Chet Collins

My letter carrier and I have very different ideas as to what “Hold Mail” means. 📬

Another rainy travel day. Happy to be home soon.

Amazing that we still don’t have blanket cell coverage along interstates.

Activision Announces ‘Call Of Duty: Obama Ops’ Where All You Do Is Drone-Strike Civilians - The Babylon Bee

This new game will put you in the shoes of the Nobel Peace Prize-winning Commander in Chief as he relentlessly shoots drone missiles at restaurants, libraries, and hospitals in countries all across the Middle East.

Eight.

50 yard line.

Proud Mayor Lets His Entire City Burn To The Ground Just To Make Trump Look Bad - The Babylon Bee

In an effort to prevent the reelection of sitting President Donald Trump, Mayor Ted Wheeler is encouraging citizens to raze their city to the ground. They hope that by desolating the entire city and reducing it to nothing more than smoking heaps of ash, that Trump won’t stand a chance in 2020.

Democrats Growing Increasingly Worried Biden Will Live Through Election Day - The Babylon Bee

Biden is a great pick for us because he reassures middle America that he isn’t a total left-wing nutjob, while at the same time, he speaks to all the left-wing nutjobs that he won’t be around for very long.

United Ends Domestic Change Fees - WSJ

Ancillary fees have climbed fivefold over the past decade and accounted for about 15% of sales at U.S. carriers last year

Change fees being among the dumbest.

Spotted in Gramma’s garden.

Journalists Admit They're Supporting Biden Just So They Can Take Another 4-to-8-Year-Long Vacation - The Babylon Bee

Weary of criticizing the president every second for the past four years, journalists say they just want to return to the Obama era when they didn’t have to do any actual journalism.

Daughter prays.

Anniversary ice cream treat.

In Lieu Of Convention, Republicans Just Broadcast Footage Of Riots In Democrat-Controlled Cities For 3 Hours - The Babylon Bee

“It’s a far more effective strategy than if we were to get up there, open our mouths, and talk,” said an RNC spokesperson.

President Xi Relieved To Find Out NBA Players Just Protesting Injustices In America - The Babylon Bee

Jingping breathed a sigh of relief when he was assured they were just protesting perceived injustices in the United States and not the much worse and more frequent injustices carried out by his regime.

Journalists Rush To Get Story Out Before It Can Be Ruined By The Facts - The Babylon Bee

“This is a powerful narrative. Just the kind of story we want to tell! But we have to get this out before the facts come out! Hurry! The facts are closing in!” screamed a CNN reporter as he jumped in his news van to rush over to the site of the incident.

Campus in the fall.