Pirates Under Fire For Directly Marketing Team To Children - The Onion

The team knows that no sane adult would willingly become a Pirates fan, so they have to go after minors. They hook children early because they know the cycle of hope and despair is addicting, and if young kids start watching games, there’s a good chance they’ll grow up to be season-ticket holders. They know that Pirates fandom is linked to depression, anxiety, and even suicidal ideation, but they don’t care.

Satan Takes Trump To Roof Of White House To Offer Him All The Kingdoms Of The World - Babylon Bee

“Go away, Satan! For verily, I tell you, America first!” Trump reportedly sneered. “Besides, I’m the leader of the free world, you dummy. Those kingdoms are pretty much mine anyway. They do whatever I want, believe me.”

Raccoon snacks.

Trump Takes Back Old Position At McDonald’s To Boost Weak Jobs Report - Babylon Bee

“I can’t talk too long, I’ve got to finish these orders before the end of my shift, and then I have to take a call to broker a peace deal between Pakistan and India,” Trump said. “Those jobs numbers were ridiculous. I fired the lady who made them up. She’s gone. Nasty woman. Lots of people have jobs. Not her, but lots of people, believe me.”

Everyone’s got to pitch in.

Texas Democrats Fled to Illinois to Protest Congressional Redistricting. But Pritzker’s State Is a Gerrymandering Hot Spot. - WSJ

Just three of 17 Illinois congressional districts—about 18%—are represented by Republicans in a state where President Trump won 44% of the 2024 vote. The nonpartisan Gerrymandering Project at Princeton University awarded the congressional map approved in Illinois in 2021 with two “F” grades, one in the category of partisan fairness and another for geographic features.

Threat to our democracy.

“They decided to cheat and we’re going to respond in kind.”

Not a great quote from the DNC chair.

August Saturday morning.

Why is Chick-fil-A so good at everything EXCEPT coffee?

Big Lots Closes All Stores After Therapist Helps Company Work Through Hoarding Tendencies - The Onion

Finally closing the doors on its last remaining outlet after getting rid of an unwieldy stockpile of variety goods, the discount retailer Big Lots ceased operations Wednesday following a therapy program in which the company’s roughly 30,000 employees confronted their self-destructive hoarding tendencies.

Respect. 📦

Trump Administration Weighs Charging Patent Holders New Fee to Raise Revenue - WSJ

Commerce Department officials are discussing charging patent holders 1% to 5% of their overall patent value, a shift that could dramatically increase fees, according to people familiar with the matter.

Patents are already expensive; there’s the filing fee but the attorney fees to get you through the complex process is through the roof.

Now the government is going to guess the future economic value of a novel invention?

This is stupid.

And the fees wouldn’t go to the debt as advertised; it just becomes a new slush fund.

Enjoying the evening with some rum, the new Brad Thor book, and my full titanium bookmark.

As North Koreans Shun State Propaganda, Kim Tries a Flashier TV Show - WSJ

Now, as North Koreans—particularly urbanites and younger people—gain furtive access to foreign news and entertainment, the country’s leader, Kim Jong Un, is trying a different tactic: television dramas that expose the regime’s weakness. The goal, analysts say, is to manage people’s expectations and rally them to overcome the country’s many hardships.

The result is a new television series that honestly depicts the everyday corruption that is rife in North Korea. Local officials embezzle grain, farmers fail to meet quotas and people bribe their superiors. It also portrays family conflict in contrast to official support for family harmony.

American Sentenced to 8½ Years in Prison for Helping North Koreans Get Jobs at Nike, Other U.S. Firms - WSJ

In the morning, she would turn on racks of computers covered with Post-its that had information about the companies they belonged to. Then North Koreans would log in remotely through Chapman’s farm and work for the companies.

Sort of a red flag?

When I migrated the Catholic Husband blog, I broke all of the links. There was no way around it.

I’m slowly going through the posts on this blog to update links. After that, I’m going to finish tagging and building out the archive of my Haiku project.

Just some nice little summer improvements.