Almost every time I walk through IKEA I discover a product that I always knew I needed, but didn’t know existed. Upping my guest linen game with some $1.99 storage bags.

iOS 18.1 Is Out Now: Apple Intelligence, New Siri Look and AirPod Hearing Aids Arrive - WSJ

Yes, Apple’s long-awaited entry into generative AI is here.

🥱

The Presidential Election is upon us, and I managed to vote last week. Since having children, I’ve early voted in each election. This year was the hardest I’ve had to work to get it done. My normal polling place was overrun the two times that I went, so we ended up at a more obscure location.

I bought groceries for my family of six this morning. I grant that I do not always buy the cheapest ingredients. My goal is not to have the lowest cost corn-fed family, but a reasonable menu that fills everyone up with something good. I shop at Walmart and trade down to generics on most categories, when able.

Thanks to my six year habit of online grocery shopping, I have prices from the last time I went to the polls, October 2020. Granted, this was during the supply chain shortage, and even then prices felt high. Sadly, things went from bad to bleak.

The Consumer Price Index is based on a “basket of goods.” Here’s my personal grocery price index:

My grocery bill is up an average of 29%. If my grocery budget bought a full year of groceries in 2020, in 2024 it would only buy my family food through September 16.

That’s a whole lot of hurt every single week from the folks who say they’re “helping” me.

It’s going to be a good day.

The Babylon Bee Editorial Board Endorses Kamala Harris For President - Babylon Bee

In 2020, the Babylon Bee famously endorsed “Dave” for President, discovering only later that Dave was a role played by actor Kevin Kline in a movie that hit the box office in 1993. This year, we resolved to endorse an actual person, and that person is Kamala Harris.

Great movie. 🍿

Joe Rogan Interviews Former McDonald’s Fry Cook - Babylon Bee

The since-retired McDonald’s employee, named Donald, had just days ago been photographed serving up French fries at a Philadelphia drive-through. Incredibly, less than a week later, the former fry cook had landed a spot on the most downloaded podcast in the world.

Trump Accused Of Inappropriately Touching The Hearts Of Millions Of Americans - Babylon Bee

The latest scandal threatened to impact the upcoming presidential election, as millions of accusers from every state began to pour in. Victims of all ages and from across the socio-economic spectrum claimed to have been truly touched by Trump.

Democrats Explain Trump Was Going To Be Hitler During His First Term, But He Forgot - Babylon Bee

According to retired General John Kelly, former President Trump often talked about how he kept meaning to find time to be Hitler, but he kept getting distracted by other things. “On several occasions, Trump told me word for word, ‘This is it. This is the week I’m going to go be Hitler.’ But then, Trump would get started doing something like handing out candy to Minions and he would completely forget,” explained Kelly.

Next time I need a lock for a gate, I will buy an outdoor rated lock. That way I won’t end up spending $75 for the locksmith to remove a $10 lock again.

🔒

Kamala Harris’s Pitch to Black Men - WSJ Opinion

The Vice President claims to follow the science, but she ignores the growing evidence about marijuana’s mental, physical and social harms. It is especially damaging to young people whose brains are still developing. Many black communities in California have opposed pot dispensaries in their neighborhoods because they don’t want their young people on dope.

Tips For Saving Money On Groceries - The Onion

Hire a private investigator to take photographs of Kroger cashiers in compromising situations that you can use to blackmail them during checkout. 

Big changes coming at work, re-thinking everything. Checked out Arc after hearing about it for months. This is so good!

Couple Denied Marriage License After Failing To Prove Love Beyond Reasonable Doubt - The Onion

Judge Luther Hanscom, whose ruling found insufficient grounds to suggest Fields and Garcia’s bond was meant to last forever, concluding it was plausible they were participants in nothing more than a simple fling.

Time to eat.

A Pop Star Wanted the Filibuster Dead. Democrats Are Still Trying to Kill It. - WSJ

It wasn’t a topic Senate Democrats were expecting musician John Legend to ask them about. But during a 2019 donor event held at Legend’s California home, the pop star pressed lawmakers on how they would actually pass the policies they were proposing—given the hurdle of the Senate filibuster. That rule requires 60 votes for most bills to advance, rather than a simple majority, and Legend wanted Democrats to end it.

I’m sure John Legend spent years thinking deeply about the practical implications of this rule change. After all, Celebrity = Genius.

Sunrise over the lake.

Let’s fly.

Exclusive | U.S. Port Workers Agree to End Their Strike - WSJ

President Biden applauded the agreement, saying in a statement, “Collective bargaining works, and it is critical to building a stronger economy from the middle out and the bottom up.”

My guess is the terminals and shipping lines will eat the 62% increase in their labor cost and it definitely won’t show up in the form of higher prices on the few consumer goods that are transported by boat.

Rainy afternoon.