Trump Warns Iran To Accept His Ultimatum Or Face Wrath Of Next Ultimatum - The Onion

“You may think I’m bluffing, but believe me when I say you will feel the full weight of my social media posts.”

In the garden

What A Moron: Judas Dips Bread In Bowl Right After Jesus Says ‘The One Who Dips The Bread In The Bowl Will Betray Me’ - Babylon Bee

“Dude, seriously?” said the Apostle Andrew.

I see all of these corporate April Fools jokes and I can’t help but think about all of the time that went into coming up with a concept and finishing the design.

We need humor and levity, but humor is best enjoyed when it bubbles up naturally.

This is just a waste of time and effor.

Just a few more days.

There is an inverse correlation between a movie’s rating on Rotten Tomatoes and how good it actually is.

🍿

Venerable Fulton Sheen to be beatified in St. Louis on 24 September - Vatican News

After his heroic virtue was recognized, Fulton Sheen was declared Venerable in 2012 by Pope Benedict XVI. In 2019, Pope Francis authorized a decree recognizing a miracle through his intercession.

Therefore the Lord exhorts us to wait with patient and reverent faith until the end comes… It is not a blessed dissolution that awaits us, nor is nonexistence the fruit, nor annihilation the appointed reward of faith. Instead, the end is the final attainment of the promised blessedness, in which the goal of perfect happiness is reached, with no further goal beyond. For these, “the end” is to abide in the condition of uninterrupted rest toward which they are pressing.

• St. Hilary of Poitiers, On the Trinity

That moment when you’re in a very long confession line with your children and the total legend parochial vicar shows up and opens a second line.

GOAT!

My favorite kind of weather.

⛈️

The Tourist

🍿

Nine days until I can pick my knife again.

Trump Postpones Iran Strikes Until They All Assemble In One Place Again For A Meeting - Babylon Bee

“We are glad to hear Trump is postponing other strikes,” one insider said. “It’s a welcome sign that this may all be over soon. We’re all going to schedule a meeting at Omar’s house to discuss these negotiations with the Americans and see where we go from here.”

Dawn’s early light.

Working remotely on my MacBook Pro.

These speakers are amazing!

Marking the 13th anniversary of Catholic Husband.

1,072 blog posts published.

I just realized I can link files in macOS Finder to specific tasks in Things.app.

So when I’m working on a task, I don’t have to hunt for my work files!

Iran Warns U.S. It Has Huge Stockpile Of Supreme Leaders - Babylon Bee

the regime said on Tuesday that it had secretly spent the last several years working behind the scenes to enrich raw mullahs into weapons-grade supreme leaders.

Grilled pizza.

🍕

Abram went as the LORD directed him.

Genesis 12:4

I don’t know what it is about third-party file storage services, but they always screw up my Mac.

At least in this round I was able to use AI to diagnose and solve the problem. But seriously, these services are over 15 years old, how is this still happening?

People really respond to a bow tie.

How did I make it all these years in Things without using tags?

Reinventing The Dining Experience: This Cafe Modeled Their Payment System After Healthcare Billing So Chefs, Waiters, And Dishwashers Can Invoice You Separately For Completely Random Amounts Weeks To Months Later - Clickhole

Cut to four months later, and you’ll receive another invoice from the line cook for services including cooking chicken (“Protein Thermal Processing Treatment – $6.22”) and chopping lettuce (“Vegetative Component Structural Reduction – $3.34), and so on and so forth, until the restaurant’s wait and kitchen staff have all individually charged you for every distinct action they undertook during your dining experience

Toddler Review: This Book Has A Mind-Blowing Twist That You’ll Never See Coming. It Will Change You Forever. - Babylon Bee

I was instead presented with the manic fear of a familiar character spiraling out of control.

While all the runners in the stadium take part in the race, the award goes to one man. In that case, run so as to win! Athletes deny themselves all sorts of things. They do this to win a crown of leaves that withers, but we a crown that is imperishable.

1 Cor 9:24-25

Unsettling: Your Amazon Package Came Too Fast - Clickhole

Someone worked through the night to make sure you had shampoo at your front door by the break of dawn. Yes, you—you, who definitely could have just gone to the store for it, but instead had everyone running around like this was a rapid-fire organ delivery for a lifesaving transplant.

Furious Trump Imposes 1000% Tariff On Supreme Court - Babylon Bee

“If you want your tariff rate to be zero, you have to let me use tariffs,” Trump reportedly told Chief Justice John Roberts in a heated exchange.

I guess today was the real Liberation Day after all.

Lucy approaches the iMac after practicing her poem. Benedict and Veronica join her.

Did you finish your poem?

Lucy: “Yes.”

What is the title and the author?

Lucy: “The Snail by William Cowper.”

Benedict: “By William Caterpillar.”

He wrote it so long ago, he’s now William Butterfly.

Trump Orders Drone Strike On Venezuelan Olympic Cross-Country Skier - Babylon Bee

“What an explosive finish for Claveau-Laviolette,” she added. “Wow!”

Morning blend.

☕️

Big day.

❤️

I love a good heated steering wheel.

Turning Point USA Announces Alternative Puerto Rico - The Onion

“Finally, Americans will be able to enjoy a family-friendly tropical paradise that actually celebrates traditional values,” said Turning Point CEO Erika Kirk, adding that the island would be known as “Port Rick,” a mistranslation of “Puerto Rico”

Bible Authors Admit They Were Paid $7K For Every Reference To Israel - Babylon Bee

Hey, if the money is available, just take it. I was writing a ton about Israel anyway, for free, so why not make a little extra coin on the side? And people pretend like I’m the one who benefited from the arrangement the most, but I only had one book. You should have seen how much cash Moses came away with from the Pentateuch. ‘Israel this’ and ‘Israel that.’ He was the O.G. moneymaker with that deal.

Fraud Suspicions Arise As Somali Team Wins 734th Gold Medal At Winter Olympics - Babylon Bee

“Their culture just encourages overperformance at traditional Somalian activities… like snowboarding.”

Apple’s “new” version of iWork is such a departure.

Ads and upselling within the app is not something I really expect from them.

Creator Studio doesn’t make sense to pay $130 a year when I only use Pages & Numbers.

Kindergarten daughter requested her picture with the Nex Playground, but insisted that it have its “eyepatch on.”

After Relationship Between Parent And Child Irreparably Broken, Math Homework Is Done - Babylon Bee

According to Jennifer Fromm, her husband and child just finished the 4.5 hour one-on-one ordeal of reducing fractions, a marathon challenge which has now destroyed any hope they might have had of a positive relationship with one another.

Swimming lessons for the kids and I’m poolside wrangling my email.

Tools make it possible.

👨🏻‍💻

Where has the quarter-zip fleece been all my life?

It’s so easy to fall into a rut and forget to challenge the systems you put in place.

My work changed significantly six months ago, and I realized I was still doing things in the order that was optimized for the old work, not the new.

Day one, new plan.

Morning: Create; Afternoon: Administrate.

ChatGPT is better at .htaccess than I ever was.

The best part of the post-walk routine is the deep relaxation feeling when I finally sit down. Like laying down in bed after a really good day.

My brie game is strong.

Journalists Shocked To Be Laid Off From Obsolete Media Outlet That Loses $100 Million Annually - Babylon Bee

At publishing time, the paper’s owner, Jeff Bezos, admitted that he had forgotten that he owned it. “Seems like something I wouldn’t buy,” he said. “Really bad investment.”

Conquering the elements is a huge psychological boost.

It’s a whole different level when you look down and see evidence of yesterday’s work still there.

❄️

I’ve been a stay-at-home dad for 12 years.

It amazes me when I’m out in a public setting, like a doctors office, with my whole crew and the women in that space feel the need to “help” me with my children.

I don’t think I telegraph a lack of confidence or cluelessness about how to shepherd children in public spaces, but the women are always ready to jump in and give it their all.

The most irritating thing is that they default to the tactics that they use, unnaturally loud and rapid speech, directed two grade levels below the child they address. All the while, countering my calm and clear attempts to get the child to do what we need.

I guess they missed the clue that these kids are used to responding to a different type of direction. That clue was when they walked into the room and all of us were seated quietly, reading our books.

Afternoon cold brew and Rosary while watching the snow fall outside.

❄️

Toddler Review: The Slide Is A Stunning Thrill Ride Whose Delights Never Cease - Babylon Bee

Fortunately, the depths of joy found in a slide are such that they can never be fully plumbed. Each ride down is a universe of joy unto itself. The mysteries of the slide are indeed infinite. Did you know you can also climb up the slide?

It worked. ❄️

An evening knot tying project.

Europe Deploys Troops to Greenland in Message to Trump - WSJ

while a 13-person German Army reconnaissance team mobilized for a two-day deployment.

Spare a thought tonight for their families and loved ones who have to manage the separation during this deployment. Both of those missed breakfasts are going to be tough to get through emotionally.

European countries send military forces to Greenland amid Trump acquisition push

Germany deployed a reconnaissance team of 13 personnel, France sent 15 mountain specialists and Sweden, Norway and Britain sent three, two and one officers, respectively

34 whole troops? That kind of show of force is change the thinking in Washington, Beijing, AND Moscow.

Trump To Choose Next Venezuelan President In Inaugural Season Of ‘El Aprendiz’ - Babylon Bee

At publishing time, the networks confirmed that the first episode of El Aprendiz would feature the contestants competing in a challenge to find out which of them could apply the most effective economic pressure to Colombia.

Saturday afternoon scale swap.

Brought back the OG Benchmade blue scales to my first knife, the Bugout, and put the Nebula FatCarbon scales onto the BladeHQ exclusive Bugout that I cared less about.

There’s something exciting about seeing the original knife back in the collection.

‘Conservatives Want Women In Handmaid’s Tale Outfits,’ Declares Liberal Wearing Hijab - Babylon Bee

“They want a culture where young women are stripped of their rights and become totally subjugated to men. Women wouldn’t be allowed to wear anything but their mandated dress, or even leave the house without permission. It’s absolutely disgusting to imagine.”

Democrats Confused Why Venezuelans Cheering Downfall Of Nice, Warm Collectivism - Babylon Bee

“What’s wrong with these people?” asked liberal Stauncey Billups, watching the festivities. “How can they be happy at a time like this, with their dear, sweet collectivism being ripped away? They must not understand how good they’ve had it, being free of rugged individualism. The fools!”

Fresh powder.

❄️