21 Things We At The Babylon Bee Are Thankful For This Year - The Babylon Bee

9. Eight months of two weeks to flatten the curve. We are all safe now.

I feel very safe.

14. Viewers like you. And the letter B.

Pretty lame sales today.

Thanksgiving table.

Supreme Court Blocks Covid-19 Restrictions on Religious Services in New York - WSJ

Chief Justice Roberts, in dissent, said there was no need to act now because, since the suit was filed, the areas involved had been reclassified as yellow zones, which were subject to a 50% occupancy limit without a numerical limit.

This is the biggest threat to our Constitutional order. We need clarity from the Court, even if the conditions have temporality changed at the time of ruling. That way we can have clarity for next time, whether that be next week, next month, or in 50 years.

“It is time—past time—to make plain that, while the pandemic poses many grave challenges, there is no world in which the Constitution tolerates color-coded executive edicts that reopen liquor stores and bike shops but shutter churches, synagogues, and mosques,” he wrote.

Part of the opinion by Justice Gorsuch. He’s exactly right. This isn’t April. States have had months to come up with a workable plan for Winter, but instead are just running off of the old playbook. The “emergency” is over. More than enough time has passed for Governors and State Legislatures to work together on appropriate applications of separated powers in the current situation.

Picture by my son.

Went to the dump today. Very difficult experience.

Just Hours After Being Placed In Cuomo’s Possession, Emmy Statue Dies Of COVID - The Babylon Bee

“The Emmy was placed in a nursing home for safekeeping and almost immediately contracted the virus, passing away just hours later,” said one medical professional. “Cuomo was also seen encouraging the statue to attend a Biden rally and a BLM protest, though he was emphatic that the statue not go to synagogue or church.”

Pope Decries Plight of Chinese Uighurs as New Catholic Bishop Is Ordained in China - WSJ

But the Chinese government voiced annoyance on Tuesday, after Pope Francis broke his silence over China’s treatment of its Uighur Muslim population, which the pope included in a list of “persecuted peoples.”

Talk about late to the party. At least he finally showed up.

Bank Applications Get a Coronavirus Boost - WSJ

Oportun’s loans, which are designed as alternatives to payday and auto-title loans, have an average term of just under three years, and the weighted-average annual percent rate of 33.3%.

Wow, what a terrific service!!!

“There’s still a lot of the country where we weren’t making our inclusive, affordable products available,” Mr. Vazquez said.

He’s right, we need to get more people in these 33% APR products!

Hunter Biden Arrives At White House Dressed As Turkey In Hopes Of Being Pardoned By Trump - The Babylon Bee

President Trump agreed to pardon the unusually large and vocal turkey.

Not the worst plan.

Walmart Thanks Government For Completely Obliterating Their Small Business Competition - The Babylon Bee

it’s been super great for us! No longer do we have to worry about the baker down the street or the family-owned hardware store next door taking away some of our business. The government just blew them up! We didn’t even ask them to! Can you believe it? What luck!

Cable companies are gross from top to bottom. They’re slimy when you sign up, horrible when you’re with them, and difficult to deal with when you leave.

Pink sunrise on an early Sunday morning donut run.

Nation That Hasn’t Been To Church In Eight Months Not Sure Why Everybody’s So Anxious And Worried - The Babylon Bee

A survey of Evangelicals showed that 92% of them would be willing to hug a church greeter while singing “Good Good Father” if it meant going back to normal services again.

Even robots need to rest.

Student Loan Losses Seen Costing U.S. More Than $400 Billion - WSJ

The government lends more than $100 billion each year to students to cover tuition at more than 6,000 colleges and universities. It ignores factors such as credit scores and field of study, and it doesn’t analyze whether students will earn enough after graduating to cover their debt.

What could go wrong?