Life imitates art.

❄️

Surgeon General: ‘You Are Supposed To Be Able To Button Your Pants’ - The Onion

Leaving your shirt untucked so no one can tell that your pants are not buttoned or declaring that all your pants shrunk several sizes in the dryer are also unacceptable solutions.

Better luck next time.

Treasury Department Says Systems Hacked by China-Backed Actor - WSJ

The Treasury Department has long been seen as a lucrative target for state-backed hackers because of its work involving international financial issues, including sanctions.

All the more so now with that big, fat, juicy Beneficial Ownership Information database of the name, personal identifiers, and drivers license of the owners of every company in America.

Thanks, Congress!

🇺🇸

In my entire professional life, my favorite week of the year has always been the seven days between Christmas and New Years. Work life collectively slows down, and I have permission to take a deep breath and gather my thoughts. It’s the one time each year that the world collectively checks out of the office. Holiday celebrations, vacations, and trips take over our calendars from meetings, deadlines, and projects. The interruptions slow to a trickle as urgent deadlines are pushed into the next calendar year. I can do some planning, thinking, and gain perspective.

I don’t spend the week setting professional goals for the next year. Instead, I use it as a strategic reset, preparing myself and my space for what’s coming in the new year.

I love this feeling of calm; it’s the best week of the year.

My first day of work in my fully unpacked office.

I never thought this day would come.

‘New Year, New You’ Doesn’t Work. Here’s How You Can Actually Improve Your Life. - WSJ

We want to rid ourselves of the feeling, so vividly described by the English novelist Arnold Bennett, that “the years slip by, and slip by, and slip by, and that [we] have not yet been able to get [our] lives into proper working order.”

Sixteen days later, the final box has been opened.

📦

‘Ok, Who Got Me The MAGA Hat?’ Asks Kamala Harris As Jill Biden Stifles Laughter - Babylon Bee

“Merry Christmas, Kamala! Hope that gift brings you joy!”

… the mood at the party had grown even more uncomfortable after Jill Biden opened her present to find a Fisher Price Doctor’s Kit from the vice president’s office.

Civilization VII To Include ‘Bidenomics’ Tech Tree Upgrade Where Inflation Ruins Everything And Eggs Go Up To $12 - Babylon Bee

But now you can intentionally destroy your civilization from within, adding a new element of strategy as you fight yourself for no reason. … When playing as Joe Biden you can dispatch Hunter to other settlements to secure illicit deals, all while your people slowly starve to death.

Newly Discovered Scroll Reveals Fourth Wise Man Who Brought Baby Jesus A Priceless Lego Millennium Falcon - Babylon Bee

“The writer of the scroll, whom we have yet to identify, makes mention of the fact that the Lego Millennium Falcon was worth at least a year’s wages for an average Judean man. Anyone who possessed such a treasure was wealthy indeed.”

At publishing time, scholars disclosed that the scroll went on to tell of how the young Jesus showed early signs of His divinity by putting together the thousands of pieces of the Millennium Falcon by Himself without even looking at the instructions.

Assad Returns To Ophthalmology At Moscow LensCrafters - The Onion

At press time, Assad was threatening the front desk receptionist with sarin gas after she made a mistake with the scheduling software.

Meeting the new neighbors.

Suspicious? Biden Pardons Hunter For Anything He Might Do Tonight Between 2:30 and 4:17 AM Outside The Capitol Heights Applebee’s - Babylon Bee

“I hereby exempt my son from anything that may or may not occur at this very specific time behind the green dumpster outside Applebees,” said Biden to a bust of Teddy Roosevelt he mistook for a reporter.

End of an era.

Seven years ago, the bozos at Equifax had a massive data breach in which the attackers spent weeks in their networks and databases completely undetected.

They hoovered up my information, without compensation or consent, and then left the backdoor open for thieves to steal it all in one fell swoop.

The fine folks at the plaintiffs bar negotiated a settlement that would pay victims up to $125, depending on the size of the claim.

My settlement payment came through this morning: $7.44 on a virtual gift card.

Elon Musk’s Multibillion-Dollar Tesla Pay Package Rejected by Judge Again - WSJ

McCormick said the plaintiff, a Tesla shareholder named Richard Tornetta, was entitled to $345 million in either cash or Tesla shares.

RIP Delaware

Israel Asks Hezbollah To Please Wait By Pagers For Message Announcing Start Of Ceasefire - Babylon Bee

“The print will be very small, so maybe hold the pager close to your face,” suggested Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu. “Hold it with both hands to keep it steady. If you’re concerned you’ll miss the notice, try keeping the pager held tightly against your ear.”

Walking The Walk: Elon Musk Has Fired Himself From The Department Of Government Efficiency For Using Social Media On The Job - Clickhole

“Useless, ineffective federal workers who squander as much of their daily life on social media as I do have no business taking up resources funded by American taxpayers,” continued Musk in a series of posts on X, applauding his own decision to fire himself as a perfect first step towards “draining the D.C. swamp,” as President Trump has vowed.

I hope he land on his feet!

Trump Ally Holds Up Promotion of Army General Involved in Afghanistan Evacuation - WSJ

“What things like that do is create uncertainty,” said a defense official of Trump’s comments. “The bigger worry is the march toward the politicization of the military. Generals are human as well. The more this happens, the more likely they are to react to it. At some point, they are going to conclude that they have to pick sides to keep advancing.”

They’ve been picking political sides for decades.

A general officer’s sole focus should be lethality. Everything else is a wasteful distraction and disrespectful of the millions of men and women who set their personal needs aside in service of the nation and raised their right hands to protect us all.

Take care your people, train them, equip them, and keep the tip of the spear as sharp as geometrically possible. That’s the job.

IRS Enforcement Money Has Unexpected $20 Billion Hole - WSJ

Then, when Congress wrote the stopgap funding bill that is keeping the government open through Dec. 20, that legislation kept the prior year’s language, effectively repeating the $20 billion enforcement cut. Congressional Republicans told the industry publication Tax Notes that this was part of an intentional strategy and that they tried not to call attention to it before it kicked in. 

lol

Target’s Slide From Cheap Chic to Dull Chore - WSJ

Last week, Target’s share price tumbled more than 20% after the company reported another disappointing quarter and executives lowered financial targets they had set in August.

Losers.

Elon Waiting For Black Friday Half-Off Sale So He Can Buy MSNBC For Just $30 - Babylon Bee

“This week is Black Friday. If I can land the opportunity to hold Rachel Maddow’s fate in my hands for a killer deal, I’m here for it.”

Study Shows Most Depression In Men Can Be Solved By Reading Books About The Civil War While Sitting By Roaring Fire In The Study - Babylon Bee

“The effects seemed to have been even more prominent among test subjects who smoked a pipe while reading and occasionally looked up from the book and nodded their heads before continuing.”

Running to serve.

Farewell dinner.

Beautiful, soft light.

Battlefield Game Changer: Biden Just Approved The Use Of Weaponized Guilt In Ukraine - Clickhole

With Kyiv now free to manipulate Moscow emotionally using feelings of guilt and shame on the battlefield, there’s no doubt Russian forces will soon begin to suffer the low self-esteem, depression, and feelings of powerlessness that go along with being the victim of weaponized guilt. Russia is undoubtedly going to need some pretty powerful self help books and therapists to counter the effects of this new tool in Ukraine’s arsenal.

Uh-Oh: Biden Authorizes Ukraine To Use Holy Hand Grenade Against Russia - Babylon Bee

With time in his presidency running short, Biden has announced authorization for Ukraine to use long-range American missile, anti-personnel mines, and now the Holy Hand Grenade.

Keep your head on a swivel for any white rabbits.

How Spirit Airlines Went From Industry Maverick to Chapter 11 Bankruptcy - WSJ

The Justice Department disagreed, arguing the best way to promote airline competition would be to leave Spirit alone.

Lawyers for the government said that most of Spirit’s problems were temporary and that it would quickly get back on track to resume its rapid expansion.

…

Representatives from the Justice Department declined to comment on Spirit’s bankruptcy.

The Hosts of MSNBC’s ‘Morning Joe’ Changed Their Tune on Trump—Again - WSJ

A person close to NBC saw the move as a way for the “Morning Joe” pair to stay relevant ahead of a second Trump administration.

MSNBC has made strides in the ratings in the past few years and beat CNN on election night, but its viewership has fallen off since then. “Morning Joe” ratings for Nov. 6 to Nov. 14 were down 22% from the program’s average of more than one million viewers for the year through Nov. 5, according to Nielsen data. 

Incredible what a 22% drop in viewership will do to a broadcast journalist. I guess their hyperbolic coverage of the election wasn’t what they really believed; they were just doing it for the eyeballs.

When iOS 18.1 was released on October 28, I updated all of my devices and enabled Apple Intelligence. It’s been three weeks, and today, I disabled the feature.

It’s not just that Apple Intelligence is extremely limited, or that Siri is still terrible; it just wasn’t useful. I don’t use AI writing tools, and the summarization of texts and emails actually increased my mental load.

Ludovico Einaudi has a song that I love, “Pathos.” But when I ask Siri to play it, using the Greek pronunciation (Pā-thōs), she can’t figure it out. When I ask her using the English (Pa-thos), she understands and responds to me with the Greek pronunciation. How long has Siri had to get better at basic stuff like this?!

Instead of approaching each message with a blank slate, I first had to read and parse the summary, then open the actual message, and read and parse it again. I was doing everything twice.

For notifications, I like that I see the person’s name and photo. That’s enough to give me context about what I’m jumping in to, and how quick I need to act and respond. Summarization allowed certain messages to jump the line. As soon as I saw the message notification, I had a summary and my brain went to work on responses.

In the end, Apple Intelligence was a lot like a child. It disrupted my workflow, and distracted me from the task at hand, even if it was a lower priority item. Apple wants to be AI like everyone else, but this implementation was useless.

Spirit Airlines Announces They Will Tell You Why They Went Bankrupt For An Added Fee Of $50 - Babylon Bee

“We would love to explain exactly what went down. Anyone wishing to know can pay a one-time fee of $50 or more, and one of your flight attendants will come down the aisle and whisper it in your ear.”

Rainy start to the week.

⛈️

Kamala Harris Calls Dave Ramsey Show For Advice After Blowing $1 Billion In Three Months - Babylon Bee

“And you say you did this in just three months? Meaning, you spent half a million dollars every hour, even while sleeping, for three straight months? Oh… my… gracious. Where do I begin?”

Back in the homeownership game.

🏡

When the student shows up at Office Hours and the teacher isn’t there.

APPALLING: New Trump Appointee Has Zero Experience Being A Useless Government Bureaucrat - Babylon Bee

“Trump needs to pick people with experience in being faceless cogs in the federal machine who won’t change anything,” said MSNBC anchor Joe Scarborough. “These people are talking about doing their jobs and that scares me.”

Life Hack: Instantly Shave 7 Books Off Your Bible In A Year Plan By Converting From Catholic To Protestant - Babylon Bee

At publishing time, Richard Kickrider had published a new video warning fans against joining the Ethiopian Orthodox Church because their Bible is even longer, clocking in at a whopping 81 books.

Preventing The Worst: Democrats Just Trump-Proofed The Nation By Passing Legislation Ensuring Syrup Can Never Be Named ‘Aunt Jemima’ Again - Decisive Action

The law, called the Non-Jemima Syrup Act of 2024, completely neuters Trump and his GOP Congress of the ability to change the name of any syrup or pancake mix to “Aunt Jemima” at any point or for any reason (including during wartime).

Democrats Vow To Improve Their Outreach To ‘Bigoted Misogynists’ - Babylon Bee

Democrats have reportedly also vowed to do better in reaching out to young men by insulting them and telling them that they are the root of all evil everywhere even more.

Science is fun.

A Triumph for Trump’s Republicans - WSJ Opinion

It isn’t enough said that Mr. Trump did this while enduring a shooting, a second, thwarted assassination attempt, and credible intelligence reports that Iran was trying to kill him. He went into all his rallies knowing that. He showed a lot of guts. Mass media didn’t dwell on this, but regular people did.

A Positive Perspective: The DNC Is Reminding Disappointed Democrats That While Winning Would’ve Been Great, A Second Place Finish Is Nothing To Sneeze At - ClickHole

“We’re not going to let American culture’s toxic obsession with being ‘number one’ stand in the way of recognizing that Kamala Harris beat every candidate except Trump by a margin of over 67 million votes. Other parties would kill for the type of turnout the Democratic party saw this year.”

‘Don’t Despair,’ Kamala Tells Celebrating Nation - Babylon Bee

“Please, don’t — please — do not despair — I’m speaking!” Harris shouted above the celebratory crowd in a speech broadcast to tens of millions of elated Americans. “We are sad today. And sad is not happy. Sad is, in fact, the opposite of happy. And happy is what we wish we were right now. Happy is good. And the opposite of good is bad, which rhymes with sad, which is what we are here in this current time.”

Hang in there, America.

Kim Jong Un’s Risky Embrace of Russia Is About His Regime’s Survival - WSJ

“North Korea’s decision to send troops to kill Europeans will not easily be forgotten in European capitals”

Honey, Where Are My Pants?

A stop-motion film by Benedict.

Biden Calls Trump To Concede The Election - Babylon Bee

At publishing time, Trump had graciously accepted a concession call from Biden, then Harris, then Biden again.

America Unburdens Itself From What Has Been - Babylon Bee

Sources say the unburdening could lead to unprecedented levels of imagining what can be.

… and that was the last time anyone skipped the Al Smith Dinner.

Election Officials Assure Everybody Things Are Looking Good And You Can Go To Sleep And They’ll Take Care Of The Rest Of The Counting Overnight - Babylon Bee

“America, it is well past your bedtime,” scolded former President Obama.

Everyone’s talking about this whole 2024 election today, but I just got a hot tip.

Insiders cannot stop talking about this other election in 2028 that very few people even realize is coming up so soon. It’s going to be the most important election of our lifetimes and you will not believe who they got to run!!!

🇺🇸

Kamala Harris Confused By Process Where She Needs To Get Votes To Be Selected - Babylon Bee

“I don’t get it,” said Harris. “I became Vice President without receiving any votes, and then I became the nominee without receiving any votes… Why do we suddenly need these ‘vote’ things? This makes no sense.”

Stormy Sunday afternoon. Time to take on the closet.

⛈️

It’s always fun to check out the hardware in the hanger.

Quiet, rainy day at the office.

All holy men and women, pray for us.

I hate the efficiency of my dryer. I have 15-20 minutes at my desk after folding a load before the next one is done.

🧺

New ‘Kamalexa’ Edition Of Amazon Echo Will Just Ramble For 10 Minutes Without Ever Answering Your Questions - Babylon Bee

The Kamalexa edition of Amazon Echo is now available for pre-order and is expected to be the best-selling version of the device, once you count the mail-in orders.

It was perfect walking weather this morning.

🌑

Thankfully it was mostly treats.

It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown

🍿

Biden Calls On Deplorable Garbage Nazis To Tone Down The Rhetoric - Babylon Bee

Vice President Kamala Harris’s campaign agreed with Biden, issuing a press release calling for the arrest and imprisonment of all Trump supporters in an effort to heal division in the country.

Report: Millions Of Garbage Bags Seen Lining Up Outside Polling Stations - Babylon Bee

“We had no idea how many bags of garbage there were in this country,” said pollster Richard Blinken.

Usually when the house is quiet, the kids are doing something that will get them in trouble.

Sometimes they’re just helping themselves to a snack.

Awesome: Panera Bread Has Launched A Patreon For Fans To Support Its Soups And Salads - Clickhole

those who subscribe at the $25 per month “Bread Bowl Fanatic” tier will get the chance to have a 10-minute Zoom with a real-life Panera employee.

Can we ask them to bring the good menu back?

American Airlines Draws the Line Against Boarding-Group Cutters - WSJ

All major U.S. airlines do their best to maintain boarding order since priority boarding is a perk for frequent fliers, credit-card holders and big spenders, and is often available for purchase. But American is the first to develop an automated system that instantly flags offenders. 

How was this not already a thing?

Chad Vossen, a 46-year-old chief creative officer for a video marketing company in Virginia, knew nothing of the test until he and a colleague tried to board in Group 6 instead of Group 8 for a flight to Phoenix. They had done it on other American flights and others, in hopes of avoiding gate-checking their camera equipment.

So he’s cool with the people he cheated having to gate-check their bags?

JPMorgan Chase Sues Four Customers for Bank Fraud Seen in Viral TikToks - WSJ

The bank sued four individuals in federal court Monday for exploiting a so-called glitch at Chase Bank ATMs that went viral on social media over the summer. The individuals deposited fake checks into their checking accounts and withdrew thousands of dollars, JPMorgan said in the lawsuits.

These brazen scams are absolutely wild.

Trying something new on the breakfast menu; homemade slow-cooked oatmeal with apples and cinnamon.

Reviews: “Smells like fall.”

A little quiet reading time on the couch with the pajama’d children. Trying to make the stillness of morning last a few extra minutes.

📖

Almost every time I walk through IKEA I discover a product that I always knew I needed, but didn’t know existed. Upping my guest linen game with some $1.99 storage bags.

iOS 18.1 Is Out Now: Apple Intelligence, New Siri Look and AirPod Hearing Aids Arrive - WSJ

Yes, Apple’s long-awaited entry into generative AI is here.

🥱

The Presidential Election is upon us, and I managed to vote last week. Since having children, I’ve early voted in each election. This year was the hardest I’ve had to work to get it done. My normal polling place was overrun the two times that I went, so we ended up at a more obscure location.

I bought groceries for my family of six this morning. I grant that I do not always buy the cheapest ingredients. My goal is not to have the lowest cost corn-fed family, but a reasonable menu that fills everyone up with something good. I shop at Walmart and trade down to generics on most categories, when able.

Thanks to my six year habit of online grocery shopping, I have prices from the last time I went to the polls, October 2020. Granted, this was during the supply chain shortage, and even then prices felt high. Sadly, things went from bad to bleak.

The Consumer Price Index is based on a “basket of goods.” Here’s my personal grocery price index:

My grocery bill is up an average of 29%. If my grocery budget bought a full year of groceries in 2020, in 2024 it would only buy my family food through September 16.

That’s a whole lot of hurt every single week from the folks who say they’re “helping” me.

It’s going to be a good day.

The Babylon Bee Editorial Board Endorses Kamala Harris For President - Babylon Bee

In 2020, the Babylon Bee famously endorsed “Dave” for President, discovering only later that Dave was a role played by actor Kevin Kline in a movie that hit the box office in 1993. This year, we resolved to endorse an actual person, and that person is Kamala Harris.

Great movie. 🍿

Joe Rogan Interviews Former McDonald’s Fry Cook - Babylon Bee

The since-retired McDonald’s employee, named Donald, had just days ago been photographed serving up French fries at a Philadelphia drive-through. Incredibly, less than a week later, the former fry cook had landed a spot on the most downloaded podcast in the world.

Trump Accused Of Inappropriately Touching The Hearts Of Millions Of Americans - Babylon Bee

The latest scandal threatened to impact the upcoming presidential election, as millions of accusers from every state began to pour in. Victims of all ages and from across the socio-economic spectrum claimed to have been truly touched by Trump.

Democrats Explain Trump Was Going To Be Hitler During His First Term, But He Forgot - Babylon Bee

According to retired General John Kelly, former President Trump often talked about how he kept meaning to find time to be Hitler, but he kept getting distracted by other things. “On several occasions, Trump told me word for word, ‘This is it. This is the week I’m going to go be Hitler.’ But then, Trump would get started doing something like handing out candy to Minions and he would completely forget,” explained Kelly.

Next time I need a lock for a gate, I will buy an outdoor rated lock. That way I won’t end up spending $75 for the locksmith to remove a $10 lock again.

🔒

Kamala Harris’s Pitch to Black Men - WSJ Opinion

The Vice President claims to follow the science, but she ignores the growing evidence about marijuana’s mental, physical and social harms. It is especially damaging to young people whose brains are still developing. Many black communities in California have opposed pot dispensaries in their neighborhoods because they don’t want their young people on dope.

Tips For Saving Money On Groceries - The Onion

Hire a private investigator to take photographs of Kroger cashiers in compromising situations that you can use to blackmail them during checkout. 

Big changes coming at work, re-thinking everything. Checked out Arc after hearing about it for months. This is so good!

Couple Denied Marriage License After Failing To Prove Love Beyond Reasonable Doubt - The Onion

Judge Luther Hanscom, whose ruling found insufficient grounds to suggest Fields and Garcia’s bond was meant to last forever, concluding it was plausible they were participants in nothing more than a simple fling.

Time to eat.

A Pop Star Wanted the Filibuster Dead. Democrats Are Still Trying to Kill It. - WSJ

It wasn’t a topic Senate Democrats were expecting musician John Legend to ask them about. But during a 2019 donor event held at Legend’s California home, the pop star pressed lawmakers on how they would actually pass the policies they were proposing—given the hurdle of the Senate filibuster. That rule requires 60 votes for most bills to advance, rather than a simple majority, and Legend wanted Democrats to end it.

I’m sure John Legend spent years thinking deeply about the practical implications of this rule change. After all, Celebrity = Genius.

Sunrise over the lake.

Let’s fly.

Exclusive | U.S. Port Workers Agree to End Their Strike - WSJ

President Biden applauded the agreement, saying in a statement, “Collective bargaining works, and it is critical to building a stronger economy from the middle out and the bottom up.”

My guess is the terminals and shipping lines will eat the 62% increase in their labor cost and it definitely won’t show up in the form of higher prices on the few consumer goods that are transported by boat.

Rainy afternoon.

9 Great Investments To Help You Survive A Kamala Harris Administration - Babylon Bee

Jewish beeper company: Business is booming for these guys.

Dawn Unveils New Small Silver Bell For Summoning Butler To Deal With Dishes - The Onion

Protect your soft, supple hands from the curse of labor and never again strain your voice while shouting for your manservant. Give the Dawn bell a dainty shake and consider the dishes done.

Adding this to my Christmas list.

In Brief Moment Of Lucidity, Biden Endorses Trump - Babylon Bee

The stunning incident was the first momentary instance of Biden showing any sense of clarity, coherence, and good judgment, as he paused to put on a “TRUMP 2024” baseball cap during a campaign stop at a local fire station.

It’s 2024 and it took 41 minutes on the phone to cancel my home internet service.

And if you cancel three days into a 30 day billing cycle, you have to pay for full service through the entire cycle.

Internet service providers are absolute garbage.

Nation Eagerly Anticipates Two Brightest Minds In Country Meeting In Respectful, Productive Dialogue - Babylon Bee

A recent survey showed Americans can’t wait to witness the cordial meeting of two towering intellects when Donald Trump and Kamala Harris gather to thoughtfully chew over the most pressing issues of the day.

Cybertruck Owner Brags About High-Tech Pedal That Makes Vehicle Accelerate When Pressed  - The Onion

he felt like “some sort cyberpunk bounty hunter” when he used his foot to apply pressure to a lever that increased the vehicle’s speed in proportion to how much he pressed the innovative device.

It’s remarkable how quickly I forget things. Just a few months ago, we started our summer vacation, allowing me to dedicate more of my focus to work tasks throughout the day. Sure, the kids would still ping me throughout the day, but I was able to complete tasks large and small with ease.

School’s back in session, and I’m managing not only my to-do list, but the to-do lists of three of my children. As one child is given direction and I settle back into my project, the next arrives. It’s a truly uncomfortable feeling.

In moments like these, when my mind is constantly being distracted, I fall back onto my systems. My task list is divided into groups by priority, everything I need to do is in there, and I no longer have to track or remember what needs to be done. With a calm inbox, I can step in and out of my work, help my kids move forward in theirs, and avoid the delay and frustration that comes with distraction.

It is not easy, but it is doable. When I trust the system, the impossible become possible.

Back to Day One.

First day of school, cool outside, windows open, everyone’s at their desks.

🍂📘

End of summer.

Saturdays are for errands & cleaning.

🧺

End of an era.

Philanthropy FTW! The Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation Just Distributed 5,000 ‘Caution Wet Floor’ Signs To Some Of The Slipperiest Places In The World - Clickhole

the Gates Foundation has made it their mission to “slash global slipping rates in half, if not eradicate slipping entirely”—a cause inspired by Bill’s own experience slipping on a waxed floor at Microsoft headquarters while running towards a computer he wanted to turn on.

Study: Crows Intelligent Enough To Steal Trinkets, But Foolish Enough To Think Material Goods Will Solve Problems - The Onion

Goertz revealed that their findings had also indicated several species of crow were capable of mimicking human speech without understanding that sometimes it’s best to just sit back and listen.

Trump Props Up Trapper Keeper Around Campaign Plan To Prevent Kamala From Copying - Babylon Bee

According to sources, a representative from the Federal Election Commission (FEC) gave Harris a stern warning and told her to get back to work. Kamala Harris’s eyes darted quickly back to her notes — a blank piece of paper with the heading “My Presidential Plan” written at the top.

Kamala Explains 93% Of Staff Quit Because They Couldn’t Handle The Joy - Babylon Bee

“They quit because they are literally overdosing on joy,” Harris explained. “Almost no one on earth can stand being around this much joy for more than a few weeks. It’s my cross to bear.”

Philosopher’s Friends Constantly Pitching Him Ideas For Dilemmas - The Onion

Honestly, everybody thinks they can be a philosopher, but just because something metaphysically resonant happened to you doesn’t mean it would make a good dilemma.

The goal of evil is to divide, separate, isolate, shame, destroy.

The goal of Christ is to heal and unite, to harmonize in love.

And that’s the great battle that’s always underway.

- Fr. Boniface Hicks, OSB

I’m ‘bout to have a good day.

My favorite morning sky.

The End Of His Prime: This Man No Longer Has The Fertile Imagination And Boundless Creative Energy To Build His Own Subway Sandwich And Has To Order From The Regular Menu - Clickhole

“Let’s face it, building your own sandwich is a young man’s game, and I’m just not young anymore.”

After Two Weeks With Kamala, Tim Walz Announces He Has Signed Back Up With National Guard And Requested Deployment To Iraq - Babylon Bee

Though leaving the ticket after only two weeks, campaign staffers report that Walz actually set the record for the longest time any person has ever worked with Kamala.

Taliban Holds Parade In Honor Of Kamala’s Achievements In Afghanistan - Babylon Bee

“We could never have become this strong without Kamala Harris,” said Taliban spokesterrorist Hassan Al-Samir. “Though we were once a rag-tag band of goat herders causing trouble in the mountains, we are now a fully equipped military force. Thank you, Joe Biden and Kamala Harris. You helped make us what we are today.”

Ruled By Fear: This Man Irrationally Refuses To Fly Despite There Being Almost Zero Chance He Would Ever Wind Up In A Sixth Plane Crash - Clickhole

Accidents like the five that have befallen Semple are so rare, in fact, that it’s actually far more likely that he’ll be struck by lightning than it is that he’ll once more hear that now-familiar whine of an aircraft he’s on plummeting from the sky.

Taylor Swift Jet Launches Retaliatory Strike On ISIS Stronghold - Babylon Bee

At publishing time, sources revealed Swift had already begun writing an upcoming song to take further revenge on the terrorists.

Can’t Be Good: The Bus Driver Is Currently On A Zoom Call, Not Like A Friend Catch Up Or Anything, Like An All-Hands Meeting For An Entirely Different Job - Clickhole

She just shared her screen to show everyone else a spreadsheet and now she’s going on and on about P functions, which has to be illegal if you’re also driving a bus full of 25 people.

I’ve spent the last four years putting together a pretty awesome knife collection. I’m thinking about challenging myself to carry a different one each day and review it here on my blog.

It’s been a long nine days.

‘We Applaud Caesar For Doing The Right Thing And Stepping Down,’ Says Senator Holding Bloody Knife - Babylon Bee

Cassius and his fellow senator Marcus Junius Brutus, who were both present at a hastily organized retirement party for Caesar, said that the former Emperor who had not been seen for the last six days displayed “true patriotism” in selflessly bowing out.

Activision Announces Release Of ‘Call Of Duty: Moderately Sloped Roof’ - Babylon Bee

“This is the most difficult, extreme campaign we have ever made,” said Masterson. “You have to literally crawl on your tummy up a slight slope and not fall down. Then, you have roughly twenty minutes to line up your shot. I’m light-headed just talking about it.”

Dems Pull Off Successful Insurrection - Babylon Bee

According to sources, Democratic party elites have worked tirelessly to overthrow the candidate chosen by voters, using everything from donation boycotts to blackmail. “It took everything we have, but we have deposed the democratically elected candidate of our party,” said former President Obama proudly. “Democracy has been saved.”

Barack Obama Strikes Again - WSJ Opinion

As No. 2 in the Biden White House, Ms. Harris was in a key position to witness the president’s decline. Yet she too was happy to keep it from the American people. Now she asks them to trust her with the presidency?

Everyone in the room has an obligation to explain their conduct on this point.

Another Coronation for Kamala - WSJ Opinion

Ms. Harris said on Sunday that she intends to “earn” her party’s nomination. That would be a change for a politician who’s floated to the top in a one-party Democratic state with powerful patrons boosting her. The upshot has been that she has neither the substantive record nor the skills that other candidates might.

She has a real shot at winning in November, but her soup-to-nuts uncontested ascent poses very real risks.

Splish, splash

‘Let’s Settle This At The Ballot Box,’ Says Party That Tried To Kick Trump Off Ballots - Babylon Bee

“Let me be perfectly clear,” said President Biden. “The idea that political violence, look, this is America, and there is no place for semi-assault, automatic weapons in our – well, anyway. In November, we will sort things out at the battle box!”

Goliath Claims He Only Lost Because He Fought David On Slightly Sloped Surface - Babylon Bee

According to the scroll, the Israelites were quick to point out that the hill David was standing on only had a five-degree slope. The Philistines, however, vehemently maintained that it wasn’t a fair fight because it violated safety rules for Goliath to try to fight on any sort of inclined terrain.

At publishing time, another portion of the scroll revealed Goliath explaining that he was just one quick head turn away from David’s sling causing nothing but a scratched ear.

Quarantining the Conspiracy Swamps - WSJ Opinion

Mr. Biden was employing a metaphor, however inapt given our current political distemper. He wasn’t giving orders to anyone to shoot Mr. Trump, and if he wanted to do so he wouldn’t do it in public. Mr. Collins is among those who think Mr. Biden lacks the mental acuity to be President, but he then accuses him of masterminding a conspiracy.

The Shooting of Donald Trump - WSJ Opinion

The near assassination of Donald Trump could be a moment that catalyzes more hatred and an even worse cycle of violence. If that is how it goes, God help us.

Or it could be a redemptive moment that leads to introspection and political debate that is fierce but not cast as Armageddon. The country was spared the worst on Saturday and this is a chance to pull out of a partisan death spiral. That is the leadership Americans are desperate to see.

Dinner in a food hall

The world is a dangerous place.

The trend towards a full-blown gerontocracy is deeply troubling. The American voter is more concerned with getting their team into power than what’s best for the country.

The President is largely incoherent, Mitch McConnell freezes, John Fetterman had a stroke on the campaign trail and was elected very early in his recovery, and Rep. Jennifer Wexford has a severe neurological condition that has taken away her speech.

We cannot regain our youth or our health, and there’s great dignity and maturity in acknowledging those sobering thoughts.

The business of protecting the free world and governing the world’s preeminent democracy takes serious people who are leaders in their field and at the top of their game. Safeguarding our liberty requires nothing less.

Biden Accidentally Introduces Ukraine’s Zelensky as ‘President Putin’ - WSJ

“Now I want to hand it over to the President of Ukraine, who has as much courage as he has determination, ladies and gentlemen, President Putin,” Biden said. He quickly corrected himself: “President Putin? He’s going to beat President Putin. President Zelensky. I’m so focused on beating Putin, we’ve gotta worry about it.”

I just opened the Voice Memos app and found years old recordings of my infant daughters laughing.

It made me smile.

Janet Yellen Reassures Nation That Biden’s Dementia Is Transitory - Babylon Bee

Yellen’s statement was endorsed by several White House insiders, including Jill Biden, Hunter Biden, Ashley Biden, James Biden, and Valerie Biden Owens.

Dozens of planes fly over us everyday without our noticing, flying to destinations near and far. It’s a small rhythm of life that occurs, often without our knowing.

Frequently, I’ll pull up the FlightRadar24 to see what kind of plane it is, and where it’s heading. Many of these planes are on international trips, starting or ending a ridiculously long trip.

Regardless, of the destination, hundreds of people are sitting on an airplane just a few miles above my head. That is an amazing thing to contemplate.

How Biden’s Inner Circle Worked to Keep Signs of Aging Under Wraps - WSJ

In April, Murray, the high-ranking senator from Washington state, told the Journal that she hadn’t seen a change in Biden’s acuity during years of meeting with him. “He engages in a very personal way, asking questions, making comments,” she said.

On Monday, Murray said in a statement that Biden should consider his legacy in deciding whether to remain in the race: “We need to see a much more forceful and energetic candidate on the campaign trail in the very near future in order for him to convince voters he is up to the job.”

WSJ published a widely-critized feature on June 4th with the headline, Behind Closed Doors, Biden Shows Signs of Slipping. The very next day, Politico published an article on the fall-out, Biden Team Seeths Over Another Age Piece - and Sours on The Journal.

In the Politico piece, Nancy Pelosi and Sen. Murray were, “quick to say that their on-the-record rebuttals did not make it into The Journal’s final piece. Murray said in an interview she spoke to the paper twice.”

In the span of four weeks, Sen. Murray has gone from ridiculing those who dared question Biden’s mental acquity to publicly, and politely, suggesting that he get lost.

Biden to Congressional Democrats: I’m ‘Running This Race to the End’ - WSJ

President Biden dug in Monday, telling a broad array of Democrats that he was committed to “running this race to the end” and that it was time for conversations about changing nominees to stop, as concerns about his candidacy grew louder.

Didn’t they get the memo? If you’re against Joe, you’re an enemy of democracy!

White House press secretary Karine Jean-Pierre was pressed repeatedly Monday on why an expert on Parkinson’s disease visited the White House eight times from July 2023 to March of this year, according to visitor logs. She said Biden has seen a neurologist three times as part of three annual physicals—most recently in February—and that there has been no finding of Parkinson’s. But she would not address or explain the Parkinson’s expert’s visits and cited privacy reasons.

He had a Groupon for White House tours.

ABC News’ exclusive interview with Biden: Full transcript

PRESIDENT JOE BIDEN: I’ll feel as long as I gave it my all and I did the good as job as I know I can do, that’s what this is about. (emphasis added)

I’m not sure that’s better than, “goodest job.”

My greatest fear about the future of drone delivery is what happens when the pregnant women find out.

Andrea Lawful-Sanders, WURD Radio part ways after she used questions provided by Biden’s campaign - CBS Philadelphia

A Biden administration official told CBS News Saturday that the White House was not involved in any preparation for the two radio interviews. The official added that providing questions to interviewers is not standard practice for the White House, and the campaign is not planning to do it again going forward.

Not involved in any preparation, except for preparing the exact questions? And they’re not planning to do it again, so they did do it already?

These Men Are on the Front Lines of the Abortion-Rights Movement - WSJ

“The whole point of our organization is to get guys who are passively pro-choice but would not speak up, show up, donate—to get them to do those things,” said Florida-based Deputy Executive Director Aaron Bos-Lun. “It is the role of men to be additive, it isn’t the role of men to be dictating when it comes to reproductive freedom.”

Men advocating for abortion is not additive; it’s self-serving.

Just about perfect.

The ‘MAGA Supreme Court’ Doesn’t Exist - WSJ Opinion

Democrats denounce the Supreme Court for making the Presidency too powerful, while they also denounce the Justices for stopping Mr. Biden’s unilateral regulatory actions, including his effort to forgive $430 billion of student loans without Congress. Who really thinks he’s king? The Justices are keeping each branch in its constitutional lane, and those decisions will apply to President Trump, if he wins, the same as they do to President Biden.

Biden Aides Wrote Questions for Radio Hosts Who Interviewed Him - WSJ

Biden’s aides, grappling with the biggest political crisis of Biden’s career, sought to exert control over the Wednesday interview. “I was sent eight questions to choose from,” Lawful-Sanders told The Wall Street Journal.

The purpose of a free press is to hold leaders to account, not to lob scripted softballs at them while pretending it’s an “interview.”

Publishing is the best part of writing.

👨🏻‍💻

Exploring new rails 🚉

Humans make progress and prosper when they learn new things.¹

I entered the workforce in the golden age of online leadership tutorials. It was 2014 and voices like Michael Hyatt, Jon Acuff, and Jeff Goins were breathing new life into business blogging and podcasting. They synthesized their collective knowledge and shared it openly. Although their voices have quieted since then, those lessons shaped me professionally.

One of the primary lessons that these teachers shared was that, “Leaders are readers; readers are leaders.” Most adults don’t read. My son is a voracious consumer of books, and brings them up to the adults he encounters in his day. I took him to get a haircut earlier this month, and he launched into an explainer on his latest book with the barber. I sat in my chair, in pain, as the middle-aged barber told him that they didn’t read; they preferred movies. The reality is, although the total knowledge of the world is contained in books, most adults haven’t cracked one since they were last required to in school.

This juxtaposition caused a simmering curiosity in my mind for the last decade. What is it about the simple act of reading that turns someone into a leader? How can 5, 10, or 12 books a year take an individual from average to great? As I read the quote above from Arthur Books, it clicked.

The act of reading itself is unassuming; you, on a couch, holding a bunch of paper and ink bound together. That’s not what transforms the reader. Reading ignites the brain; it enables the brain to do what it was made to do. Our minds are like sponges, soaking up whatever information they can. When you feed your brain knowledge, rather than empty consumption, it pulls the mind closer to its fullest potential. It stores that knowledge, cross-references it with previously learned facts, and creates new synergies. New ideas are created, and energy is released that propels you forward, improving your productivity and performance and making you a de facto leader in your life.

Movies are great, and so is napping by the pool and taking it easy. When there is time for leisue, choose its highest form: reading. It will always leave you satisified.

Elderly Surgeon Assures Patients He’s Still Lucid Between 10 A.M. And 4 P.M. - Babylon Bee

Despite the sudden calls from nursing staff for Dr. Williams to retire due to his mental decline, he has thus far steadfastly refused. “Nothing but the Lord Almighty could make me stop operating on people,” said Dr. Williams. “I know my mind and my surgical skills aren’t so good anymore. Heck, I know I hallucinate in the OR and forget where I am. That’s not going to stop me from cutting on people, not after all I did to claw my way to the top of the surgical department. I can still do this. They will have to pry the scalpel out of my cold, dead hands.”

At publishing time, the hospital had decided to just let Dr. Williams keep butchering patients as he had brought in a lot of donations to the hospital and it would be a lot of hassle to make him quit.

The chaos of logbooks is always irritating to me. When I’m done, though, the sense of accomplishment is always very real.

JPMorgan Warns Customers: Prepare to Pay for Checking Accounts - WSJ

Lake said Chase is planning to pass on the costs of higher regulation and charge customers for a number of now-free services, including checking accounts and wealth-management tools, if the rules become law in their current form.

Chase charges a variable APR on their personal credit cards of 20.49% - 29.24%.

But yeah, they’re going broke on your free checking account, which pays 0% interest and also generates interchange revenue.

Biden and Democrats Have Truly Worked to ‘Beat Medicare’ - WSJ Opinion

Joe Biden’s history of seeking to abolish Medicare goes all the way back to 1975. That year, the then-freshman senator introduced so-called “sunset” legislation to terminate within six years “all provisions of law in effect . . . which authorize new budget authority for an unspecified number of fiscal years”—and to limit all new laws to authorize only four years of spending. Budget experts have confirmed that, as written and without further congressional action, the bill would have sunset the Medicare and Social Security programs, which is exactly what now-President Biden has alleged Republicans want to do.

4th of July carry.

Biden’s Frailty Isn’t Breaking News - WSJ Opinion

In the run-up to the South Carolina primary that set Mr. Biden on a path to the nomination, I saw him at several events. At a small community center in North Charleston, S.C., Mr. Biden was scheduled to speak on his housing plan at—if memory serves—10 a.m. He was an hour late. When he arrived and began speaking, he looked and sounded so enervated that—this is not an exaggeration—I thought he might be dying.

He moved slowly, slurred his words badly, repeatedly said “North Carolina” when he meant North Charleston, and plainly had no idea why he was there or what his housing plan was. I found this alarming, but everybody else in the room—supporters and other reporters—evidently didn’t.

It’s easy to forget the 2020 cycle, it was so long ago. But there was a reason the Biden campaign kept him in the house and it wasn’t just COVID. He did what hid things best: scripted events and interviews. The gaffs were just the folksy Joe being Joe.

Now we know all about the Emperor’s new clothes.

Special guest on today’s podcast: Mary, the Mother of God

My absolute favorite time of day is in late afternoon, when everyone naturally and simultaneously trends towards rest.

The busy, noisy, loud house reverts to the stillness of early morning, and all is quiet.

🏡

Happy Birthday, America!

🇺🇸

Summer nights

Man Successfully Corrects Someone’s Grammar But Oh No! Now He Doesn’t Have Any Friends! - Babylon Bee

What, was I supposed to just let it slide and keep going with the conversation? Here I stand — my conscience is bound by the Oxford Dictionary of English Grammar and it is neither safe nor right to go against good grammar!

Its okay their, buddy!

That escalated quickly. How is it July already?

Hanging above my desk, just above my line of sight, hangs my degree in Philosophy. It’s been more than a decade since I walked across that stage, and though it is always before me, it more or less blends into the scenery of my office.

I use my degree in almost every moment of every day. In a very real sense, it shaped how I perceive the world. Yet, philosophy is not the sort of hard skill that you consciously apply during your working hours. Rather, it’s the framework through which every bit of information passes through.

In my years on campus, I read dozens of dense philosophy books each semester. With the passage of time, I find myself wondering, as an adult, why I persisted through that workload. Unpacking the most complex thoughts of the brightest minds to have walked the planet, and paying for the privilege, seems to be nothing more than drudgery.

Two weeks ago, I came across the work of Arthur C. Brooks. Although he styles himself as a happiness scientist, and he’s a Harvard professor who lectures on the science of happiness, he is much more than that. He’s studied music professionally, is a trained economist, philosopher, and now a popular social scientist. Add to that fascinating academic background is the fact that he’s a convert to Catholicism, whose conversion was sparked by seeing the image of Our Lady of Guadalupe.

I picked up one of his books, signed up for his newsletter, and have listened to several extended interviews he’s done with various podcasts. Going through his work, and unpacking his ideas, I feel spots of my brain lighting up again. I’m instantly taken back to fall on campus, sitting in my room with the windows open, exploring life with the world’s great thinkers.

Philosophy is a wonderful thing to study professionally; it’s a field of study so ubiquitous that it finds its application at work, at home, at play, and at rest.

Top Democrats Urge Party to Stand Behind Biden - WSJ

Pelosi said Biden had a bad night but that he remains sharp and his record paints a contrast with a potential second Trump term. “We see Joe Biden up close. We know how attuned he is to the issues, how informed he is,” she said on CNN. 

This argument absolutely vaporizes the second the tape rolls.

Arthur Brooks, writing in his book, Build the Life You Want: The Art and Science of Getting Happier

The macronutirents of happiness are enjoyment, satisfaction, and purpose.

The first is enjoyment. This might sound like pleasure-“feeling good.” However, this isn’t correct. Pleasure is animal; enjoyment is completely human…Enjoyment takes an urge for pleasure and adds two important things: communication and consciousness…Pleasure is easier than enjoyment, but it is a mistake to settle for it, because it is fleeting and solitary. All addictions involve pleasure, not enjoyment.

To be happier, you should never settle for pleasure, but rather make it into enjoyment. Of course, that involves a certain cost. Enjoyment requires an investment of time and effort. It means forgoing an easy, effortless thrill. It often means saying no to cravings and temptations. Sometimes, getting enjoyment is hard.

pages 9–10

Cheerful contrast.

Biden Wants to Be Tough With Russia and Iran—but Wants Low Gas Prices Too - WSJ

In another example of the collision of foreign and energy policies, earlier this year, Washington asked Ukraine to stop attacking some Russian refineries with drones after the damage rattled global diesel and gasoline markets.

USA vs. Canada: A Fair And Unbiased Comparison - Babylon Bee

Population Density

Canada: Most people try to live as close to the US as possible

USA: Most people try to live as far away from Canada as possible

Winner: USA

A Dire Warning: Marine Biologists Are Sounding The Alarm That If Any More Red Lobsters Shut Down There Will Soon Be So Much Lobster Mass In The Ocean That Sea Levels Will Rise 20 Feet By 2025 - Clickhole

Environmentally minded consumers can still have an impact by eating at the remaining Red Lobsters multiple times a day, forgoing their Cheddar Bay Biscuits for an additional lobster plate, and distributing Red Lobster coupons and gift cards to everyone in their circle.

Today I’ve consumed American, Italian, and Icelandic water.

What a time to be alive.

💧

Quiet afternoon on the ramp

Put in the work.

My Headspace playlist is really awesome for deep work.

I really love the slow pace of Friday afternoons in summer.

Adoremus in aeternum Sanctissimum Sacramentum.

Love Song for the Bride by Brother Isaiah

🎼

Every worker remembers the dread of receiving their first paycheck and seeing just how much Federal and state tax authorities intercept between their gross and net. Federal and state income tax withholding are a part of the withholdings, but another big chunk is for Social Security and Medicare.

The total payment owed on wages is 15.3%, split 50-50 between worker and employer. But what if, instead of the current slush-fund/IOU Social Security system, that 15.3% was put into a retirement account for the employee?

A new policy catching fire is to auto-enroll workers in an employer’s 401k. What if instead we just auto-enrolled employees in a retirement account funded with their Social Security payroll taxes? The account could be as locked down and as inaccessible as the current tax: gone until you hit retirement age.

If you saved no other money, only made $40,000 a year, and we assume a 7% return, you’d have $1.5M at retirement. If we assume the average S&P 500 return of 11%, that account would be worth $5.47M. Those are some pretty good returns.

The average monthly benefit for Social Security retirees is in 2023 was somewhere around $1,700 a month or $20,400 a year. If you lived in retirement for 20 years, from age 65-85, that’d be a total Social Security benefit of $480,000. That’s only $1.02M less than if the money had just been set aside specifically for you.

I’m not sure the best solution for dealing with currently retired and nearly retired workers, but it’s clear that the current system is both unworkable and fundamentally unjust; taxes are taken by force of law at 15.3% of wages and returned at below market rates.

Perhaps a plan that treats adults like grown-ups might work better.

Go in peace.

On his first day in office, New York District Attorney Alvin Bragg issued a memo to his staff outlining which crimes were no longer to be prosecuted in the City of New York. Among them were marijuana misdemeanors, trespassing, prostitution, and some types of burglaries. Twenty-four months on, crime has increased to a degree that the National Guard’s deployment to protect the citizens of New York on the subway system is expected to be extended through the summer.

Now comes Mr. Bragg and his office of public servants into the courts of New York, not to protect the citizens who are daily accosted or have their property stolen, but to prosecute a famous New Yorker, disliked by many, for a bookkeeping crime committed eight years ago. A prosecution that was declined by previous state and federal prosecutors, now charged and tried not in the early days of Mr. Bragg’s tenure, but in the middle of a national election.

The jury has rendered their verdict, and the circus on all sides erupted. Pathetic as it may seem to normal Americans, to let 34 counts of falsifying a business record drive one’s identity and happiness, that’s where we are. It’s easy to be unsurprised, especially when a quarter of the seated jury lists “TikTok” as a major source of their news.

A bedrock principle in our justice system is prosecutorial discretion and its close cousin, the interests of justice. It’s why we release the merchant of death Viktor Bout in exchange for an American hostage held by a foreign power. It’s why no prosecutor brought criminal charges against Hillary Clinton for her reckless handling of our nation’s secrets. She was wrong, but there was no justice to be served by prosecuting a failed nominee for President at retirement age. It would only stir up trouble.

Many are puzzlingly giddy at this verdict. They’ve waited many years for this day, first for a crime to be discovered and articulated, and then for a verdict to be rendered. What was the crime? Well, hard to say. No matter, they believed in their heart of hearts that Trump was guilty of something, anything, if only it could be found! They kept the faith and found thirty-four false entries in a ledger that certainly contains millions of entries. A crime was located!

They, too, are puzzled that all are not joining them in seeing Trump’s plain guilt. It’s so obvious: an eight year old case, presided over by a judge who contributed financially to Trump’s political opponents, based on bookkeeping, brought by an openly-political prosecutor, built on the testimony of a disbarred attorney convicted of perjury, who admitted to lying at his own sentencing and to theft from Trump’s company, and a porn star, who owes Trump civil damages in a separate defamation lawsuit, who previously testified that she speaks to ghosts and that, after years of saying that the liaison was consensual, now thinks that maybe it was an assault? Not exactly a slam-dunk of persuasion.

The legal process has much further to go, but it doesn’t matter; the real damage is already done, and it’s not been done to Donald Trump.

The damage is the circular firing squad that we’ve formed in our nation. Blue prosecutors going after Red politicians only serves to invite Red prosecutors to go after Blue politicians.

The DA’s theory of the case was that Trump’s crime was falsifying business records in a conspiracy to win a national election. What about Secretary of State Antony Blinken rounding up those 51 former intelligence officials to write a letter saying the Hunter Biden laptop was Russian disinformation, though we now know that at the time of its writing they knew it was the genuine article?

Mr. Morell acknowledged he had two goals with the statement: to “share our concern with the American people,” and to “help Vice President Biden” “win the election.”

Will the District Attorney in Wichita, Kansas indict everyone involved? Will Antony Blinken have to surrender his passport while out on bail?

This is the future we’ve opened ourselves up to; Blue States for Blue People, Red States for Red People. All of this corrosive behavior over the intense love or hatred of a singular man.

Trump is by no means innocent in all this; he’s the king of the own goal. Since losing the 2020 election, his antics have ratcheted up beyond the outrageous. His singular focus on himself and his own grievances is to the detriment of the country and the political party he claims to lead. The federal cases against him appear much stronger, and much more clear-cut.

We’re not fifty nations or even two; we’re one nation. The Baby Boomer generation has done a terrible job of stewardship of this great American experiment. Now that they set off into retirement, it’s time for us to put our one nation back together.

We’re in for rough seas, in this election and beyond. The results will be rejected by a great many, as has been characteristic of national elections in the last 24 years.

But there is reason to hope; this Nation has overcome much bigger challenges and accomplished harder things, and we’ve done so by working together.

Trump Verdict Makes Everyone Look Bad - WSJ Opinion

Team Biden also needs to realize that Mr. Bragg’s prosecutorial shenanigans have caused some GOP Trump skeptics to flip. One such Trump doubter told me the verdict was “the last straw,” convincing her that Democrats “do not respect anyone who disagrees with them.” She’s now voting for Mr. Trump.

I get why hospitals require pre-payment for services, but their estimating ability is terrible.

The mistake is always in their favor and they are notoriously slow in refunding overpayments.

Four-ship for Mass.

The big day is here.

Added Security: You Now Need To Ring A Bell To Get A Target Employee To Unlock The Cabinet Containing The Employee You Need To Unlock The Cabinet Containing The Deodorant - Clickhole

In order to unlock the cabinet containing the second Target worker, the first Target worker opens a suitcase handcuffed to their wrist, which contains a 30-digit code that they verify with the second employee inside the cabinet. Once verified, the employees enter the code into dual keypad locks installed on both sides of the door and hit enter simultaneously, thereby unlocking the cabinet. The customer and the second Target employee then head to the deodorant aisle and retrieve the deodorant. 

Is Your Company’s 401(k) Match Unfair? - WSJ

Nearly half of the $200 billion companies contribute to workers’ 401(k)s goes to the top 20% of earners, research by Vanguard Group found. The lowest-earning workers get 6% of the money.

Interesting concept of fairness. A group of adults are given an opportunity, a subset take it and others, for their own reasons, choose not to. And somehow that’s unfair?

Philosopher 2, attorney 0.

FDIC Chairman Martin Gruenberg to Resign Following Report Detailing Sexual Harassment at Agency - WSJ

Gruenberg plans to stay until successor is confirmed, avoiding scenario that would leave a Republican as acting chairman

Accountability* (but only when politically convenient)

Monday morning, when I eat breakfast: ☀️

Monday morning, when I open my email: 🌪️

Suddenly There Aren’t Enough Babies. The Whole World Is Alarmed. - WSJ

Erica Pittman, a 45-year-old business banker in Raleigh, N.C., said she and her husband opted to have only one child because of demands on their time, including caring for her mother, who died last year after a long battle with multiple sclerosis. Their 8-year-old son is able to participate in theater workshops, soccer and summer camps because the couple, with a combined income of about $225,000 a year, has more time and money.

“I feel like a better mom,” Pittman said. “I feel like I can go to work—because I have a fairly demanding job—but I can also make time to volunteer at his school, be the chaperone for the field trip and do those kinds of things, because I only have one to coordinate with my schedule.”

What’s a word stronger than “pathetic?”

Clean house, still raining outside, and curled up on the couch in my office with a book. Good Sunday. 📖

Lofi beats for a rainy Sunday morning. ☔️

At a barbershop for the first time in more than 4 years.

💈

A Tale of Three Universities - WSJ Opinion

The University of Florida took a different approach. In a statement Monday evening, the school said protesters who engaged in prohibited activities would face a trespassing order and an “interim” suspension from the university. “This is not complicated,” a spokesman said. “The University of Florida is not a daycare, and we do not treat protesters like children—they knew the rules, they broke the rules, and they’ll face the consequences.”

Trump’s Finger Hovers Over ‘Send’ Button As He Ponders Whether Sick Burn Worth Another $10,000 - Babylon Bee

At publishing time, Trump had reportedly asked if he could go ahead and pre-pay for all the sick burns he planned to unleash next week.

CEO Tim Cook Straps On Apple Vision Pro To Enjoy Alternate Reality In Which People Buy Apple Vision Pro - Babylon Bee

The global tech giant’s venture into virtual reality was met with lukewarm public interest, leaving Cook to escape this world and use the company’s invention to enter an alternate universe in which the goggles had set sales records and altered the course of human beings’ day-to-day lives.

America Honors Earth Day By Recycling Used Presidential Candidates - Babylon Bee

“Most old presidential candidates get tossed in the trash can to be sent to a landfill to slowly decompose until they’re forgotten and irrelevant. It’s time for a new way,” said environmental scientist Dr. Wayne Flerd. “We couldn’t be happier to see not one, but two former candidates being given new life despite being way past their expiration dates.”

The IRS Is Here to Help With Direct File. Oh No - WSJ Opinion

Sen. Warren is selling Direct File as an alternative to “greedy, reckless” tax preparation firms. It’s a scandal the tax code is so complicated it requires such help, but that’s the fault of Congress.

Op-Ed: If Jesus Supports Forgiveness, How Can Christians Not Support Robbing Poor People To Pay For My Journalism Degree? - Babylon Bee

If you really believe Jesus paid the debt for your sins, you must also believe in paying the tuition for my “cultural experience” semester in Jamaica. It’s as simple as that.

NASA Sends Rover To Search For Intelligent Life On ‘The View’ - Babylon Bee

“So far, our sensors have detected nothing.”

Democrats Play Into Hamas’s Hands - WSJ Opinion

You’d think the U.S. never made a mistake that killed civilians in wartime. They ignore the Hellfire missile attack that killed seven children as the U.S. sought to avenge the deaths of 13 Americans in Kabul as Mr. Biden pulled U.S. forces from Afghanistan in 2021.

Israel has a history of accountability for such mistakes, and officers in charge have already been cashiered. That’s more than can be said for the U.S. failure in Afghanistan.

Biden’s Latest Lawless Student Loan Forgiveness - WSJ Opinion

Mr. Biden’s new loan forgiveness is still illegal. The High Court stressed that student loan forgiveness is a major question that requires clear authorization from Congress. But Mr. Biden seems to believe he can jam the courts by automatically forgiving debt before a judge has time to stop him.

The White House says most borrowers won’t even have to apply for loan relief. Sometime before the November election, Mr. Biden will simply declare their debt forgiven. That means a future Congress and a President Trump might be unable to undo the lawless act. Where are the press scolds who warn about a President who threatens democracy?

I’m now 100% obsessed with garlic & herb butter.

🧈

Doesn’t do it justice.

The eclipse has begun. Good visibility, pretty cool to see.

🌑

Biden Exploits a Tragic Israeli Mistake - WSJ Opinion

Mr. Biden also seems to have forgotten his own mistaken missile strike. When the President’s Irish goodbye from Afghanistan was spoiled by a suicide bombing that killed 13 U.S. troops, he ordered retaliation against ISIS-K. On Aug. 29, 2021, a U.S. Hellfire missile struck a car at a family home in Kabul in what Gen. Mark Milley called a “righteous strike.”

It turned out the strike killed 10 civilians, including seven children. But the Biden Administration wasn’t quick to apologize. “Almost everything senior defense officials asserted in the hours, days and weeks after it turned out to be false,” the New York Times reported.

The explosives supposedly in the targeted car’s trunk were probably water bottles. The driver, an aid worker, had no ISIS ties. It took weeks for the Pentagon to own up to what it called a “tragic mistake.”

The fog of war is real, and for Mr. Biden this and other U.S. strikes were mistakes. But he now holds Israel to a different standard.

The President’s statements on the Israeli strike have moved from “outrage” to recrimination: “This is a major reason why distributing humanitarian aid in Gaza has been so difficult—because Israel has not done enough to protect aid workers.” Left out is a critical word about Hamas, which started this war, steals aid, and murders Palestinians who facilitate aid.

9 Other Groups That Desperately Need Their Own Day Of Visibility - Babylon Bee

Meghan Markle: Living in relative obscurity as a television actress and member of the British royal family is lonely and heartbreaking and will soon be documented in a heavily promoted Netflix series.

How is it that no one has solved Parental Controls on computers/devices by now?

The Triduum begins.

Over the years, I’ve read many articles and books that discussed strategies for minimizing phone use. Really, to even call them phones today is a disservice. Our cell phones are now computers that also happen to be able to make calls.

Cal Newport, in his book Digital Minimalism discusses a sensible strategy of giving each type of device a particular job. Web surfing goes to the desktop, reading goes to the iPad, mobile needs goes to the iPhone, etc. In this type of system, with each device having a discreet role, the theory is that if keep each device in its lane, you can maintain your technology goals. For instance, you’d stop scrolling on your phone in bed because scrolling is to be done on your desktop.

Any plan to reduce your dependance on your devices will require at least a small degree of buy-in. Most manufacturers are heavily incentivized to keep you plugged in as much as possible, so the tools to create a “healthy relationship,” even the parental controls, are difficult to navigate by design but easy to break.

The device job idea was interesting to me, but the idea that’s stuck even longer is a video that I watched in 2018 from The Wall Street Journal. Personal Technology columnist Joanna Stern did a deep dive on the colors on our phones, and how they use our psychology against us to keep us staring at our screens all day.

After six years of bouncing around in my head, I finally did it. I combined Cal and Joanna’s strategies into one comprehensive iPhone redesign. I deleted most of my apps, only keeping the ones that I need close at hand for short duration use. Gone are the games, news, and reading apps. I then set up a simple Home Screen with nine apps, the remaining accessible from a Spotlight search or the App Library. Finally, I turned on color filters and set the whole operating system to greyscale.

I then took things one step further. I finally sat down to understand the Focus modes, and set up several to match the phases of my day.

The collective impact of these changes is noticeable. I don’t reach for my phone in the idle moments of the day, and when it’s on, the grey is unbelievably uninteresting. There are times, if I am doing some quick online shopping, where I turn back on the color because color is context. When done, the gray is back on and my phone is back to its designated lane.

Technology is a wonderful thing that brings so much convenience to our lives. Regardless of its importance, at the end of the day, it’s just a tool. And it works much better in grayscale.

Robot of the day.

Trump-Friendly Truth Social Board to Decide When He Can Cash In - WSJ

Shannon Devine, a spokeswoman for Truth Social’s parent, said in a statement that this article is “clearly the latest in a long line of sloppy, poorly researched hit pieces on Truth Social by The Wall Street Journal.” She didn’t say what was misleading or inaccurate in the current or previous articles.

This made me laugh.

I set up a business phone line on my cell phone today.

I bought my number from one company, ported it to a service, and activated in less than 15 minutes, from my desk, without talking to a single person.

Incredible!

📱

Happy 11th birthday to my blog, Catholic Husband!

🎂

For the first time in my life, my drivers license expired.

Sunday night sunset.

Rainy Saturday. ⛈️

JetBlue, Spirit Airlines Call Off $3.8 Billion Merger Deal - WSJ

Attorney General Merrick Garland said Monday that the companies’ decision to abandon the deal, instead of trying to appeal their trial loss, further showed the government was right to challenge the transaction.

We’ll see what the AG says when Spirit collapses into bankruptcy and the big 4 pick up all of their planes and slots on the cheap.

Saturday at the Symphony. 🎼

President Biden’s State of the Union Address 2024 – Analysis and Updates - WSJ

Taxpayers at all income levels received tax cuts, on average, with the biggest benefits as a share of income going to people in the 95th to 99th percentiles, according to the Tax Policy Center.

More benefits would’ve gone to the 50% of Americans who pay $0.00 a year in Federal income tax, but math.

Mainstream Media Warn If Trump Is Elected He Might Indict His Political Enemies, Imprison Detractors, And Rig Elections In His Favor - Babylon Bee

“We have to bend or break every moral and ethical rule in existence to keep Trump from breaking the rules.”

John Kerry Is Stepping Down as Climate Envoy at Age 80. He Isn’t Going Quietly. - WSJ

Then Kerry plans to hit the road as a private citizen, dropping in on a major oil-industry conference in Houston to press energy executives to join the ranks of other business leaders throwing their weight behind the transition.

He’ll continue to travel by private jet, one assumes.

Supreme Court Rules Donald Trump Can Stay on Colorado Primary Ballot - WSJ

The court unanimously agreed that Trump should appear on the ballot

Illegitimate court.

The group behind the challenge, Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington, said that Trump won on technical grounds. “It will be up to the American people to ensure accountability,” said CREW’s president Noah Bookbinder.

As it always was, until CREW attempted to use the courts to substitute their viewpoint for the American people’s.

IRS puts 125,000 high-income individuals not filing tax returns on notice, to recoup millions owed - WTOP

IRS Commissioner Danny Werfel told reporters on Thursday that notices are going out to 25,000 individuals with more than $1 million in income, and 100,000 notices to people with incomes between $400,000 and $1 million between tax years 2017 and 2021.

WOW! Big, bold action by the IRS after up to 6 years of not so much as sending these people a letter?

Werfel said the IRS non-filer program has only run “sporadically” since 2016, because of “severe budget cuts and staff limitations.”

The high cost of postage is a burden on us all.

Prediction: FDIC seizes New York Community Bank at market close, reopens Monday under new ownership.

A bit of an odd day.

I will occasionally get behind on posts for Catholic Husband, but I always catch back up.

Unfortunately, that means some posts don’t get the attention they deserve. Here are two recents that I enjoy that were published slightly behind schedule:

⍟ 6,570 (February 19, 2024)

⍟ Contend (February 12, 2024)

Pentagon Finds It Properly Handled Austin’s Hospitalization - WSJ

The Pentagon found it did nothing wrong in deciding to not immediately inform President Biden or legislators of Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin’s whereabouts when he was hospitalized earlier this year, finding in an internal review that staff followed existing guidelines and sought to protect the defense chief’s privacy.

Job well done, then.

AT&T to Reimburse Customers Struck by Outage - WSJ

A $5 credit to eligible accounts will appear within two billing cycles, the company said.

Mindblowing generosity…talk about paying it forward!!

The cost of reimbursement is “fully manageable while achieving the 2024 business objectives we have set for ourselves and our stated financial guidance,” Stankey wrote.

90 million subscribers x $5 = $450M. AT&T won’t even feel this…and maybe that’s the problem.

Americans have racked up a trillion dollars in credit card debt. That’s actually OK - WTOP News

The issue with those figures is that they don’t factor in that about 55% of borrowers repay their balances in full each month

What’s 30% of $500B?

Made my first PlaneDocs delivery today!

Hunter Biden Shows Joe Is No Longer in Control of the Plot - WSJ Opinion

With Jenga pieces flying all about, with further upsets yet to be named, an election of Nikki Haley vs. Ms. Harris isn’t out of the question—or the GOP’s Ms. Haley vs. any of the hale-and-heartier Democrats who might elbow their way to the fore in Mr. Biden’s absence.

Holman’s column is always a must read for me. He always has interesting takes on the stories of the day.

Elon Musk and Donald Trump Cases Imperil the Rule of Law - WSJ Opinion

In Delaware, Chancellor Kathaleen McCormick of the Court of Chancery ordered the unwinding of five years of Mr. Musk’s incentive-based compensation at Tesla, which had been approved by 80% of the company’s shareholders. The plaintiff, Richard Tornetta, held nine shares in 2018—worth about $200 then and $2,000 today, after the execution of the compensation plan that supposedly injured him.

That’s pretty stunning.

Biden’s Student Loan Boast: The Supreme Court ‘Didn’t Stop Me’ - WSJ Opinion

But worst of all is Mr. Biden’s blatant rejection of the law, even after the Supreme Court called him out. Is it any wonder that GOP voters don’t take Democratic alarms about losing democracy seriously? Mr. Biden doesn’t take his own warnings seriously.

Stay-At-Home Mom Lets Loose, Mixes Lights And Darks On Cold Wash Cycle - Babylon Bee

As of publishing time, Becky reportedly was heard singing sassy jazz songs from the laundry room while she brazenly threw unmatched socks into her kids’ laundry bins while cackling like a hyena. Joe had decided it might be a good night to order pizza.

I’ve done laundry on 5 of the last 9 days. I relate to this.

70° and sunny.

All of my appliances sing a slightly different song when they complete their cycles. Laundry day is both melodic and confusing. 🧺

Early voting is a wonderful thing for parents!

🇺🇸

Alison and I think of vacation in the same way. While some people prefer new adventures and exploring new cities, we like to go to the same places to do the same things. We’ve just returned from our third annual trip to Crystal Mountain ski resort in northern Michigan, and this year brought us plenty of new adventure.

Road trips with four small children always take longer, with the little ones needing more breaks along the way. Like all things with children, they reach new milestones without mentioning them, and this trip was no different. This was the first time we made our two-day drive in a single day. It was a long day, and we took four breaks for food/fuel/bathrooms, but we made it. I don’t know if we’ll attempt it again, but at least we now know that road trips in the future will be much less chaotic.

Although the La Niña weather pattern this winter has left Michigan with below-average snow, the temperatures were good for artificial snow making. Most of the trails at Crystal Mountain were open when we arrived, much to our delight.

Cottage at Crystal Mountain upon our arrival. Note the total lack of snowpack

In previous years, we’d spend at least all of Monday in the Mountain Adventure Zone (Crystal’s bunny hill) getting familiar with our skis again before heading up the mountain. Each year, though, our time in the Adventure Zone gets shorter and shorter. This year, Benedict and Felicity needed three runs before they were ready. In less than an hour, we were up on the mountain enjoying skiing.

The children and I took lessons throughout the week, looking to build our skills. My two-hour lesson was great, and I had the confidence to start doing Blue (moderate) runs. Benedict and Felicity also took lessons. Felicity grew from a solid solo skier to an adventure skier! After her lesson, on every run we took, she’d always try to find some terrain on the edges of the trail to ski over. Benedict did a Blue run last year at the end of vacation and he remained very confident in himself (and addicted to ski speed). He insisted on doing all Blue runs the entire week. He took two lessons and even did his first Black Diamond. Whew.

Lucy on her way to the Adventure Zone with her instructor

Lucy was very reluctant to take her lesson… until I snapped her into her skis. As with all things Lucy, she was very coy about her abilities around her family, and a stand-out in front of strangers. She got very high marks from her instructor and, after the lesson, confidently went down runs on her own without the backpack/leash! There was a minor incursion with a log that temporarily set her back. But after a few more runs with supervision, she was willing to go solo again.

Veronica dreaming of future rides on the ski lift

Last year, Veronica didn’t even want to stand in her skis. This week, she had them for the whole week. She took a group lesson and, despite her early protests, I saw her from afar going down the Adventure Zone with her hands on her knees.

Benedict looks out the window at the fresh snow fall

Snow was only forecast for one day during the week, but lake effect snow showers passed through regularly. Alison and I got to ski as one of those bands passed through the area, dropping frozen, thick, perfectly formed snowflakes. I think that was the first time I’d seen a natural snowflake look exactly like the pictures.

Fresh snowfall on a cottage at Crystal Mountain

Early Thursday morning, a true snowstorm rolled through the area, finally blanketing the entire resort. Instead of skiing first thing, we got on our snow gear and walked around. The kids threw endless snowballs at each other, built a snowman, and stood under trees, shaking them until the branches gave up their snow. Our trip was about more than skiing, it was about winter fun. They experienced the wonderment of snow.

Kids playing on a snow covered bridge. The bridge’s top was relieved of its snow for the making of snowballs

No one was injured during the week, there was a good mix of solo and group skiing, and we all got to go down our favorite trails several times. There was even a long session of night skiing! Throughout the week, we were challenged as we played on the mountain, and we never got bored.

Loki Quad ski lift at the bottom of Crystal Mountain

Driving home, we had to take a detour through suburban roads that cut through hill country. There was snow on the ground, and when the children looked out the window, they asked with delight, “Are we back at Crystal!?” No, we’re not today, but we will be next year!

Can Loose Lips Sink an Alliance? - WSJ

NATO calls itself the most successful military alliance in human history, and that isn’t hollow bragging or crass marketing. Never before have so many countries, representing almost one-eighth of the world’s population, pledged to protect each other so consistently, for so long.

…

NATO has also kept peace among centuries-old enemies. United under NATO’s security umbrella, long-feuding neighbors including France and Germany have become close allies. Others, including Greece and Turkey, have kept animosities from turning to war. Were NATO to atrophy or disappear, it isn’t inconceivable European leaders would once again fear and rearm against each other.

Oh the hours of entertainment that children can get from a single big box.

📦

I hate that Apple is automatically using AI to generate transcripts for all podcasts on Apple Podcasts.

We’re in the very early innings of AI, and the idea that I can’t opt-out from its use on my intellectual property is wrong.

I’ve been trying to use Brick when I’m downstairs and away from my computer. More refinements to be done to my blocked apps, but I like the workflow. Much better than messing around with ScreenTime settings.

Refrigerator robots.

Dave Ramsey Advises Trump To Use Snowball Method, Pay Off Smallest Legal Judgment First - Babylon Bee

At publishing time, Trump had reportedly hung up on Ramsey after Ramsey yelled, “SELL THE STUPID PLANE!”

Nothing beats your own bed.

🛌

Snowy day ⛷️

Snowfall. ❄️

Tucker Carlson Says He Is Interviewing Russian President Vladimir Putin - WSJ

“Most Americans have no idea why Putin invaded Ukraine, or what his goals are now,” Carlson said in the video. “They’ve never heard his voice. That’s wrong. Americans have a right to know all they can about a war they’re implicated in

Let’s see, Russia invaded a sovereign nation, while promising that his massing forces were just on exercises, his forces massacred civilian populations, his military targeted civilian hospitals and infrastructure with missile and drone strikes, he’s buying equipment and material from Iran and North Korea, and mercenaries, acting at his direction, recruited from prison colonies to participate in the invasion.

Am I missing something?

Carlson’s evolution from a traditional, interventionist Republican who supported the Iraq war to an arch-isolationist, populist firebrand has in many ways mirrored the broader conservative movement that came to form the core of Trump’s base.

Here’s the truth. Carlson will do or say anything as long as it means that he gets more attention and more money. He’s encouraging division and outrage in our country because it’s the rage that’s monetizing him.

Fifth Sunday in Ordinary Time - USCCB Daily Readings

Rising very early before dawn, he left and went off to a deserted place, where he prayed.

Mark 1:35

Slowly, but surely, we’re pushing the boundaries of trying to escape reality. Humans have always sought these escape, but we’re taking it way further than any previous generation has ever attempted. This isn’t just seeking blissful escape, this is a rejection of the very notion of truth and beauty.

There’s no substitute for the authentic, real human experience.

Biden Names Elmo New Press Secretary - Babylon Bee

“Elmo is so happy to be here! Elmo loves talking about Iran! Hahaha!” said Elmo as he hosted his first press conference. “Elmo loves new friends! Peter, do you want to be Elmo’s friend??”

Biden to Visit East Palestine, Ohio, One Year After Train Derailment - WSJ

The trip would mark the first time Biden has visited the site since the accident devastated the small Ohio town

Consoler-in-Chief

Intelligence Reveals Details of U.N. Agency Staff’s Links to Oct. 7 Attack - WSJ

Six United Nations Relief and Works Agency workers were part of the wave of Palestinian militants who killed 1,200 people in the deadliest assault on Jews since the Holocaust, according to the intelligence dossier. Two helped kidnap Israelis. Two others were tracked to sites where scores of Israeli civilians were shot and killed. Others coordinated logistics for the assault, including procuring weapons.

Of the 12 Unrwa employees with links to the attacks, seven were primary or secondary school teachers, including two math teachers, two Arabic language teachers and one primary school teacher.

The Trump-MAGA Purge - WSJ Opinion

“Nikki ‘Birdbrain’ Haley is very bad for the Republican Party and, indeed, our Country,” Mr. Trump said Wednesday on his social-media site. “Anybody that makes a ‘Contribution’ to Birdbrain, from this moment forth, will be permanently barred from the MAGA camp. We don’t want them, and will not accept them.”

The art of persuasion.

He may find people react to his threats by voting for another candidate, or not at all.

Trump Adviser Peter Navarro Gets Four-Month Sentence for Defying Jan. 6 Committee - WSJ

“You were more than happy to talk to the press about what you did… but not go up to the Hill to talk to Congress,” the judge said.

Hunter?

The Justice Department had suggested a six-month sentence for Navarro, saying he had thumbed his nose at congressional authority as if he were above the law.

Hunter.

The Money-Market Bonanza Is Over. So Is Now the Time for Stocks? - WSJ

The S&P and Dow both hit records Tuesday, making further gains from here difficult.

Why did the editor allow this line to be published?

The S&P 500 set more than 1,000 record highs between 1950 and 2021, according to an analysis by Royal Bank of Canada. One year later, those highs were followed by a correction—a decline of more than 20%—less than 7% of the time. When the time horizon was extended to 10 years, that number dropped to 0.

This was seven paragraphs later, and exactly my point.

The Labor Union That Defeated Amazon Is Fighting for Survival - WSJ

The union is “dealing with a lot of institutional failure—failure of the labor law and failure of American businesses to really accept unionizing without putting up a battle,” said Wilma Liebman, formerly chair of the National Labor Relations Board under President Barack Obama.

Sometimes, when you’re asked to give a quote, a simple “no” is best.

The GOP Wants Pure, Uncut Trumpism as Haley’s Path Forward Narrows - WSJ

What the GOP’s most loyal voters want, it seems, is pure, uncut Trumpism—with all the baggage and ideological divergence from traditional conservatism that entails.

I’m old enough to remember when Trump wasted two months after his election on his loss instead of on winning the Georgia Senate runoffs.

The GOP lost the Senate, and we got the radical appointees, endless mandates, administrative state fiat galore, economic misery, and rancor of the last four years.

Gracious Trump Runs Out To Welcome Prodigal DeSantis Back Home - Babylon Bee

“This son of mine was dead, and boy, was he so dead, I mean really, really dead, believe me. But now, he is alive again; he was lost and is found. He was Meatball, but now he is Ron. He was DeSanctimonious, but now he is DeSantis once again. So fantastic, really.”

The 2024 Republican Choice - WSJ

It also isn’t clear Mr. Trump could attract first-rate advisers. The lure of power is strong, but anyone who takes a job had better have a lawyer on retainer. No conservative who wants a career in the law is likely to accept a job in the White House or Justice—not after what Mr. Trump asked his lawyers to do after the 2020 election.

Tim Scott to Endorse Trump for GOP Nomination, in Blow to Haley - WSJ

The endorsement is another sign of the difficulty Haley faces in a party that appears to be coalescing behind the former president.

Mistake.

Apple Changes Its App Store Policy. Critics Call the Moves ‘Outrageous.’  - WSJ

Apple’s new fees have drawn sharp criticism from the app-developer community, with opponents arguing the 27% commission the company will now impose on in-app purchases made through alternative payment methods will cost developers and, ultimately consumers, more money.

I’m moving as many of my subscriptions out of the IAP system as possible. A 27% referral fee!?

Aide to Lloyd Austin asked ambulance to arrive quietly to defense secretary’s home, 911 call shows - WTOP News

“Can I ask, like, can the ambulance not show up with lights and sirens? Um, we’re trying to remain a little subtle,” the aide said, according to the recording.

Is it an emergency or is it not?

Glaring Questions Remain Over Defense Secretary Austin’s Transfer Of Authority - The War Zone

“We’re not going to track the GPS coordinates on somebody’s mobile phone in the administration and we’re not going to plant a microchip in their neck like they’re a poodle,” he said in the exchange below, when asked why cabinet members are not tracked more closely than the city they are in. This is a somewhat fascinating detail because these officials, especially the Defense Secretary have critical roles to play in so-called continuity of government operations. The idea that their exact whereabouts is known about at all times is a unique admission.

We’re entering the second week of this story and they’re still giving these stupid quotes. We’re not talking about the Secretary of Agriculture. If there had been an attack, no one would’ve known where SecDef and his deputy was clueless on a beach somewhere.

Hertz Selling 20,000 EVs in the U.S., to Reinvest in Gas-Powered Vehicles - WSJ

Hertz said Thursday that it would sell about 20,000 EVs in the U.S., and use some of the proceeds to purchase internal-combustion-engine vehicles. The company in a regulatory filing cited weaker demand for electrics, and their higher operating costs. 

Emphasis added.

Hertz previously set a goal to electrify a quarter of its fleet by the end of 2024. On Thursday, the company said it would focus on matching supply with demand and focus on margins.

Bold, outside-the-box strategy.

Biden Backs Defense Chief Austin, Won’t Take Resignation if Offered - WSJ

“There [are] no plans, or anything other than for Secretary Austin to stay in the job and continuing the leadership that he’s been demonstrating,” National Security Council spokesman John Kirby told reporters Monday. 

From Afghanistan to Walter Reed, the Secretary’s performance is 100% on brand for this Administration and we are just hoping against hope that he stays!

It’s the policy of this Administration that no failure go punished, and we’re 100% focused on the consistent application of this policy.

Good thing we didn’t go to war while we thought the SecDef was working from home, like he said he was, but was really in intensive care, eh?

A little fun at tea time. 🦩

Biden Has a Second-Term Wish List. Congress Could Spoil His Plans. - WSJ

“Donald Trump’s campaign,” Biden said on Friday, “is about him, not you.”

Completely true.

It’s a campaign solely built on hubris and rehashing the 2020 election by a confused old man who refuses to step aside and champion a new generation of leadership for America.

Then again, so is the Biden 2024 campaign.

Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin’s Hospitalization Deepens Mystery of His Absence - WSJ

He has by design kept a low profile in the Biden administration.

He certainly has kept a low profile since the strategically brilliant and historical airlift that was the Afghanistan withdrawal. Almost as if he didn’t want people to get the idea that he’s completely incompetent.

Daddy’s Home 2

🍿

Late Sunday snack.

‘You Know, These Fine Citizens May Really Have A Point And I’d Like To Learn More About Their Cause,’ Thinks Driver Blocked By Protesters For 3 Hours - Babylon Bee

“This is truly a brilliant tactic,” he said. “I never would have considered their viewpoint before, but now that they have completely ruined my plans and made my life more difficult, I’m far more inclined to agree with them.”

Claudine Gay Gives Tearful Resignation Speech Entitled ‘Gettysburg Address’ - Babylon Bee

Sources say the crowd was moved to tears by the time the speech concluded. “I have concluded that because of the Watergate matter I might not have the support of the Congress that I would consider necessary to back the very difficult decisions and carry out the duties of this office in the way the interests of the nation would require,” she concluded. “Therefore, I shall resign from the presidency effective noon tomorrow.”

Harvard President Claudine Gay Resigns After Plagiarism Allegations, Campus Antisemitism Backlash - WSJ

Gay has requested four corrections on two academic papers and is updating her dissertation in three spots

I guess you can’t have a president who plagiarizes tell your enrolled students not to plagiarize?