At a barbershop for the first time in more than 4 years.

💈

A Tale of Three Universities - WSJ Opinion

The University of Florida took a different approach. In a statement Monday evening, the school said protesters who engaged in prohibited activities would face a trespassing order and an “interim” suspension from the university. “This is not complicated,” a spokesman said. “The University of Florida is not a daycare, and we do not treat protesters like children—they knew the rules, they broke the rules, and they’ll face the consequences.”

Trump’s Finger Hovers Over ‘Send’ Button As He Ponders Whether Sick Burn Worth Another $10,000 - Babylon Bee

At publishing time, Trump had reportedly asked if he could go ahead and pre-pay for all the sick burns he planned to unleash next week.

CEO Tim Cook Straps On Apple Vision Pro To Enjoy Alternate Reality In Which People Buy Apple Vision Pro - Babylon Bee

The global tech giant’s venture into virtual reality was met with lukewarm public interest, leaving Cook to escape this world and use the company’s invention to enter an alternate universe in which the goggles had set sales records and altered the course of human beings' day-to-day lives.

America Honors Earth Day By Recycling Used Presidential Candidates - Babylon Bee

“Most old presidential candidates get tossed in the trash can to be sent to a landfill to slowly decompose until they’re forgotten and irrelevant. It’s time for a new way,” said environmental scientist Dr. Wayne Flerd. “We couldn’t be happier to see not one, but two former candidates being given new life despite being way past their expiration dates.”

The IRS Is Here to Help With Direct File. Oh No - WSJ Opinion

Sen. Warren is selling Direct File as an alternative to “greedy, reckless” tax preparation firms. It’s a scandal the tax code is so complicated it requires such help, but that’s the fault of Congress.

Op-Ed: If Jesus Supports Forgiveness, How Can Christians Not Support Robbing Poor People To Pay For My Journalism Degree? - Babylon Bee

If you really believe Jesus paid the debt for your sins, you must also believe in paying the tuition for my “cultural experience” semester in Jamaica. It’s as simple as that.

NASA Sends Rover To Search For Intelligent Life On ‘The View’ - Babylon Bee

“So far, our sensors have detected nothing.”

Democrats Play Into Hamas’s Hands - WSJ Opinion

You’d think the U.S. never made a mistake that killed civilians in wartime. They ignore the Hellfire missile attack that killed seven children as the U.S. sought to avenge the deaths of 13 Americans in Kabul as Mr. Biden pulled U.S. forces from Afghanistan in 2021.

Israel has a history of accountability for such mistakes, and officers in charge have already been cashiered. That’s more than can be said for the U.S. failure in Afghanistan.

Biden’s Latest Lawless Student Loan Forgiveness - WSJ Opinion

Mr. Biden’s new loan forgiveness is still illegal. The High Court stressed that student loan forgiveness is a major question that requires clear authorization from Congress. But Mr. Biden seems to believe he can jam the courts by automatically forgiving debt before a judge has time to stop him.

The White House says most borrowers won’t even have to apply for loan relief. Sometime before the November election, Mr. Biden will simply declare their debt forgiven. That means a future Congress and a President Trump might be unable to undo the lawless act. Where are the press scolds who warn about a President who threatens democracy?

I’m now 100% obsessed with garlic & herb butter.

🧈

Doesn’t do it justice.

The eclipse has begun. Good visibility, pretty cool to see.

🌑

Biden Exploits a Tragic Israeli Mistake - WSJ Opinion

Mr. Biden also seems to have forgotten his own mistaken missile strike. When the President’s Irish goodbye from Afghanistan was spoiled by a suicide bombing that killed 13 U.S. troops, he ordered retaliation against ISIS-K. On Aug. 29, 2021, a U.S. Hellfire missile struck a car at a family home in Kabul in what Gen. Mark Milley called a “righteous strike.”

It turned out the strike killed 10 civilians, including seven children. But the Biden Administration wasn’t quick to apologize. “Almost everything senior defense officials asserted in the hours, days and weeks after it turned out to be false,” the New York Times reported.

The explosives supposedly in the targeted car’s trunk were probably water bottles. The driver, an aid worker, had no ISIS ties. It took weeks for the Pentagon to own up to what it called a “tragic mistake.”

The fog of war is real, and for Mr. Biden this and other U.S. strikes were mistakes. But he now holds Israel to a different standard.

The President’s statements on the Israeli strike have moved from “outrage” to recrimination: “This is a major reason why distributing humanitarian aid in Gaza has been so difficult—because Israel has not done enough to protect aid workers.” Left out is a critical word about Hamas, which started this war, steals aid, and murders Palestinians who facilitate aid.

9 Other Groups That Desperately Need Their Own Day Of Visibility - Babylon Bee

Meghan Markle: Living in relative obscurity as a television actress and member of the British royal family is lonely and heartbreaking and will soon be documented in a heavily promoted Netflix series.

How is it that no one has solved Parental Controls on computers/devices by now?

The Triduum begins.

Over the years, I’ve read many articles and books that discussed strategies for minimizing phone use. Really, to even call them phones today is a disservice. Our cell phones are now computers that also happen to be able to make calls.

Cal Newport, in his book Digital Minimalism discusses a sensible strategy of giving each type of device a particular job. Web surfing goes to the desktop, reading goes to the iPad, mobile needs goes to the iPhone, etc. In this type of system, with each device having a discreet role, the theory is that if keep each device in its lane, you can maintain your technology goals. For instance, you’d stop scrolling on your phone in bed because scrolling is to be done on your desktop.

Any plan to reduce your dependance on your devices will require at least a small degree of buy-in. Most manufacturers are heavily incentivized to keep you plugged in as much as possible, so the tools to create a “healthy relationship,” even the parental controls, are difficult to navigate by design but easy to break.

The device job idea was interesting to me, but the idea that’s stuck even longer is a video that I watched in 2018 from The Wall Street Journal. Personal Technology columnist Joanna Stern did a deep dive on the colors on our phones, and how they use our psychology against us to keep us staring at our screens all day.

After six years of bouncing around in my head, I finally did it. I combined Cal and Joanna’s strategies into one comprehensive iPhone redesign. I deleted most of my apps, only keeping the ones that I need close at hand for short duration use. Gone are the games, news, and reading apps. I then set up a simple Home Screen with nine apps, the remaining accessible from a Spotlight search or the App Library. Finally, I turned on color filters and set the whole operating system to greyscale.

I then took things one step further. I finally sat down to understand the Focus modes, and set up several to match the phases of my day.

The collective impact of these changes is noticeable. I don’t reach for my phone in the idle moments of the day, and when it’s on, the grey is unbelievably uninteresting. There are times, if I am doing some quick online shopping, where I turn back on the color because color is context. When done, the gray is back on and my phone is back to its designated lane.

Technology is a wonderful thing that brings so much convenience to our lives. Regardless of its importance, at the end of the day, it’s just a tool. And it works much better in grayscale.