Pence Rolls Out Ambitious Agenda For First 100 Minutes In Office - The Babylon Bee

10:57 to 11:00 - Take time out to spend with family, rekindle marriage

It will be an incredibly consequential presidency.

Beautiful evening.

There are no good options for fixing the Student Loan Program, but there is a not-as-bad option.

A single program, 0% interest, with lifetime maximums per degree type (undergrad/grad/professional). No forgiveness: you pay back every penny you take out.

The government supports education by taking a loss on interest, and schools have to reign in costs to fit degrees to the program caps.

Trump Praised For Accepting Election Results 4 Years Quicker Than Hillary Clinton Did - The Babylon Bee

CNN then cut to an interview from last week in which Hillary Clinton once again claimed that the 2016 election was stolen by the Russians.

Trump Orders Flags Lowered To Half-Staff Over Loss Of His Twitter Account - The Babylon Bee

“So we’re going to mourn – we’re going to lower our flags and remember – but we’re also going to try to move on and live our lives despite no longer having my constant wisdom to guide you.”

Sun streaming into the house on a cold winter’s morning. ☀️

Amazon Banned From Amazon Servers For Selling Trump’s Art Of The Deal - The Babylon Bee

This happened after it was found that Amazon.com was selling President Donald Trump’s book The Art of the Deal, a book that financially contributes to the menace Donald Trump while also causing people to think like the deranged maniac.

Trump Hides Nuclear Codes In Bible Where Pelosi Will Never Find Them - The Babylon Bee

At publishing time, Trump had forgotten where he’d put the nuclear codes, since he never opens his Bible either.

A hot shower is the perfect end to this cold, powerless day.

Apple Removes All Apps Since Any Of Them Could Be Used To Incite Violence - The Babylon Bee

“Phone calls and text messages? You can plot violence. Books? You can be radicalized and then plot violence. Maps? You can navigate to violence,” said Tim Cook.

The calm after the storm.

Even Monkey gets to enjoy the snow day.

The Progressive Purge Begins - WSJ

“Don’t tell me he was banned for violating Twitter rules. I get death threats here every day for many years, and Twitter doesn’t ban anyone,” Mr. Navalny tweeted.

I spent about 90 minutes inverting 11 light switches throughout my house that were installed backwards.

Tedious, annoying task, but one of those satisfying improvements that I never have to do again.

💡

One of my favorite winter sights.

Snow in the trees.

Let it snow. 🌨

Dreaming of a snow day

☃️

Upon Becoming Richest Man In World, Elon Musk Treats Himself To Side Of Guac At Chipotle - The Babylon Bee

“You know what? I’ve arrived, and I’m gonna treat myself,” he said with a smile

Congrats, buddy!

To Protest Siege On Capitol, Kamala Harris Helps BLM Burn Down A Target - The Babylon Bee

“Next, let’s go get that Starbucks!” she cried. There is expected to be little effect on the Starbucks, though, since their beans are already burnt. Sadly, one of the protesters lit up a joint next to her and is now facing 25 years hard labor in one of Kamala’s prison camps.