Chet Collins

Trump Demotes Doctor Fauci To Dentist - The Babylon Bee

“This isn’t a reflection on Dr. Fauci’s performance, I just think he stinks, and I hate him. So now he’s not a real doctor anymore. He’s just a dentist.”

Pope Michael Not Sure What To Do With $1.6 Billion Dollar Check From Government - Eye of the Tiber

Michael said that since he was not-for-profit, he would take his queue from how other not-for-profits in the world handle their money, saying that he would do his utmost best to mismanage it

Truth.

It’s Coffee-o’clock. ☕️

Why Mike Pompeo’s South China Sea statement is so significant - Washington Examiner

China has “no lawful territorial or maritime claim to (or derived from) James Shoal, an entirely submerged feature only 50 nautical miles from Malaysia and some 1,000 nautical miles from China’s coast.”

Entirely the point.

U.K. Makes U-Turn on Huawei After U.S. Pressure - WSJ

comes amid a broader deterioration of relations between the U.K. and China, most recently relating to China’s imposition of a new security law over the former British colony of Hong Kong.

Good!

One year ago yesterday, I finished the first draft of Humble Service.

Immediately after finishing, I went for a walk and took a picture of the clear blue sky. That picture just showed up in my Day One feed and I can still feel those emotions of that special day.

Genius Trump Wears Mask Causing Media To Question Effectiveness Of Masks - The Babylon Bee

“Yes, masks seem to be effective at first blush, but do they really work?” said a CNN anchor.

Famed Archaeology Professor Fired After Photos Surface Of Him Wearing Nazi Uniform - The Babylon Bee

“The amount of time he apparently spends with Nazis is alarming. It seems like every time we turn around, he’s wearing a Nazi uniform, riding Nazi motorcycles, or entering Nazi submarines!” 

Here’s What’s Problematic With Each Of The NFL’s 32 Team Names - The Babylon Bee

Jacksonville Jaguars - Jaguars are driven by evil rich billionaires as they run over poor people.

Democracy Dies in Darkness, but Don’t Blame Trump - WSJ

It’s not Mr. Trump who’s silenced them. Can you name a single person in the media who has suffered materially for saying hostile things about the president in the past four years? In fact, there’s no surer way to advance your career in entertainment, news, sports, literature and even business circles than to issue some well-rehearsed bromide on social media about the monster in the White House.

China to Impose Retaliatory Sanctions on GOP Senators Over Xinjiang Penalties - WSJ

The targeted Republicans include U.S. Sens. Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz, Rep. Chris Smith of New Jersey and former Kansas Gov. Sam Brownback

Oh no! Now they can’t travel to China or conduct business in yuan!!

Washington’s NFL Team Officially Drops the Redskins Name - WSJ

The NFL’s pivot launched a newly animated effort from the league to combat social injustices.

What’s the NFL?

‘Buy Now Pay Later’ Is Having a Moment as Pandemic Changes Shopping Habits - WSJ

Nick Molnar used a life lesson from the last financial crisis to build a payments company that has become one of the stock-market success stories of the current downturn. “I had just turned 18 and I was told, ‘Don’t spend money you don’t have,’” Mr. Molnar says

So he started a company that allows people to buy things today that they don’t have the money to pay for.

Facebook To Require Masks In All Profile Pictures - The Babylon Bee

If you don’t have a mask, Facebook offers digital mask filters to give the appearance that you’re wearing one. Those who refuse the mask will be asked to delete their accounts.

Father’s Only Spare Moment To Play Video Games Spent Downloading Updates - The Babylon Bee

“Sometimes you just need to get by yourself, fire up the Xbox, and download 80 gigs of patches”

Unable To Take Down Nuns With The Courts, Obama Turns To Vigilante Justice - The Babylon Bee

“If the law is inadequate to force nuns to pay for abortifacients, then I must take things outside the law,” said Obama as he donned a homemade costume.

Not sure why Philips Hue light bulbs take an hour per bulb to download an update.

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