Nice day to strop some knives.

The miniaturization of SSDs is truly remarkable.

Biden’s Executive Orders Signal Collision Course With GOP - WSJ

By Friday, Mr. Biden had issued at least 29 executive orders and actions. In contrast, then-President Barack Obama issued five and Mr. Trump issued one in their first three days in office.

Biden Tells Freezing Troops Sleeping In Garages To Be Patient Until He Can Get Them Shipped To Iraq - The Babylon Bee

“Listen, ya bunch of dumb pony soldiers,” said Biden to a line of 3,000 soldiers waiting to use the bathroom. “I know you people are much better use to me when you’re fighting some war in the Middle East. Hooah! Am I right?”

Archaeologists Uncover Separate Team Of Archaeologists Digging Towards Them From Other Side Of Globe - The Onion

“While our initial assumption was that we had stumbled on the previously unknown descendants of some ancient race of upside-down people, it turns out that this was a group of Canadian and Chinese archaeologists who had dug through the center of the Earth from a site in Mongolia,” said lead archaeologist Denise Mendoza

15 Ways To Cope When You Don’t Like The President - The Babylon Bee

It can be tough to live in a country where you don’t like the president. Luckily, our friends on the Left have shown us how to handle this situation with grace and class over the past four years. Here are 15 easy ways to cope when you don’t like the president:

These are perhaps the greatest mirror ever held up to society.

2. Accuse him of colluding with a foreign adversary with no evidence while sleeping with a Chinese spy.

Maybe he wasn’t sleeping with her, but the irony is rich.

4. Riot in every major city, set fires, and loot for weeks on end for like 6 months going strong - but whatever you do, DO NOT riot at the Capitol or you’re a traitor.

I’ll always remember the Summer of Love!

12. Research every actor and musician to make sure they all align perfectly with everything you believe before enjoying any of their art.

The Biden presidency will tell the story of Catholicism in America - Washington Examiner

Where non-Biden-supporting Catholics point to abortion and the contraception mandate, pro-Biden Catholics point to his opposition to the death penalty (see the development of the church’s teaching here) and support for just treatment of refugees and the poor.

A sad comment on the understanding of Catholicism. The Church has never taught that abortion is permissible, and yet, under the guise of peity and fidelity, Catholics publicly turn a blind eye to the greatest moral evil of our time by setting up a false dichotomy.

Spotted at the end of play time.

White House Press Corps Wears New Cheerleading Uniforms To Press Briefing - The Babylon Bee

“We will continue to go after the president like we always have– wait… Joe Biden is coming! EEEEEEEEEEE!” Acosta then began to jump up and down, shaking his pom-poms.

Funny and morally true.

If Corporate Diversity Works, Show Me the Money - WSJ

The most powerful argument against a board diversity requirement is that if it were manifestly good for companies, there would be no need for it in the first place. Successful companies can’t keep secrets quiet for long; if one could reliably increase its market capitalization by, say, 5% through the appointment of a diverse board, every company on Nasdaq would already meet that standard.

Joe Biden’s Super State - WSJ

If government at so many levels can’t do something this straightforward—two injections—what can it do?

Biden Signs Executive Orders on Face-Mask Mandate, Keystone Pipeline, Paris Accord - WSJ

Mr. Biden signed 15 executive orders and two executive actions on his first day in office, far more than any of his modern predecessors, none of whom signed more than one. President Trump signed an order on his inauguration day aimed at reversing the Affordable Care Act, while Barack Obama didn’t sign any on Jan. 20, 2009. Bill Clinton signed an ethics order on his first day. All of them signed additional orders during their first week in office.

Executive Orders used so broadly siphons off power from the Legislative Branch and removes the voice of the electorate from the process. Congress really ought to be more jealous after 12 years of this behavior.

Secret Service Agent Heroically Dives In Front Of Strong Breeze That Could Have Killed Biden

Cole, who appeared completely unscathed by a direct hit to the chest from a breeze that came within inches of Biden and might have caused the president to lose his balance and fall, potentially breaking a hip or suffering a stroke from which he would never recover.

Net Neutrality and Big Tech’s Speech Hypocrisy - WSJ

Facebook and Twitter turned out to be more threatening than under threat. Broadband providers haven’t attempted to block content or competitors since the FCC repealed net neutrality. But social media, app stores and cloud providers, which were never subject to the rules, all have engaged in censorship repeatedly in recent weeks.

MLB Beginning To Suspect Pirates Just A Mob Front

“It must be some kind of money-laundering operation, because they’re clearly doing the bare minimum to keep that place open,” said Commissioner Rob Manfred

At this point, it’s just embarrassing how hard it is to move Apple Watches between phones.