit card geared at health and wellness expenses the option to redeem their points toward newly planted trees.

Borrow from us at 14% and we’ll plant a tree for you!

Corporate America’s ‘Big Lie’ - WSJ

Corporate CEOs may think this virtue signaling will spare them the left’s boycotts or Democrats’ punitive legislative measures. That’s a sucker’s bet given this week’s Democratic plan to siphon $2.3 trillion from corporations to fund new spending. Meanwhile, longtime Republican defenders of corporate activity are rapidly losing interest in aiding CEOs who promote partisan conspiracy theories. Witness Sen. Marco Rubio’s fuming tweet on Thursday calling Delta a “woke corporate hypocrite,” noting that the company is “business partners with the Chinese Communist Party,” raking in “billions of dollars in a country that doesn’t even have elections.”

Facebook’s Algorithm Powers What You See. Here Are New Tools to Give You Some Control. - WSJ

Except, as I argued in January, it’s hard to accept just how little we control our social-media feeds and the algorithms that power them.

Then why do you still have an account, Joanna?

Georgia Hangs Up ‘Welcome To Beijing’ Signs To Trick Liberal Companies Into Staying - The Babylon Bee

“When these Hollywood companies, airlines, and baseball leagues see that we’re actually just the capital of a country that throws its citizens into concentration camps, murders journalists, and oppresses women and children, they’ll love doing business here.”

MLB Games To No Longer Require ID For Buying Alcoholic Beverages - The Babylon Bee

“Not everyone has the same level of access to acquiring an ID and we want to create an inclusive environment.”