‘A Civilization Will Die Tonight,’ Says Donald Trump As He Enters All-You-Can-Eat Shrimp Buffet - Babylon Bee

Trump greeted staff cordially before being seated at a presidential booth once used by William Howard Taft.

A very long day of troubleshooting a serious web design problem that was traced to something quite trivial.

I’m exhausted.

Parents Excited To Learn What Grade They Got On Their Kid’s Science Project - Babylon Bee

“She wanted to help, but she just doesn’t write neatly enough for the tri-fold, and she’s liable to mess up some of the placement of the dowel rods. In the end, it really worked better for her to watch Zootopia 2 while we got down to business.”

With over a decade of web design, I’ve accumulated a lot of abandoned files.

Time for some spring cleaning.

Jumping The Shark: ‘The Chosen’ Criticized For Planning To Kill Off Main Character Only To Resurrect Him Next Episode - Babylon Bee

Fans and critics alike feared the best days of The Chosen may be behind it, with the writers clearly struggling for direction as to what to do with the central character.

TV writing has gotten so lazy.

I normally am at Inbox Zero.

I have 145 emails in my inbox, 45 of which are unread, and 52 transactions to approve in YNAB.

PE

Emotional Passengers Board Final Spirit Airlines Flight For One Last All-Out Brawl - Babylon Bee

Airline staff reportedly worked hard to preserve the authentic Spirit experience for the final voyage, including overbooking the flight by 60% and charging an additional $45 “pre-fight positioning fee” for passengers hoping to start conflicts near the aisle. Flight attendants, many of whom appeared visibly moved, have vowed to help instigate several conflicts and then not intervene during the altercations

The reward for finishing the chores.

Clean house, fresh mulch, cut yard.

Ready for the weekend.

New bike day.

Theologians Struggling To Explain How Loving God Could Allow Ohio - Babylon Bee

but when you look at a landscape that is 98% corn and 2% orange road construction cones, it becomes difficult to argue for a divine plan.

2% seems low based on my experience.

Skittles the chipmunk.

🐿️

I have successfully trapped a chipmunk who was living under the foundation of the garage.

Unfortunately the children just announced that they’ve named it “Skittles.”

🐿️

ChatGPT is an incredible tool for solving all sorts of web design problems.

After dinner play.

Things 3 is a great app.

Sometimes I wonder when Things 4 is coming out, but what could they possibly improve?

Trump, Omar Argue Over Whether It’s ‘Two Corinthians’ Or ‘Eleven Corinthians’ - Babylon Bee

“Everybody knows it’s Two Corinthians. One Corinthians and Two Corinthians. It’s simple counting, and I am the best at counting,” said Trump.

Though they did not believe me when I told them last fall, the kids are now obsessed with their bikes.

This will be a memorable summer for them all.

☀️🚴🏻‍♂️

Architect Carefully Designs Airport So Rental Car Center Is Conveniently Located 75 Miles Away - Babylon Bee

Critics argued the distance is excessive, but the airport planning board disagreed. They claim the separation promotes mindfulness and gives passengers ample time to think as they take the seemingly endless walk to pick up their rental vehicle.

Kristi Noem Has Continued Using a Waterfront Coast Guard House Since Ouster - WSJ

Noem has continued to use the house since Trump ousted her from DHS in early March. She officially left the job after Markwayne Mullin was confirmed as the new secretary

You can’t buy class.