Chet Collins

Clever American Disguises Self As Transgender Middle Easterner In Hopes Of Receiving More COVID Aid - The Babylon Bee

Other Americans are working hard to snag some of that sweet government cash by disguising themselves as art galleries, bridge projects, and Asian carp fishermen.

Trump’s Parting Shot: A Bigger Navy? - WSJ

The Pentagon has been debating and studying how to expand the fleet, and the Trump plan suggests underwriting more than 80 ships over five years at a cost of $147 billion.

How wasteful is the $900B stimulus?

We can grow our Navy by 80 ships and still have $733B (81.5%) to spare!

The long-term governmental payroll support for tens of thousands of airline jobs that no longer exist is malpractice at the highest level.

God Compensates Job With $600 Stimulus Check - The Babylon Bee

“I pretty much lost everything,” Job said. “My kids, my home, my livestock, my health, my livelihood. I lost all of it. But finding out that I’ll get $600 is pretty exciting.”

I published my 800th post on Catholic Husband this morning. Will end the year with 52 posts published in 2020.

Glad to see this project going after nearly 8 years.

Congress Finally Reaches Stimulus Agreement: Every American Will Receive A Coupon For $5 Off At Applebee’s - The Babylon Bee

In addition to bailouts, money for pet projects, and payouts to unions, Congress has authorized a very special $5 off coupon to Applebee’s.

I prefer Chili’s.

Got the last box unpacked.

📦

Apple wants you to believe that they are a great, moral company. Simply not true. Dozens of gifs of Trump, even some of him in drag. Zero of Xi Jinping.

If they bowed any further to China, they’d lose their balance and fall over.

Report: LeBron James To Be Appointed As Ambassador To China - The Babylon Bee

Colin Kaepernick was also floated but ultimately didn’t get picked.

Boom, roasted!

Infographic: The Journalists' Guide To Reporting On Politicians - The Babylon Bee

researchers say they are close to making a breakthrough on triple standards

Infographics by the Bee are always great.

Experts Warn Further Lockdowns Could Result In More Taylor Swift Albums - The Babylon Bee

“The data is clear: we must end the lockdowns to prevent this from happening.”

Agree.

It’s a two cup of coffee kind of day.

☕️

Dad Excited To See What He Got His Kids For Christmas - The Babylon Bee

“Oh man, I hope it’s a LEGO set,” he said as he shook a box under the tree labeled “To: Aiden, From: Dad.”

Apple Prototyped Hundreds of AirPods Max Designs, Says Smart Case is Designed for Storage Efficiency - MacRumors

Whang, who apparently oversaw design of the case, said that while many headphones come with a large, cumbersome case, the Smart Case was designed to be storage efficient.

The worst sort of hubris, all too typical of Apple. They are wholly incapable of admitting when they make a mistake.

The emperor has no clothes.

Joel Osteen Releases New Book ‘Live Your Best Life Now By Taking Millions In Small Business Aid From The Government’ - The Babylon Bee

The book will teach Christians to name and claim up to $4 million in small business aid, allowing them to use their positive mental energy to redirect the loans from businesses who desperately need it to their own lives and ministries.

Seattle Announces Reverse Purge Where One Night A Year Laws Will Be Enforced - The Babylon Bee

one special day every year where laws against things like stealing, killing, and urinating in public libraries will actually be enforced by real police officers