50 Cent Appeals To New Trump Supporter Fanbase With Country Album - The Babylon Bee

50 Cent was originally going to take on a new, more patriotic name “50 States,” but after seeing the low taxes in Tenessee, he has opted for the new name “70 Cent.”

Show Off Does Novena In Eight Days - EOTT

Obnoxious, overachieving Catholic Lamett Erickson informed family and friends Tuesday morning that he had completed his novena a day early.

It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown

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Senate aims to put Barrett closer to a final vote on Monday - WTOP

At the start of Trump’s presidency, McConnell engineered a Senate rules change to allow confirmation by a majority of the 100 senators, rather than the 60-vote threshold traditionally needed to advance high court nominees over objections.

A perfect illustration of the decay that has taken root in media reports. Where’s the context?

My kids only sleep in on days when we have somewhere to be.

Israel, Sudan Agree to Normalize Ties in U.S.-Brokered Deal - WSJ

U.S. and Israeli officials say they expect several other Muslim and Arab nations countries, including Morocco and Oman, to join the so-called Abraham Accords in the coming months. Besides the U.A.E. and Bahrain, Israel also has diplomatic relations with Jordan and Egypt.

The biggest story that no one is talking about. The fact that these leaders weren’t given a joint Noble Peace Prize this year is an absolute farce.

More Liberals Switching Their Vote To Trump After Realizing He’s Their Only Reason For Living - The Babylon Bee

Many progressives went to the polls intending to vote for Biden and switched at the last moment, suddenly having an existential crisis. If Trump loses, they reasoned, they would be completely rudderless for the next four years, not having anyone to blame all their problems on or claim to be oppressed by.

Biden Calls A Lid Until Election Day - The Babylon Bee

“Biden needs the next eleven days to prepare for his acceptance speech,” Biden’s campaign manager Jen O’Malley Dillon told reporters as she kept an eye on poll numbers.

Expensify CEO Urges Customers to Vote Against Trump - WSJ

its chief executive sent an anti-Trump email to roughly 10 million users of its software, saying that “anything less than a vote for Biden is a vote against democracy.”

Exactly! Democracy isn’t about weighing two options and then making an informed decision. It’s about doing what you’re told by people with blue checkmarks, rich white people, and celebrities.

Mail Service Deteriorated After Postmaster General Louis DeJoy’s Arrival, Watchdog Found - WSJ

Mr. DeJoy has strongly and repeatedly denied that he has any agenda other than to reduce an annual deficit that is expected to top $7.6 billion this year and improve postal efficiency.

We must now always assume the worst in everyone. I look forward to the problems at USPS being completely ignored once again starting November 4th.

The behind the scenes clips of these highly produced and edited interviews are nasty.

I didn’t like them before, and now I really don’t care for them.

Progressive 5-Year-Old Claims Cookie Crumbs All Over His Face Are Part Of Russian Disinformation Campaign - The Babylon Bee

His parents still grounded him, prompting him to call them “puppets of Putin.”

My phone slipped out of my hands and fell face down on brick floor. Only glass protector broke. Winning!!

Admittedly, I’m late to the party watching the excellent war film, Dunkirk. Christopher Nolan used his signature story telling mark to bring the viewer to the shores of France in the early days of World War II, when the Allied army was cornered and on the brink of collapse.

Most of us have the blessing of never living through a war. Our sole experience is the stories we hear from veterans, or the pictures we see in newspapers. To say that war is hell is an understatement.

Throughout the film, several storylines happen in parallel, with each character’s experience intertwined with the others. We follow a lowly private as he struggles, multiple times, to get off the beach and onto a seaworthy vessel bound for the British coast. We see the officers as they struggle to get a cohesive plan together to evacuate 400,000 British and French troops off the beach where they’re exposed. The army must reach the safety of Britain, so they can regroup and confront the German war machine.

What’s most captivating about the film is how it eliminates the romance that we tend to get in modern movies about armed conflict. There was no love story, only the raw emotions of the warfighter. We see the infantry, navy, and air force, each in their element. No one military man is any better off than the other. We see the brutality of war and it’s purely destructive nature.

When war is far off, it’s easy to put it out of mind. As we approach Veterans Day next month, I hope that we will, with our whole hearts, applaud those brave men and women who raised their hands to defend the Constitution, no matter the personal sacrifice that oath may require, so that we might all live in liberty and peace.

Facebook Has No Sense of Humor - WSJ

Last week we posted the satirical headline: “Senator Hirono Demands ACB Be Weighed Against a Duck to See If She Is a Witch.” It’s a reference to “Monty Python and the Holy Grail”—not a particularly believable joke, nor an original one (we did something similar during the Mueller investigations). But because we included the Pythonesque line “We must burn her,” Facebook accused us of “inciting violence” and deleted our post. The platform demonetized our page and gave us an ominous warning of future repercussions should we commit further violations. We attempted to appeal the violation. Facebook declined our appeal.

We were all privileged to live through the pontificate of Pope St. John Paul II, a man who stood up to the evils of Communism. He walked behind the Iron Curtain, spoke truth, and as Jesus did, pass through their midst. He called out the evils of a system that crushed the dignity of the human person, and utterly destroyed it.

That experience of the power of truth in the modern world, and seeing the change that moral authority of the Church can affect, left an impression on all of us.

In these days when the Pontiff abdicates his pastoral responsibility for the care of the Church and people of China, or in quips to the media seeks to upend the brilliance of the Catholic Intellectual Tradition, it’s easy to become discouraged.

Don’t let the flame go out.

Pope St. John Paul II, pray for us.

Embarrassed Pope Suddenly Realizes He’s Been Reading The Bible Upside Down This Whole Time - The Babylon Bee

“Oh, man! No wonder I’ve been getting it wrong all these years!” said an embarrassed Pope Francis, head in his hands. “I was wondering why my theology was always diametrically opposed to historic Christian teaching.”

Pope Francis Backs Civil Unions for Gay Couples, in Shift for Vatican - WSJ

The Vatican’s position on civil unions has until now been set forth in a 2003 document by the doctrinal office, then led by Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, the future Pope Benedict XVI. According to that document, “respect for homosexual persons cannot lead in any way to approval of homosexual behavior or to legal recognition of homosexual unions.”