Chet Collins

Celsius Spent $40 Million on Crypto Mining in First Two Weeks of Bankruptcy - WSJ

But Celsius expects the mining operation to start turning a profit by January

They can’t afford redemptions, so they decide to spend 24% of free cash on a loss leader that won’t be profitable for at least six months?

Golfer Buys New Driver So He Can Hit The Ball Farther Into The Woods - Babylon Bee

Jefferson O’Malley recently purchased a $1,000 driver that would “totally fix his game.” Sources confirm that the club has indeed improved his ability, as he can now hit the ball an additional 30-40 yards farther into the woods.

Biden Plan Would Return Student Loan Borrowers in Default to Good Standing - WSJ

“Access to federal student aid can provide a pathway for additional education, which can help these borrowers compete in the job market and ultimately improve their ability to fully repay their loans, among other benefits,” said Richard Cordray, chief operating officer for Federal Student Aid, in a press release.

This is disingenuous. First, the best indicator of a borrower’s future ability to repay is their repayment history. That’s the theory that our entire financial system. So putting defaulted borrowers in a position to borrow more and dig a deeper hole is harmful to the borrower. Second, Cordray knows that the Dept. of Education is going to do everything in its power to make sure that most borrowers don’t have to fully repay their loans.

Toyota Executive Warns EVs Face Obstacles to Wider Adoption - WSJ

“I don’t think the market is ready for what the rhetoric is saying,” Mr. Hollis said.

And it’s going to be incredibly painful for car makers and shareholders if this bet on the farm sours.

Catholics Unveil High-Capacity Assault Rosary - Babylon Bee

Sources indicate many were able to use an advanced telescopic sight to aim thoughts and prayers at friends and family up to 400 yards away. Swiss Guards deployed in Vatican City have advised Catholics not to aim the new rosary at anyone they do not wish to bless.

Overweight Man Reassures Doctor That His 8.5% Weight Inflation Is No Longer A Problem As His Weight Inflation This Month Is 0 - Babylon Bee

“In fact, my doctor was expecting my weight gain to be up by 8.7%, but boy did I prove him wrong! My weight gain is only up 8.5% for the year. So take that, Doc!” Derrick added enthusiastically. “So I don’t want to hear any more complaining about my size or concerns for my health — I’ve clearly got this problem solved.”

Son’s alligator.

Brian Stelter to Leave CNN After Cancellation of ‘Reliable Sources’ - WSJ

Brian Stelter, the host of CNN’s Sunday morning show “Reliable Sources,” is leaving the network following the cancellation of the long-running media news show, the network said Thursday.

I’m all about giving people an opportunity to grow into their role, but after 2 years it should’ve been clear that this dude doesn’t have the right stuff.

Google Workers Press Company to Stop Collecting Abortion Data - WSJ

The petition, signed by more than 650 workers, also called on the company to remove search results for crisis pregnancy centers, which it said were misleading to those seeking abortions. Crisis pregnancy centers are typically nonprofits that counsel women against having abortions.

Google: yup, we’re evil now!

Cheney, Trump and the GOP - WSJ Opinion

GOP voters can hate what happened on Jan. 6 but also dislike the tactics of a committee that excluded Republicans who might have cross-examined witnesses.