Chet Collins

Few things sweeter than chrism on a newly baptized child.

Make her a temple of your glory.

Roger Marshall Defeats Kris Kobach In Kansas GOP Primary - NPR

40% - 26%. Good!

Veteran Mailman Phil R.E. Quinton Volunteers To Collect All The Mail-In Votes - The Babylon Bee

A longtime USPS mail carrier, Quinton will be in charge of collecting and tabulating the votes for all the states that opt for mail-in voting.

Glad to see we’ve got a real pro on this important task!

From Yellowstone to Yosemite, National Parks to Get Long-Awaited Overhaul - WSJ

After years in which billions worth of undone maintenance like this backed up across the National Parks system, President Trump signed a bill into law Tuesday that guarantees investment larger than anything the national parks have received in decades, park advocates say.

Great!

Biden Says He Can’t Wait To Find Out Who He Picked For VP - The Babylon Bee

Campaign aides say it’s been Biden’s most anticipated event since he found out he was running for president a few weeks ago. 

ADT Says Google to Invest $450 Million to Create Home Security Offerings - WSJ

The partnership will combine Nest hardware and services, powered by Google’s machine learning technology, with ADT’s installation, service and professional monitoring network.

Two awful companies. This tie-up is destined for dismal returns.

Good morning! Beautiful start to a new week.

Catholics Kneel In Mass Protest, Then Stand, Then Sit, Then Kneel, Then Stand = The Babylon Bee

“The messaging these days is very unclear. All I know is we are protesting something,” said one devout Roman Catholic.  “Like, I’m not sure if the kneeling is the protest part or if it’s the standing. I know when athletes kneel for the national anthem, that’s a protest, but, then again, just last week one athlete kept standing and everyone else was kneeling and that was considered a protest. It’s all very ambiguous.”

Multiple Peaceful Protests Break Out At Hockey Games - The Babylon Bee

Members of Antifa were seen entering the arena about the same time as the peaceful protest broke out. But after they saw just how peacefully the hockey players were protesting they just called their moms for a ride home and got the heck out of there.

Consumers, Flush With Stimulus Money, Shun Credit-Card Debt - WSJ

Fewer people are late on their credit-card payments. Consumer demand for new borrowing—through credit cards, personal loans and even pawnshops—is down sharply.

May this be a lesson to consumers on the unnecessary nature of credit cards.

Data from card companies indicate that the pandemic has spurred a shift away from credit cards toward debit-card purchases across spending categories

Democrats Propose New Debate Format Where Biden Is Tied Up Backstage With His Mouth Duct-Taped Shut - The Babylon Bee

Besides, we’re trying to win here. Tying up our candidate and stuffing a sock in his mouth has been shown to improve his poll numbers significantly.

Dave Ramsey Proposes New Stimulus Package Where Every American Is Just Sent A Stack Of Empty Budgeting Envelopes - The Babylon Bee

Why would we send you another $1200 when you’re just gonna buy something dumb like video games or golf clubs? And then, when that money’s all dried up, you’ll probably keep using your credit card to buy stuff you can’t afford to impress people you don’t even like. Stupid!

Cape Air Chosen for Manistee Essential Air Service Despite Controversy – AirlineGeeks.com

They will fly an average of three-round trips per-day From the Michigan city to Chicago’s O’Hare International Airport onboard their new Tecnam P2012 Traveller aircraft.

I get why people are upset, Boutique Air would’ve been a really premium product. That said, the P2012 ain’t that bad.

When Their PPP Loans Didn’t Come Through, These Businesses Broke Up With Their Banks - WSJ

Stan Doida, managing attorney at Doida Law Group LLC in Greenwood Village, Colo., moved hundreds of thousands of dollars of business and personal deposits from Wells Fargo & Co. to Denver-based InBankshares Corp. after the smaller lender secured his law firm a roughly $90,000 PPP loan.

This dude still did business four years after Wells admitted to a massive fake account scheme. Do not do business with him.

Lawmakers Urge FTC Probe of Mobile Ad Industry’s Tracking of Consumers - WSJ

the mobile advertising industry’s practice of covertly tracking consumers using digital display ads

All the more reason to use aggressive ad blockers.

Trump Suggests Replacing Unfair Elections With New System Where Eligible Male Heir Inherits The Presidency - The Babylon Bee

Congress will not be needed, of course, since the ruler will graciously take upon himself the heavy burden of making all decisions for the country.

Big day.