Protesters Clarify They’re Only OK With Secret Police In Communist Countries - The Babylon Bee

Several confused bystanders asked for clarification from the protesters sporting Marxist banners and defensive explosive devices when they began decrying the use of secret police against them.

Riot Police Unsure If Their Tear Gas Worked Since Libs Were Already Crying - The Babylon Bee

Riot police used tear gas on the Portland mayor and protesters last night, which is crazy because they were just trying to warm themselves by a harmless fire they started in a federal building.

Religious Orders Call On MLB To Force San Diego Padres To Change Name - EOTT

The letter obtained by EOTT demands the league to stop all use of “Catholic names and depictions,” and specifically asks the Padres in general to “cease all papist caricatures.”

Amazon Met With Startups About Investing, Then Launched Competing Products - WSJ

In 2017, Amazon was launching an update to its Echo speakers. It told Vivint that it would only allow the company to remain on the Echo if Vivint agreed to give it not only the data from its Vivint function on Echo, but from every Vivint device in those customers’ homes at all times, according to people familiar with the matter and emails reviewed by the Journal.

Amazon is a wonderful company!

It’s been more than a month since I stopped wearing my Apple Watch. The result? I’m not living a quantified life. I’m not tracking my steps, calories burned, hours stood, food intake, water intake, sleep, or even my weight. It’s a different mindset.

The old Fitbit joke was if you go for a walk without your Fitbit, do the steps count? Of course, my body never knew it was being tracked. It knew that I was walking daily, eating delicious fats, and staying on my sleep schedule. Over the course of several months, the pounds fell away and my overall health improved.

I weight in once a month now to keep an eye on things. After several false starts, I’m back on my diet. When I go for my walks, I’m not concerned about my pace, the duration, or how far I’ve gone. I’m only concerned with walking three laps around my neighborhood.

Is this a lasting strategy? Hard to say. I’ll know in six months to a year, but the initial returns are overwhelmingly positive.

Southwest and American Trim More Flying - WSJ

Southwest and American also said late Wednesday that all passengers over 2 years must wear masks on board

Good luck with that!

Desecration of Catholic Churches Across U.S. Leaves Congregations Shaken - WSJ

Catholic institutions from Boston to Florida reported more than half a dozen attacks on church property, including statues of Jesus and the Virgin Mary, between July 10 and 16.

A natural progression when law enforcement, police and prosecutors, abdicate their responsibility to maintain order.

Chicago Mayor Hires Gangs To Spell Out ‘Trump Is Bad’ With Bullet Holes - The Babylon Bee

All the gang members who shot the mural into existence are now dead from gang violence, but their message will live on as a powerful reminder that Chicago will not stoop to Trump’s rhetoric.

Federal ‘Secret Police’ Disguise Selves As Rioters So Democrat Mayors Will Let Them Do Whatever They Want - The Babylon Bee

Portlanders and other citizens of Democrat-controlled cities have been sounding the alarm on President Trump’s “secret police,” federal agents who are arresting citizens in broad daylight for peacefully protesting with bricks and hand grenades and stuff.

Exclusive Interview: Trump Opens Up To The Babylon Bee On The Challenges Of Being The Smartest, Most Popular President Ever - The Babylon Bee

“People just bring me all their problems, and I just solve them right away. Boom! Taken care of. Plenty of time left over to watch TV. Everyone loves me.”

Just got the updated UI in the YNAB web app. Excellent upgrade.

City took almost 3 hours to send out alert on the fraudulent emails.

Not great.

Got a phishing email claiming to be from the city water department. Called them up and gave them a heads up that they may be compromised.

Let’s see how long until they send out an alert.

My 4 year old daughter just saw the Windows logo on my computer. “Look Daddy, Windows!"

Brilliant design.

The main thing I miss about my Apple Watch is unlocking my computer.

Mom Discussing Homeschooling Wondering How To Make It Clear She Homeschooled Before The Pandemic - The Babylon Bee

“The important thing is that I need to make it clear to each person I talk to that I took the education of my children seriously before a global pandemic forced me to.”

Not Satisfied With Just Having Summers Off, Teachers Push For Fall, Winter, Spring - The Babylon Bee

Studies have shown teachers are the laziest people on the planet, only working nine months and doing absolutely nothing for three months of the year. What’s more, when they do work, teachers wander into school at 7 and go home at 2, having done nothing all day but press play on Bill Nye the Science Guy VHS tapes.

Perfection.

Apple gets an F for Parental Controls.