A year of fits and starts, but I got it done.

Here are the books I finished reading in 2023.

Detroit Pistons Relegated To WNBA - Babylon Bee

WNBA Commissioner Cathy Engelbert welcomed the new addition to the league. “We’re thrilled to add such a storied basketball franchise,” she said. “Fostering disinterest in the fanbase and showcasing lackluster play in front of mostly empty arenas are hallmarks of our league, so we’re confident the Pistons will feel right at home here.”

Francis Collins Has Regrets, but Too Few - WSJ

Dr. Collins continued: “So you attach infinite value to stopping the disease and saving a life. You attach a zero value to whether this actually totally disrupts people’s lives, ruins the economy, and has many kids kept out of school in a way that they never quite recovered.” This, he explained, “is a public-health mindset,” which was “another mistake we made.”

A helpful insight into what students learn in their MPH coursework.

I love the way the tops of the trees are stretching to grab the last few rays of sunlight.

Apple Wins Temporary Reprieve as U.S. Court Pauses Watch Ban - WSJ

Apple won a temporary reprieve for its $18 billion smartwatch business after a U.S. appeals court on Wednesday paused a federal agency’s import ban on most of its watch models.

We must protect the world’s most valuable company from the consequences of pretending like they’re going to buy a company, stealing their ideas and monetizing the stolen IP for their sole benefit! It’s not like Apple can pay license fees or royalities to their victim for the IP that they stole.

It looks like my end of year web design project for 2023 is adding a color nav bar to my website!

Where Americans Invested Their Money in 2023, in Six Charts - WSJ

Investors have piled into far-reaching corners of global markets, driving a rally spanning stocks, bonds, gold and even cryptocurrencies. Yields on risky corporate bonds have fallen to some of the lowest levels of the past year, while bond prices have rallied.

It’s incredible to me how many articles WSJ puts out on investment trends. I guess it fills pages and sells papers, but the trends are almost always short-lived.

All is calm, all is bright. Merry Christmas!

What my daughter does when I tell her to put away her shoes. 🥿

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care 🎅🏻

We Aren’t Posting on Social Media as Much Anymore. Will We Ever? - WSJ

The reasons are varied: People say they feel they can’t control the content they see. They have become more protective about sharing their lives online. They also say the fun of social media has fizzled.

Thanks, ads.

First day of winter. ❄️

Conservative Bishops Push Back Against Pope Francis on Same-Sex Blessings - WSJ

Francis didn’t mention the policy on blessings, but called for vigilance “against rigid ideological positions that often, under the guise of good intentions, separate us from reality and prevent us from moving forward.”

The smartest guy in the room. Smarter than Aquinas, Ambrose, and Gregory… combined!

“Here in the Archdiocese of Chicago, we welcome this declaration, which will help many more in our community feel the closeness and compassion of God.”

The Archdiocese will also offer pastoral blessings for street gangs that they may be protected by God’s hand from a hail of bullets as they gun down their rivals on the streets of Chicago.

Statement of USCCB on Vatican’s Document Addressing Pastoral Blessings - USCCB

“The Declaration issued today by the Vatican’s Dicastery for the Doctrine of the Faith (DDF) articulated a distinction between liturgical (sacramental) blessings, and pastoral blessings, which may be given to persons who desire God’s loving grace in their lives. The Church’s teaching on marriage has not changed, and this declaration affirms that, while also making an effort to accompany people through the imparting of pastoral blessings because each of us needs God’s healing love and mercy in our lives.”

Inane.

I love the look of contrails at sunrise.

Vatican Issues Guidelines for Same-Sex Blessings - WSJ

The pope’s letter and Monday’s guidelines supersede a 2021 Vatican statement that prohibited blessings for gay couples on the grounds that God “cannot bless sin.”

God is always changing His mind on what is sinful and what isn’t.

Catholic clergy may “join in the prayer of those persons who, although in a union that cannot be compared in any way to a marriage, desire to entrust themselves to the Lord and his mercy, to invoke his help, and to be guided to a greater understanding of his plan of love and of truth,” said the document, signed by Cardinal Victor Manuel Fernandez, head of the doctrinal office.

The big lie.

Decoration station. 🎄

There’s something magical about reading a contract in its entirety. Reading can save you a lot of money. 💵

Best Christmas Gifts For Christians Of Each Denomination - Babylon Bee

Catholics: A bumper sticker that says “Miss me yet?” with a picture of Pope Benedict.

‘It’s A Great Time To Buy A House,’ Says Realtor Who Gets Paid If You Buy A House - Babylon Bee

“Not only is it a perfect starter home, it just suits you and your family’s needs perfectly! There’s great schools nearby and no crime. Also, this could easily be turned into your dream home with a little TLC. Did I mention that it’s a great time to buy a house right now?”

Also a quote by me, selling my house.

A photo has been removed — can I still use it? - Unsplash

Please keep in mind our photos are provided on an “as is” basis, so any liability for continued use of a removed photo remains with you.

And that’s why you can’t trust Unsplash.

Markets are Rallying. How to Make the Most of Them. - WSJ

Stocks have erased almost all their losses since the beginning of 2022, when the Federal Reserve began its campaign of interest-rate increases.

PSA

He’s Wanted for Wirecard’s Missing $2 Billion. He’s Now Suspected of Being a Russian Spy. - WSJ

While running Wirecard, Marsalek helped the GRU, Russia’s military intelligence agency, and the SVR, its main overseas spying organization, pay intelligence officers and informants and funnel money into conflict zones in the Middle East and Africa, according to the officials. At the same time, these Western officials suspect Marsalek was gathering information on other customers of Munich-based Wirecard, most notably Germany’s main BND intelligence agency and the Federal Criminal Office, the country’s equivalent of the FBI, and handing it over to Moscow.

Better than fiction.

Soft morning light.

It must be the end of the year. I’m getting inspired to start big web projects and overhaul my file-based organization.

Penn President, Board Chair Resign After Furor Over Comments on Campus Antisemitism - WSJ

Private colleges generally aren’t bound by First Amendment protections, but many have crafted codes of conduct that track constitutional guarantees for free speech—including the expression of views on campus that might be considered racist, antigay or sexist. 

Regardless, advocating for the elimination of an entire religious or ethnic group—men,women, and children, solely for existing, can never be tolerated.

Alaska Airlines Pilot Accused of Trying to Cut Engines Midflight Avoids Attempted Murder Charges - WSJ

one count of endangering an aircraft in the first degree and 83 counts of recklessly endangering another person

The attempted murder theory never matched the facts. This is a much more relevant set of charges.

It’s email marketing list unsubscribing season. 🎄

Venezuela Ramps Up Threat to Annex Part of Guyana - WSJ

The U.S. in October eased economic sanctions in exchange for democratic reforms, which Caracas has yet to make.

And now, this.

Fraud has made major purchases a total pain.

Binance and the End of Crypto’s Dream to Escape From Government - WSJ

What does crypto have to offer—beyond clunky, wasteful and overly complicated technical systems—if it abandons its aspirations to operate independent of government oversight? The probable answer is: not much.

Swiss precision.

Squirrel Wearing MAGA Hat Seen Scampering Away From Falling National Christmas Tree - Babylon Bee

Former House Representatives Liz Cheney and Adam Kinzinger have traveled to D.C. to personally join in the hunt for the violent revolutionary

Pope Francis Punishes Conservative U.S. Cardinal Raymond Burke, One of His Most Vocal Critics - WSJ

Pope Francis is punishing one of his most vocal conservative critics in the Catholic hierarchy, U.S. Cardinal Raymond Burke, by taking away his stipend and rent-free apartment in Rome.

The Cardinal stands accused of gross mismanagement of the apartment.

Nikki Haley Backed by Koch Network in Bid to Block Trump From 2024 GOP Nomination - WSJ

the latest sign some big donors are moving her way in a long-shot bid to block former President Donald Trump from winning the GOP nomination

Long shot? Polls are one thing, pulling the lever is something totally different.

Buybuy Baby Is Back—and Opening Stores Again - WSJ

The new owners of Buybuy Baby recently reopened 11 stores, betting that many expectant parents still prefer to shop for strollers, cribs and car seats in person. 

I hate this branding, but physical stores are so critical for essentials.

Son is a pretty good packer.

Wouldn’t be a drive home from vacation without 90% of smooth travel and the last 10% absolutely grinding, dark, and raining.

New day dawning.

Call me Captain.

Washington Quietly Scrapped a Plan to Save Homeowners Thousands of Dollars - WSJ

Fannie and Freddie generally require it on the loans they purchase from lenders. The policy, known as “lenders’ title insurance,” typically costs the borrower around 0.5% of their loan amount, so it could cost about $1,500 for a $300,000 mortgage.  

I love buying insurance to protect my lender’s assets, which they only need so they can sell my mortgage to someone else. As if the fixed rate of return wasn’t enough…

Sunrise at the lake.

Binance CEO Changpeng Zhao Agrees to Step Down, Plead Guilty - WSJ

Changpeng Zhao is scheduled to appear in Seattle federal court Tuesday afternoon and enter his plea, according to court records unsealed Tuesday.

The two biggest names in “safe” crypto, convicted on federal charges just weeks apart.

Incredible. Stunning.

OpenAI Employees Threaten to Quit Unless Board Resigns After Sam Altman Was Fired as CEO - WSJ

The future of OpenAI was in jeopardy Monday, as the vast majority of employees threatened to quit if the board that fired the company’s CEO, Sam Altman, didn’t resign itself and restore him to power.

I join with millions of my fellow Americans to solmenly ask, what is OpenAI?

Cave exploring.

A man going on a journey called in his servants and entrusted his possessions to them.

Matthew 25:14

‘We Cannot Be Associated With Elon Musk,’ Says Tim Cook While Shaking Hands With Brutal Chinese Dictator - Babylon Bee

“I refuse to allow my morally pristine corporation to be associated with disreputable characters like Elon Musk,” said Cook while shaking the hand of murderous communist dictator Xi Jinping at this week’s APEC Dinner.

My favorite kind of driver is the one who goes 10-under in the left lane, and then in a construction zone goes 15-over.

Seen on the fence.

When children get hold of the newspaper, every picture gets a mustache.

45 Things Trump Is Promising For His Second Term - Babylon Bee

5. Make the southern border an epic American Ninja Warrior course so only the best ninja warriors get into the country

We need more ninja warriors in this country.

Post-Reconciliation views.

Man’s Day Sure Would Brighten Up If An A-10 Warthog Would Fly Overhead Right About Now - Babylon Bee

Participants in the study reported an average increase of 87% in happiness level whenever an A-10 made its presence known. One respondent commented, “I could be stuck in the worst traffic jam, but if an A-10 suddenly swooped down, I’d forget all my problems.

Misty morning.

South Carolina Sen. Tim Scott Suspends Republican Presidential Campaign - WSJ

Scott’s exit follows the departure of former Vice President Mike Pence who left the GOP field last month after also struggling to gain traction.

A positive sign that the mistakes of the 2016 primary won’t be repeated.

Pope Francis Fires Bishop For Being Too Catholic - Babylon Bee

“Bishop Strickland had the incredible audacity to actually teach the Catechism of the Catholic Church,” said Cardinal Robert McElroy. “Like, even the really unpopular parts about gender and marriage. That stuff is so - how did the Pope say it - ‘backwards and out-of-touch’!”

Cain Calls For Ceasefire After Killing Abel - Babylon Bee

“It’s time to put a stop to the senseless violence,” said Cain as he checked Abel’s pulse to make sure he was dead. “Everyone can lay down their weapons now!”

After nearly four years as a collector, I finally completed my first knife mod.

Benchmade Bugout with Fat Carbon Nebula scales

This Bugout was the first knife in my collection, bought two weeks before COVID hit. I hated the FRN scales and so I almost never carried it. Now it’s going in my display case with my other favorites.

I love this Nebula pattern, but it’s hard to find on US-made knifes. These scales were made in Wisconsin, so the Bugout remains a fully USA made knife. In addition to the scales, I swapped the screws for Flytanium titanium screws.

Pope Francis Fires Conservative U.S. Bishop - WSJ

The cardinal’s statement on Saturday said that the Vatican investigation had been “an exhaustive inquiry into all aspects of the governance and leadership”

Pope who lets Chinese Communist Party appoint its own bishops fires bishop for poor governance and leadership.

Fed to Propose Lowering Debit-Card Swipe Fees - WSJ

A section within the 2010 Dodd-Frank law called the Durbin amendment gave the Fed the power to set caps for banks and other financial institutions with $10 billion or more in assets.

This rule killed debit card rewards and pushed consumers into the more harmful credit card products. I wonder what this round of market distortion will yield.

Palestinian Lives Matter, Except to Hamas - WSJ Opinion

Blaming Israel for these civilian casualties amounts to denying the Jewish state its right to self-defense. It means that Hamas can launch attacks on Israel with the goal of slaughtering women and children, but Israel can’t attack Hamas in Gaza because civilians might be unintentional casualties.

Nobody for Speaker of the House - WSJ Opinion

What kind of an idiot mutineer takes over the man-of-war, tosses the captain overboard, and then spends two weeks pulling ropes at random, hoping like hell that the thing will somehow drift ashore before the supplies run out?

Automakers Have Big Hopes for EVs; Buyers Aren’t Cooperating - WSJ

Still, many consumers are reluctant to make the switch, deterred by high sticker prices and the inconvenience of driving a vehicle that has a limited range and needs regular recharging.

No one could’ve seen this coming.

Steve Scalise Quits House Speaker Race - WSJ

More than 150 lawmakers from both sides of the aisle managed to come together for a brief moment of unity in the evening at a vigil held on the Capitol steps for the victims of violence in the Middle East following the terrorist attacks in Israel.

Where were the other 385 clowns?

Beautiful ending.

Pope Francis Softens Vatican’s Ban on Blessing Gay Couples - WSJ

The pope suggested that such blessings should remain an unofficial practice, writing that such exercises of “pastoral prudence in certain circumstances need not be transformed into a norm.” 

Counterfeit sacraments.

We still haven’t solved extended power outages.

Walmart pickup order missing three items. Chatbot doesn’t give you the option to report an item missing from order, so you have to call in. 10 more minutes of my life wasted to fix their mistake.

Not great.

…put me to the test, says the Lord of hosts; see if I will not open the windows of heaven for you and pour down for you an overflowing blessing.

Malachi 3:8

At this point, the “Buy Apple or Die” marketing line is gauche.

House Speaker Kevin McCarthy Launches Formal Biden Impeachment Probe - WSJ

Democrats have painted the probe as unfounded and an effort to get political payback.

Huh.

Georgia Special Grand Jury Recommended Charges Against Lindsey Graham, Others in Election Probe - WSJ

recommended that South Carolina Sen. Lindsey Graham be indicted, as well as former Georgia Sens. David Perdue and Kelly Loeffler

Wreckless, unserious, dangerous stunt.

How is it that websites still struggle with Safari?

Late summer storms.

Bicyclist Wants To Be Treated Like A Car But Also Be Able To Just Kinda Break The Rules When He Wants To - Babylon Bee

The man then continued riding directly in the middle of the road at 15 miles per hour even though the speed limit was 65. Sources say Skuzz then ran three traffic lights and stopped once to adjust his GoPro

There’s nothing like the first breath of fall at the end of a hot summer.

🍁

Legal challenges to Biden’s student loan plans have borrowers anxious ahead of payment restart - The Hill

This lawsuit is nothing but a desperate attempt from right wing special interests to keep hundreds of thousands of borrowers in debt, even though these borrowers have earned the forgiveness that is promised through income-driven repayment plans,” an Education Department spokesperson said.

Except they haven’t earned it.

The “promise” says a certain number of payments, but DoE wants to count non-payments as payments.

If I don’t pay my mortgage, my mortgage company doesn’t pretend that I paid and lower my balance. Why are student loans so special?

Borrowers already saw relief snatched away from them in June when the Supreme Court ruled against Biden’s plan for all 45 million borrowers to receive up to $10,000 in loan forgiveness, and up to $20,000 for Pell Grant recipients.

Pathetic journalism. “Snatched away,” really? Maybe they should’ve written that the President lied when he told all 45 million borrowers that he was forgiving their loans.

“I’ve been working in this space for a long time, and I never really seen regulations be sued at this level,” Abrams said.

Abrams must’ve been asleep from January 2017 - January 2021.

Due to Biden’s “on-ramp” program, borrowers will be able to miss payments up until September 2024 without financial repercussions — besides the accruing interest on their loans. (Emphasis added)

Tiny detail.

“When it pertains to the confidence of the Biden-Harris administration, I think, truthfully, a lot of borrowers were hurt because they feel as though there was a lot of tokenized or false promises given kind of the landscape of the legislative but then also the executive and judicial actions of our institutions of government,” Rogers said.

Astute. Probably a more valuable lesson than these students ever learned in a lecture hall.

“But I believe also there’s still faith in the people seeking an education but are burdened with this debt, that whether it’s going to be the president, whether it’s going to be their congressional figures or their state legislatures that they’re going to do the right thing,” he added.

Oops, I spoke too soon.

Yesterday, I completed the 75 Hard challenge.

Since mid-winter, and through much of spring, I had a sense of being adrift. I was working a lot, walking infrequently, not praying much, and almost always 30–45 minutes late to bed. This unregulated, unmoored feeling was disquieting, and I knew I needed a reboot.

I had seen many online programs, but with the new cohort-model, none were ready when I was. They also had many aspects that I not only didn’t care about, but they actively turned me off.

I don’t remember where I first found 75 Hard, but when I found it, it clicked.

The premise is simple. To steal a phrase from Shia LeBouf, “Do it!”

The 75-day challenge has a daily task list:

• Two 45-minute workouts (one must be outside)
• Drink one gallon of water
• Read 10 pages of a book
• Stick to a diet
• No cheat days
• No alcohol
• Take a daily progress photo

When you do an item, you check it off. Miss an item? Start over at Day 1.

Looking at the list, it describes perfectly my ideal day. I want to work out, read, drink water, and stick to my diet. The only thing really missing is time for daily prayer.

The program is designed to be inconvenient. Two workouts a day was my biggest hurdle because it meant I had to give up 90 minutes each afternoon/evening to work out, cool down, and shower.

75 Hard is also meant to challenge you when life gets crazy. I did not control every aspect of my day for 75 days. There were two days that we drove across the country. We spent two weekends away from the house. There was all the daily busyness of raising four kids, homeschooling, running a business, and more. It took extra effort to make sure that I created the circumstances that I needed to accomplish my goal.

Yesterday, my last item of the challenge was my second workout of the day. As I walked around the neighborhood, essentially my victory lap, I felt a real sense of accomplishment and joy. Before the challenge I was out of control, now I was back where I wanted to be. These 75 days allowed me to build back the momentum and the habits that I know I need to practice every day to reach my personal and professional goals.

I will carry this accomplishment through my life. I will forever know that I have the capacity to commit to myself and execute on that commitment, no matter the circumstances of my life.

New coffee day

☕️

♠

I bought the Relient K album Forget and Not Slow Down the day it came out in 2009, my senior year of college.

Listening it today, I’m taken back to fall on campus in Ohio fourteen years ago. Incredible music.

Merrick Garland Names David Weiss as Special Counsel in Hunter Biden Investigation - WSJ

Garland said Weiss on Tuesday had told him that his investigation had “reached a stage at which he should continue his work as a special counsel, and he asked to be so appointed.”

At least now we know who’s been lying.

Joe Biden Officially Wishes Student Loans Away By Blowing On Dandelion - The Onion

I realize that student debt cancellation has failed in the past, but if need be, I will make this same wish when I blow out the candles on my birthday cake this year.

Letters

U.S. Warns of Trade Fight Over Canada’s Digital-Tax Plan - WSJ

Freeland said that Canadian officials remain in talks with their Group of Seven counterparts about a compromise whereby Canadian interests “can be protected and recognized.”

Which one is Canada, again?

These Financial Advisors Say ‘No Thanks’ to Helping Rich Clients Get Richer - WSJ

Advisers like Dole said making rich people richer as the sole goal of their work makes them uncomfortable.

Please signal the next time you’re about to get out of your lane.

Report: U.S. Will Now Need A Co-Signer To Purchase A Used Ford Taurus | Babylon Bee

“Wow. I had no idea that spending $15 trillion dollars that we didn’t have was an issue,” said Senator Chuck Schumer.

Done.

Aide Pushes Cart Through Halls Of Congress Yelling ‘Bring Out Your Dead!’ - Babylon Bee

“I’m getting better!” shouted Dianne Feinstein as her aides tossed her into the wheelbarrow. “I think I’ll go for a walk!”

Are You At A Nursing Home Or The U.S. Senate Chamber? 9 Clues To Look For - Babylon Bee

Nursing Home: Residents call out “Bingo!” to win money Senate: Residents call out “Aye!” to spend your money

MAGA Republicans Convene In Underground Lair To Turn Planet’s Heat Dial Up Three More Notches - Babylon Bee

The evil horde of MAGA supporters exploded into another round of malicious celebration as they all agreed to once again make the weather just slightly warmer than normal for this time of year.

What happens when children are left unattended with the dog.

Trump Indicted For Murder Of Tupac - Babylon Bee

Authorities now believe Trump fired a Glock .40-caliber pistol from the backseat of a white Cadillac while also somehow driving it.

Justice never rests.

Trump Campaign Hoping To Lock Up GOP Nomination With Third Indictment - Babylon Bee

“KEEP THESE FABRICATED INDICTMENTS COMING,” Trump said in a post to his Truth Social account. “THESE INDICTMENTS GIVE ME STRENGTH. I EAT THEM FOR BREAKFAST WITH MY EGG MCMUFFINS. THEY NOURISH ME. NOM NOM NOM! FEED ME MORE! MAGA!”

FDA Acknowledges Harm of Oral Contraceptives While Its Own Panel of Advisors Push to Make Drug Available Without Prescription - USCCB

Fertility is a gift, not a disease. Contraceptives exist to suppress the healthy functions of human reproduction. The mounting evidence of the many harmful side effects of hormonal contraceptives demonstrates that they are not good medicine.

Paying Student Loans Again Could Feel Like a 5% Pay Cut - WSJ

Yannelis and his co-authors found that from April 2020 to November 2022, borrowers whose payments were paused took on 3%, or $1,200, more in credit-card, mortgage and auto-loan debt than borrowers whose payments weren’t on hiatus.

The government is very good at helping people with its brilliant programs and plans.

EPA Launches Green Bank for Climate Funding in Low-Income Areas - WSJ

This cash is seen as critical for funding key areas such as battery storage, electric-car charging and building upgrades that often struggle to attract private-sector funding, particularly in low-income areas.

$27B to build EV chargers in poor neighborhoods?

Scholars Believe Explosive Growth Of The Early Church Was Due To Christians Being Allowed To Eat Bacon - Babylon Bee

“Save yourselves from this crooked generation! Believe in Jesus, the Messiah! And also, I had a dream last week and we can totally eat bacon now!” said Peter in one of his recently discovered early sermons given in a Jewish synagogue.

CPI Report Shows Inflation Eased to 3% in June - WSJ

So-called core consumer prices, which excludes volatile food and energy categories, rose 4.8%

I’ve loved this magic! Media and politicos each month review the difference between core and consumer price index inflation, then trumpet whichever value is lower.

How do we measure inflation? By whichever value makes us look the best!

They Had Great Credit Scores. Then They Retired - WSJ

living on a fixed income and paying off old loans can lower a score, said Ethan Dornhelm, vice president of scores and analytics at FICO.

Deleveraging is a significant credit risk in the funhouse mirror world of FICO logic.

Income and employment data aren’t included in the calculation, but credit scores do reward borrowers for having a mix of different kinds of loans, which can hurt those who have already paid off mortgages and auto loans.

They don’t care about your assets, liquidity, or employment status. It only matters that you have a nice, fat portfolio of debt and that you play by their rulebook which, by the way, you’re not allowed to read because it’s “proprietary.”

Embarrassing: Scientist Invents Lab-Grown Beef Only To Realize Cows Exist - Babylon Bee

“I’m all set to announce to the world that we invented beef, when all of a sudden, it dawns on me - cows are beef. There are literally huge slabs of beef walking all over the place. I’m such an idiot.”

Hottest Days Ever? Don’t Believe It - WSJ Opinion

It isn’t plausible to characterize Earth’s warming in a single average number, especially when we don’t really know what that number is today, much less from 125,000 years ago.

Millions of People Booted From Medicaid After Pandemic - WSJ

Enrollment in the health program for the low-income and disabled grew to 95 million during the pandemic, as states stopped checking to make sure people were eligible. Now states have started checking again, and more than 1.6 million people have been kicked off the program in the past three months

Um, they weren’t eligible, so why the outrage? They maintained benefits that they were not entitled to, and we’re supposed to feel bad for them now that they’ve been caught?

It’s a safety net, not a hammock.

Banks’ Newest Fed Headache: Nonstop Instant Payments - WSJ

Under an existing system called ACH (automated clearinghouse), transactions typically take several days to settle. That can be frustrating for those waiting to receive their funds but often benefits banks that use the money in the interim.

It’s long past time for instant payments. Rather gouche that we sit around waiting for our money, while the banks get to continue to play with something that isn’t theirs.

Consumers to Face New Limits on Private Short-Term Health Insurance - WSJ

Under a proposed rule, the administration aims to limit short-term health plans to three months, or four months if consumers opt to extend them

Isn’t it wonderful when government bureaucrats, who rail in court filings about big corporations limiting “consumer choice,” who never have to worry about facing a job loss, a gap between jobs, or the spiraling cost of healthcare on their mega Cadillac plans, decide that they know what’s best for your family’s healthcare coverage?

Some consumers seek out temporary plans because they are generally less expensive than ACA plans, offer flexible coverage periods such as 30 days or three years, and can be obtained any time of the year rather than just during the once-a-year ACA open-enrollment period.

Huh, that’s weird. These plans are offering options that consumers actually want, and are willing to pay for without making their neighbors subsidize them via tax credits.

Short-term plans could provide coverage with fewer benefits at premiums 54% lower than ACA-compliant plans

They found this one weird trick online to save you money: they don’t charge male subscribers for maternity care.

This younger, healthier demographic is considered important for restraining premiums that could rise if mostly older or sicker people enroll in coverage.

Social Security worked out so well that we decided to bring that successful business model to health insurance!

The Biden administration plans to limit short-term health policies that are typically less comprehensive than Affordable Care Act plans, in part because of concerns the products undercut the Obama-era health law.

This isn’t about you, your family, your economic freedom, or your budget. It’s about them protecting their vanity project.

Everyone Wants Interest on Their Deposits. That’s Bad for Main Street Banks. - WSJ

The Fed’s hikes and the failures of a trio of midsize banks are prompting once-loyal customers to pull their money out of checking accounts that pay no interest.

Low interest checking accounts are the credit card of deposit accounts. The bank will pay you 0.1% on your deposits, then turn around and loan you money for a car at 6%.

And customers don’t like that… go figure.

Sparklers 🇺🇸

What the Supreme Court’s Rejection of Student-Loan Forgiveness Means for You - WSJ

Millions of Americans will have to prepare to repay the entire balance of their student debt now that the Supreme Court has overturned President Biden’s loan-forgiveness plan.

Weird, that’s what it said on their Master Promissory Notes.

Report Blames Top Biden Officials for Failures During Afghanistan Exit - WSJ

U.S. Embassy staff in Kabul were so concerned in the months leading to the pullout that they sent a rare classified dissent cable warning that the Taliban’s advance was coming sooner than the administration had anticipated and correctly predicted that Afghanistan’s military would be unable to stop it, as first reported by The Wall Street Journal.

Supreme Court Strikes Down Biden’s Student-Loan Forgiveness Plan - WSJ

As a presidential candidate in 2020, Biden said he would pursue legislation to erase $10,000 in student debt per borrower. Once in office, however, he confronted a gridlocked Congress where neither Democratic efforts to cancel student debt nor Republican bills to prohibit loan forgiveness survived.

It’s been a three year con. He didn’t get it through Congress when they had unified control, even though they passed plenty of profligate spending, this plan failed, and the new one will, too. Both chamber of Congress this year passed legislation rebuking the forgiveness… which required Democratic votes!

Let it go.

Why does every website have auto play videos now? I just want to read.

They got your vote twice, and all you got was a lousy student loan payment.

🤡🤡🤡

Harvard To Get Around Affirmative Action Ban By Asking You Whether You Prefer BBQ, Ranch, Or Soy Sauce - Babylon Bee

Admissions faculty at Harvard was devastated today upon hearing the news that they could no longer use racial discrimination to turn their school into a diverse rainbow of beautiful mediocrity.

“But, look, 13 million jobs, again, when you think about how Americans feel better about their personal finances, that is important. When you think about wages are going up, when you think about the really good paying, millions of good-paying jobs, union jobs that his policies are going to create, all the things are really incredibly important. So the president’s going to continue to speak to that. And that’s what we believe we’re going…that is our, you know, our priority to do,” Jean-Pierre responded.

When did grammar become so unfashionable in the communications field?

The Espionage Act’s Ugly, Un-American History - WSJ Opinion

The U.S. must prosecute spies and protect national secrets, but the Espionage Act isn’t necessary to do so. More than a dozen more-specific federal statutes criminalize spying, hacking and misuse of government records. These statutes require criminal intent. Most of them expressly apply only to “employees and officers” of the U.S., so they couldn’t be used to target journalists or former presidents.

Pretty good take. Really highlights the bifurcation of justice over the past three decades.

EV Startup Lordstown, Once an Ohio Town’s Savior, Files for Bankruptcy - WSJ

Lordstown once said it would produce hundreds of thousands of vehicles in the former GM plant in Lordstown, Ohio, but so far it has made only a handful of trucks. The company’s market capitalization has fallen to $47.49 million as of Monday, from a peak of about $5 billion in February 2021.

This plant used to be a big waypoint on my travels between home and points north. Unbelievable how many financial advantages this company had, and they still blew it.

Ultimately, it seems like the cost of swimming against the current trying to bring a product to market that few can afford, and even fewer want.

A sense of trepidation overcomes me when I first open my inbox in the morning.

📥

Hunter Biden’s ‘Fair’ Tax Share - WSJ Opinion

The IRS team recommended that Hunter be prosecuted on felony charges of tax evasion for 2014 and false tax filings and a misdemeanor charge for 2015 of failure to pay tax. Yet because the U.S. Attorney waited so long to make a prosecutorial decision, the six-year statute of limitations expired. Hunter thus won’t pay taxes on more than $400,000 in unreported income for these years.

Nice tax break there.

Also notable are Hunter’s filings in 2018 and 2019, for which the IRS team also recommended felony charges of tax evasion and false returns. The second whistleblower testified that Hunter underreported his income for 2018 by anywhere from $267,000 to $500,000—depending on how conservatively the IRS counted.

So, in a period of 5 years, he underreported between $667,000 to $900,000 in income. And that’s a misdemeanor?

Toyota’s ‘Prone-to-Tears President’ Taps the Brakes on EVs - WSJ

Toyoda’s perception of himself as facing off with disparaging elites mirrors how he talks today about the auto world’s transition to electric vehicles. In December, Toyoda said he was standing up for a “silent majority” in the auto industry that questions whether it is right to make EVs the sole option for car buyers.

This realistic pragmatism is the same spirit that makes Toyota vehicles so reliable. Do well, stretch your engineering, but never fly too close to the sun.

Why You Shouldn’t Always Tell Your Bank How Much You Make - WSJ

A higher credit limit is generally good for your credit score, since you will be using a smaller share of your available credit, he said. (That might not be ideal if you think a higher limit will tempt you to overspend.) Updating your income could lead to other perks, such as qualifying you for an upgraded card or a home-equity line of credit.

Cool perks, bro.

Four hours of internet outage can either be a complete disaster or rocket fuel for productivity. 🚀

U.S. Offers India Drones, Jet Engines to Lure It From Russia - WSJ

“Ultimately, the question of where politics and the question of democratic institutions go in India is going to be determined within India by Indians,” Biden’s national security adviser, Jake Sullivan, told reporters ahead of the visit. “It’s not going to be determined by the United States.”

Not exactly the “Saudi Approach.”

Tongues Of Fire Come To Rest On Biden And Fetterman As They Speak In Unknown Languages | Babylon Bee

At publishing time, the nation’s foremost theologians were still hard at work searching for anyone with the spiritual gift of interpretation to translate what Biden and Fetterman said.

Sixth Guy Kicking Himself For Leaving The Company Before Five Guys Hit It Big | Babylon Bee

“I can’t believe I didn’t stick around,” said Mark Calloway, a close friend of the Murrell family that started the restaurant chain back in 1986.

Teamsters Vote to Authorize UPS Strike as Contract Talks Continue - WSJ

The union has said that a two-tier system of drivers allows UPS to use lower-paid workers to deliver packages on weekends, curbing delivery costs.

They must have a crack research team!

The IRS Makes Another House Call - WSJ Opinion

When an officer called Mr. Haus, Mr. Haus identified himself as an IRS agent but said Haus wasn’t his real name. He had used an alias.

A federal law enforcement, supposedly conducting a legitimate knock-and-talk, lied about his name? The whole story is bizarre.

Crypto Leaders Call For Infusion Of 20 Million Dopes To Stabilize Market | The Onion

“We’re calling for millions of bozos to be infused into the crypto market to stave off collapse and assure investors their money is safe,” said Circle CEO Jeremy Allaire

Biden Announces By 2025 All Wildfires Must Be Electric | Babylon Bee

The President hailed the move as another major step forward in his administration’s ongoing commitment to spend as many federal dollars on completely normal, practical, common-sense climate initiatives as possible.

King Solomon Lovingly Assures Wife She’s One In A Thousand | Babylon Bee

King Solomon initially kept track of his wives by their most notable physical characteristics. “Okay, that one is flock-of-sheep-teeth,” said King Solomon. “That one is goats-of-Gilead hair. Obviously, that one is Mrs. Fawns.”

Sad Trump Says He Was Just A Few Document Boxes Away From Building Really Cool Fort | Babylon Bee

“He’s a developer at heart,” said one member of the Trump team. “A border wall, an impressive resume of defeating impeachments and indictments, a fort made from document boxes…he always building something.”

A Destructive Trump Indictment - WSJ Opinion

It was once unthinkable in America that the government’s awesome power of prosecution would be turned on a political opponent. That seal has now been broken. It didn’t need to be. However cavalier he was with classified files, Mr. Trump did not accept a bribe or betray secrets to Russia. The FBI recovered the missing documents when it raided Mar-a-Lago, so presumably there are no more secret attack plans for Mr. Trump to show off.

Trump Indicted For Keeping Classified Documents In Mar-A-Lago Instead Of Somewhere Secure Like The Trunk Of A Corvette | Babylon Bee

Former President Donald Trump has officially been indicted by the federal government on seven counts of not storing highly classified documents in his garage behind a corvette.

White House Prepares for Possibility Supreme Court Could Kill Student Loan Forgiveness Plan - WSJ

Biden administration officials are quietly planning for the possibility that the Supreme Court could strike down President Biden’s sweeping student loan forgiveness program

An outcome that no one could’ve ever predicted.

Scholars Believe Noah Made Rookie Mistake Of Washing The Ark The Day Before It Started Raining | Babylon Bee

“Finally done!” Witnesses heard Noah say. “Now I’ll clean her up real nice, and she’ll be ready to show off.”

iOS 17 Can Automatically Clean Up Verification Codes That Clog Up Messages App - MacRumors

Finally!

Mission Impossible: 3

🍿

Report: Sandbag That Tripped Biden On Stage Also Participated In Jan 6 Capitol Riot | Babylon Bee

“We have also found a lengthy manifesto written by the sandbag,” the source said. “We will not be releasing the manifesto to the public due to the potential damage it could cause to our democracy, but it’s really bad. Just trust us, we’re the government.”

Senate Votes to Block Biden’s Student-Debt Relief Plan - WSJ

The Senate voted 52-46 Thursday to approve a Republican-led proposal to block President Biden’s hotly debated student-debt forgiveness plan, setting up an expected veto.

Congress has spoken, clearly.

If your projector screens have a more prominent place in your parish than the Tabernacle, you’re doing it wrong.

IRS Weighs Creating a Government-Run Tax-Prep Option - WSJ

“It’s problematic that we instead provide it through these private corporations that prey on people and extract profits from taxpayers that are just fulfilling that civic duty.”

No one has to use paid software, the forms are available everywhere and you can do them by hand.

What’s problematic is that we’ve implemented a tax code that’s so complex that even accounts and CPAs use software to prepare their own returns.

I pay $60 to TurboTax to save me tens of hours per year on preparing my return. If the IRS prepares a “draft” for me, with the strong incentive for them to make calculation decisions in their favor, how much more will that cost me?

Some Buy Now Pay Later Users Face Rejection - WSJ

In December, Sezzle launched a service it says helps lower transaction costs and avoid loan losses: Pay-in-Full. A customer gets retail perks, but the customer buys now and pays now.

Fascinating! Tell me more!

FDA Advisers Back Over-the-Counter Birth Control Pill - WSJ

The panel of FDA advisers voted 17 to 0 on Wednesday that there was enough evidence for the agency to approve the medication’s sale over-the-counter.

Unanimous.

Just like Tylenol, only the effects last forever.

The advisory panel voted to make Opill available without a prescription despite the FDA’s concerns, citing the effectiveness and safety of oral contraceptives.

Fentanyl is pretty safe, too.

ObamaCare, Zombie Banks and JPMorgan - WSJ Opinion

Ended was a distinct Carter-Reagan-Clinton era in which, in select but significant arenas, government actually approached problems rationally. It tackled failing policies from a perspective of replacing bad incentives with good ones, in airline deregulation, in tax reform, in welfare reform. Policy confabs, white papers and wonk books supported an appetite for coherent policy reform, little of which is visible today. We get instead shallowly conceived but expensive programs meant to appeal to the public’s superficial understanding. We get things like massive handouts to people to buy Teslas and pretend we’re doing something about climate change.

In other words, all the serious people in government left. All that remains are the dweebs that will say or do anything just to get people to like them.

Patients Lose Access to Free Medicines Amid Spat Between Drugmakers, Health Plans - WSJ

Growing numbers of people with insurance must also pay a sum, called a deductible, at the start of each year before their health plan will start reimbursing for drugs.

This is a direct result of government interventions in healthcare markets.

The Affordable Care Act drove patients into high deductible plans, and boy are those deductibles high, while the Inflation Reduction Act introduced prescription price controls.

It’s really, really expensive for patients when the government “helps.”

U.S. Covid Vaccine Mandates to End May 11 for Federal Workers, Others - WSJ

The White House plans to end the Covid-19 vaccine requirements for federal workers, federal contractors and international air travelers on May 11, as the pandemic public health emergency ends. 

Good thing we fired all those people.

Spinning Federal Mortgage Fees - WSJ Opinion

The American Enterprise Institute looked at default rates of Fannie/Freddie owner-occupied 30-year fixed rate purchase loans acquired in 2006-2007 and found that among borrowers with credit scores between 720 and 769 and 20% down payments, the default rate was between 4.2% and 8.8%. Among borrowers with less than 4% down payments and credit scores between 620 and 639, the default rate was between 39.3% and 56.2%.

Fauci Says He Never Locked Anything Down And Has Never Heard Of COVID - Babylon Bee

“COVID? I’ve never even heard of such a thing! What is COVID? That sounds made up!”

McCarthy Gets a Debt-Ceiling Win - WSJ Opinion

The plan also cancels the President’s student loan write-off and blocks a proposal to cap borrower loan payments at de minimis levels, which combined would save $460 billion from 2023 to 2033. A White House press release claims these measures “hurt students.” Since when is requiring borrowers repay their loans a form of punishment?

Fidelity and State Street Push to Make 401(k)s More Like Pensions - WSJ

The income-producing funds are coming to market a few years after Congress made it easier for employers to offer annuities in 401(k) plans. The law protects employers that follow certain procedures from being sued if they select an annuity from an insurance company that later fails to make the promised payments.

Nice lobbying!

Biden Administration Considers Tougher Regulation of Money-Market, Hedge Funds - WSJ

“The authority for emergency interventions is critical. But equally as important is a supervisory and regulatory regime that can help prevent financial disruptions from starting and spreading in the first place,” Ms. Yellen said Friday. 

Hard to take this quote seriously, in light of recent events.

FAA Acting Chief Billy Nolen to Depart - WSJ

Mr. Nolen’s planned departure comes as the agency faces challenges including a spate of serious near-collisions at U.S. airports and failing technology that earlier this year ground U.S. air traffic to a halt.

But we can all at least feel good that Mr. Nolan’s focus on replacing the word “airman” with more inclusive terms will make aviation a much more inviting place for all theys.

Biden’s Second-Term Mistake - WSJ Opinion

But asking the country to elect a man who is 80 years old and whose second term would end when he is 86 is a risky act that borders on selfish. It’s impossible to know Mr. Biden’s real physical and mental state because the White House goes to great lengths to hide it. But his decline is clear to anyone who isn’t willfully blind. He rarely holds a press conference, and his words are as scripted as possible to avoid embarrassing stumbles that he nonetheless continues to make.

Apple Card’s new high-yield Savings account is now available, offering a 4.15 percent APY - Apple

To build on their savings even further, users can deposit additional funds into their Savings account through a linked bank account, or from their Apple Cash balance.

Why didn’t they enable this for all Wallet users?

It was fun to collect, but now it’s time to cash in

Peppa Pig’s Family Vacation Ruined By Jesus Healing Demoniac At Nearby Cemetery - Babylon Bee

“Mommy Pig, why is Auntie Pig screaming and running into the sea?” asked Peppa Pig.

High Energy Costs Threaten Climate Goals, Energy Secretary Jennifer Granholm Warns - WSJ

“People still have to be persuaded that the cost of clean is cheaper,” she said. “They have to see that in real terms.”

Yes, show me that it’s cheap and abundant, and I don’t care how power gets generated. But they need to stand on their own… not cheap because of direct subsidies.

Ads make the internet ugly.

Happy Easter!

When Simon Peter arrived after him, he went into the tomb and saw the burial cloths there, and the cloth that had covered his head, not with the burial cloths but rolled up in a separate place. (John 20:6-7)

Annual reminder that Jesus’ first priority after rising from the dead was to make his bed.

Credit Card Rewards Are Heading Toward a Crisis - WSJ

“High-FICO cardholders on average earn money with the use of reward cards while low-FICO cardholders on average lose money,” they wrote. Overall, the study found that rewards cards drove a $15 billion annualized “redistribution” from low-score to high-score consumers.

In other words, poor people are the ones paying the rewards bar tab for rich people.

Mike Lindell Draws Sword, Cuts Off Ear Of Officer Attempting To Arrest Trump - Babylon Bee

“There, good as new!” Trump told Officer Sam Malchus. “Even better than new, if you can believe it. You probably have super sonic hearing now. All thanks to me, your favorite president!”

Pandora’s Donald Trump Prosecution - WSJ Opinion

The danger for America is the precedent this prosecution sets. Mr. Bragg is busting a political norm that has stood for 230 years. Once a former President and current candidate is indicted, some local Republican prosecutor will look to make a name for himself by doing the same to a Democrat. U.S. democracy will be further abused and battered. Mr. Bragg, the provincial progressive, is unleashing forces that all of us may come to regret.

Elon Musk’s Move to Monetize Twitter’s Blue Check Mark Riles Celebrities - WSJ

Twitter Inc.’s plan to remove legacy blue check marks for verified accounts heralds an end to a longtime social-media status symbol and is prompting complaints from some of the platform’s celebrity contributors concerned about potential impersonation.

Poor Blue Checks!!

The FDIC’s Sweetheart Bank Deal for SVB - WSJ Opinion

The losers in this sweetheart deal will be other banks (and their customers) that will have to pick up the estimated $20 billion cost to replenish the deposit insurance fund. That’s about 15% of the entire fund. By comparison, the 214 bank failures between 2011 and 2022 cost the fund $12.4 billion.

Student-Loan Forgiveness Plan Faces Fresh GOP Resistance - WSJ

Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer, a Democrat, called the GOP effort “callous and uncaring” and promised to oppose it. 

Says the man who just spent $6T that we don’t have?

Democrats Vow To Arrest As Many Political Opponents As It Takes To Defeat Fascism - Babylon Bee

“Fascism is a clear and present danger in this country,” began Senator Chuck Schumer, “and the only way to defeat it is with a corrupt, all-powerful police state that can imprison anyone who disagrees with us politically. If we don’t do this, fascism will win.”

Few people know this, but “Walmart” is an acronym for “every cart is broken.”

🛒

Donald Trump Grand Jury Is Called Off for Wednesday - WSJ

In case you’ve ever wondered why grand jury proceedings are supposed to be secret.

All this “will they?” “Won’t they?” is prejudicial to the defendant. Then, if there’s no indictment, the target gets tarred for no good reason.

It’s kind of poetic that 15 years of financial regulatory decisions have only served to ignite the current crisis.

What Gets Lost When You Rescue Markets - WSJ

The attempt to eradicate failure from the financial system, of course, is part of modern society’s broader push to make life itself riskless and idiot-proof, with indestructible baby strollers, child-resistant drug packaging, almost self-driving cars and shoe removal at airport security.

Remarks by President Biden on Maintaining a Resilient Banking System and Protecting our Historic Economic Recovery - The White House

Third, investors in the banks will not be protected.  They knowingly took a risk and when the risk didn’t pay off, investors lose their money.  That’s how capitalism works.

It’s amusing how the administration loves to trash investors as if they’re evil fat cats.

Silicon Valley Financial Group and Signature Bank were both part of the S&P 500. So if you have an S&P 500 index fund/etf, a total market index fund, or target date retirement funds, you got wiped out.

This is the wisdom of diversification, but it’s so odd that the President is flippant about these losses when most of the shareholders are just normal teachers, firefighters, and engineers investing in their 401k.

Even more perplexing is that all of the uninsured depositors who were saved are the real fat cats of finance, Venture Capital.

SVB, Signature Bank Depositors to Get All Their Money as Fed Moves to Stem Crisis - WSJ

The government’s bank-deposit insurance fund will cover all deposits at the two banks, rather than the standard $250,000. Federal regulators said any losses to the government’s fund would be recovered in a special assessment on banks and that the U.S. taxpayers wouldn’t bear any losses.

“Special assessment on banks” is code for a one-time additional charge to all FDIC insured banks. In other words, all US banks will kick in to cover the uninsured depositors.

Banks will then turn around and pass this mandated cost-of-doing-business on to their customers in the form of higher interest rates, higher fees, and lower deposit rates.

Genius! We must all band together and save the start-ups who knew they were uninsured, but bravely carried on into the great unknown.

Investor Relieved He Pulled Money Out Of Crypto And Put It In The Bank For Safekeeping - Babylon Bee

“Really dodged a bullet there,” said Mr. Sandlin. “Cryptocurrency was getting too risky. You never know when one of these currencies will just suddenly go under.”

Ukraine Asks Merrick Garland To Leave As They Already Have Enough Corrupt Government Officials - Babylon Bee

Sources say the Attorney General stammered in response, citing his lengthy rap sheet which included sending the FBI after parents who protest at school board meetings, sending militarized police units to pro-life protestors’ homes, and investigating “radical Catholics.”

Biden’s ESG Veto Is Revealing - WSJ Opinion

The rule would drive more savings into ESG funds that typically charge higher fees by letting retirement sponsors offer them as default options in 401(k) plans. Workers can opt out of default plans but usually don’t. Why isn’t Mr. Biden lambasting ESG funds for charging “junk fees”?

To Catch Up On Today’s News, Man Just Reads 2-Year-Old Posts On Conspiracy Blog - Babylon Bee

“When I did some research, I realized all the conspiracy theorists were exactly two years ahead of the media in reporting the facts,” said Rorch while pulling up IlluminatiWatch.com and searching old posts for current updates on politics, culture, and international affairs.

Tweetbot and Twitterrific updated with option to opt-out of subscription refund – Six Colors

it’s also kind of awkward, given that the money comes out of the pockets of those independent app developers like Tapbots and The Iconfactory, who got just as much of the short end of the stick as their users—if not more so. So for both apps there’s also an option to opt out of the refund.

It’s easy to feel sympathy for these app developers put out of business overnight, but that’s the inherent danger building a business that’s entirely reliant upon one client. Small businesses all over the country have the same problem, go out of business, and get no sympathy.

Unpopular opinion: pro-rated refunds mean that the customer pre-paid for a year of service. The fact that the business assumed that those users would stay a full year and not be due a refund (and already spent that revenue) is not the customer’s fault. It’s a cash flow planning error.

At the end of the day, this was a risky business model and it’s not a surprise that it failed.

Senate Votes 50-46 to Reverse ESG Rule for Retirement Funds - WSJ

Advocates say that addressing climate change, improving corporate governance and encouraging diversity can boost profits.

The data says ESG is another way for Wall Street to fleece the retail investor. ESG funds are proven to be more expensive and deliver lower returns than their peers. Also, no one agrees on was ESG is.

ESG is a marketing play by a desperate industry that got run over by ultra-low cost index funds that deliver market returns. Allowing them into 401k plans will leave American workers with less money in retirement.

Navy to rename USS Chancellorsville for former slave Robert Smalls - Task & Purpose

Implementing the Naming Commission’s renaming plan is expected to cost the Defense Department roughly $62.5 million, according to the commission’s final report.

Biden’s Regulatory Deluge - WSJ Opinion

The Constitution grants the power to make laws to Congress, not agencies. But in calendar 2021, Mr. Crews notes, agencies issued 3,257 rules, including 105 last-minute Trump rules, while Congress passed 143 laws. Last year they added another 3,168 rules in the Federal Register to go with 247 laws passed by Congress. That’s 13 rules from unelected agencies for every one law from elected legislators.

The Gaslighting of East Palestine - WSJ Opinion

Today’s fear is the price Americans are paying for the public-health authorities’ response to Covid. So many things experts claimed in the name of science—from the efficacy of masks to the shortcomings of natural immunity—turned out not to be true. The result is East Palestine, where many ask why they should now believe authorities who assure them the air and water are safe.

Biden Draws Distinction Between Classified Documents Found at His Homes and Trump’s - WSJ

He was apparently referring to a widely circulated photo showing documents that federal agents had laid out; the image didn’t represent how Mr. Trump kept the papers.  

This is the first time I’m getting this information.

Pentagon Spent At Least $1.5 Million on Missiles to Down Three High-Altitude Objects - WSJ

That figure is only for the four AIM-9X Sidewinder missiles used to bring down the objects over Alaska, Canada’s Yukon territory and Lake Huron. It doesn’t include the cost for Navy, Coast Guard, Alaska National Guard and Canadian forces to search for the debris, which likely will add hundreds of thousands of dollars to the cost, the officials said.

Oh, and oops, we didn’t find anything.

And everyone gets to keep their jobs!

The flights used to spot the balloons and eventually shoot them down aren’t part of the cost estimates because the U.S. military considers the flights part of its pilots’ training and has already budgeted those flight hours, the defense officials said.

Yup, just a little unplanned scramble and live-fire exercise outside of designated ranges and airspace. Just your classic, garden variety training flight.

Donald Trump Visits Ohio Train-Derailment Site, in Early Salvo of 2024 Race - WSJ

President Biden was briefed on conditions in East Palestine while he was rallying Europe to Ukraine’s aid in Warsaw, Poland, while former President Donald Trump visited the disaster site Wednesday afternoon.

This derailment happened more than two weeks before Biden left the country. He hasn’t been to the site because he’s consciously chosen not to go. The Transportation Secretary will be there 20 days after the derailment, but didn’t announce a trip until after Trump came and left.

This is why Trump won in 2016, and why he’s still a contender. Politicians are briefed from afar, appearing cold and aloof. Trump is unafraid to get up close and personal and comes off as compassionate and engaged.

Lately the narrative has been the derailment is Trump!s fault because he cancelled an Obama-era rule about train braking systems.

The head of the National Transportation Safety Board has said that the brake rule wouldn’t have applied to the derailed Norfolk Southern train.

A narrative that changes the story but is completely irrelevant to the facts.

This exact series events is the quintessential behavior of the political class that put Trump in office and they’re laying the groundwork to do it all over again.

Crypto Still Draws Everyday Investors Hoping to Strike It Rich - WSJ

Some individual investors’ enduring enthusiasm for crypto stems in part from a sense that traditional routes to wealth are blocked off, say investors and researchers who study their behavior. Those everyday investors say that those paths, such as earning income, investing long-term in stocks, and buying real estate, seem less accessible and less lucrative than crypto, even with its significant risks.

Working a job and investing for the long term is less accessible than being a crypto bro?

Sixth Grader Swears His Science Homework Was Blown Up By A Sidewinder Missile - Babylon Bee

Though Jared had never been a problem student, his teacher found his outlandish excuse difficult to believe. “I’ve been a schoolteacher for over 30 years,” said Carla Riley. “I’ve heard just about every excuse there is, but this one about the United States Air Force shooting down a sixth-grade science project really takes the cake.”

The Junk Economics of ‘Junk-Fee’ Politics - WSJ Opinion

There’s no such thing as a free financial product. If regulators limit one source of revenue, businesses will find another to cover their costs. That is one lesson from the Dodd-Frank Act, which limited debit-card fees that banks charge retailers for using their network. As a result, banks increased overdraft fees.

Super Bowl Flyover Featuring All Female Pilots Running 20 Minutes Late - Babylon Bee

“Believe me, we will step on the gas and show everyone some woman power just as soon as we can! Until then - wait, hold on now - did we all just show up in the same flight outfit??” At publishing time, the team pushed back their arrival another ten minutes after one of the pilots burned out her landing gear taxiing with the parking brake on.

To Cover Rising Costs, Hunter Now Charging 15% For The Big Guy - Babylon Bee

At publishing time, Hunter offered to sweeten the deal with the CCP by adding a pile of classified documents from the junk drawer.

I have 50 unread emails.

Not great.

U.S. Air Defenses Failed to Spot Earlier Chinese Balloon Intrusions, General Says - WSJ

“This gave us the opportunity to assess what they were actually doing, what kind of capabilities existed on the balloon, what kind of transmission capabilities existed,” Gen. VanHerck added. “I think you’ll see in the future that that timeframe was well worth its value to collect over.”

Job well done, then!

China Assures Warships Heading For Taiwan Are Just Meteorological Warships - Babylon Bee

“We have learned much about the weather in Hong Kong, and now it’s time to study Taiwan. The Chinese Communist Party appreciates America’s patience while we battle climate change, one country at a time.”

Biden Says He’ll Shoot Down Chinese Spy Balloon As Soon As He’s Done Letting It Spy - Babylon Bee

At publishing time, Eric Swalwell had been seen approaching the spy balloon and asking for its number.

The Market Tanked, but Americans Kept Piling Money Into Their 401(k)s - WSJ

About 90% of investors in the 401(k)-style retirement plans administered by Vanguard Group maintained or increased their savings rate in 2022. And trading activity fell to a two-decade low among participants who manage their own investments

Long-term investors love a good sale.

A Consumption Tax Is the Shock Our Broken System Needs - WSJ Opinion

Others complain that the rate will be high. An effective 30% consumption tax, added to state sales taxes as high as 10%, could add up to a 40% or greater rate. But taxes overall must finance what the government spends. Collecting it in one tax rather than lots of smaller taxes doesn’t change the overall rate. It’s better for voters to see how much the government takes.

This is a really good point. We’re lulled to sleep with a myriad of nickel and dime taxes. Added together, the bill would shock every taxpayer.

Biden Shows Off New Electric Car That Can Hold Over 17 Boxes Of Classified Documents - Babylon Bee

“I can get all of these top-secret files to my beach house on a single charge! Not a joke!” said Biden, cruising up Pennsylvania Avenue. “Wait, weren’t there eighteen boxes? Eh, who cares. Who wants ice cream??” President Biden drove the car as part of his climate initiative, hoping to encourage everyday Americans to purchase $100,000 electric vehicles.

Biden Administration to Propose Rule to Lower Credit-Card Late Fees - WSJ

“Many Americans believe these fees are just plain wrong,” CFPB director Rohit Chopra said Tuesday in a preview of the late-fee proposal.

Except they haven’t voted with their wallets and switched cards or traded out for debit. So now the government is going to get involved in this private contract and “help?” It’s just moving the pea.

Biden Proposes End to Moral Exemption for Birth-Control Coverage - WSJ

The Biden administration proposed an end to an exemption allowing health plans to exclude coverage of no-cost birth control on moral grounds

Isn’t having a Catholic president so wonderful?

This proposal leaves religious objections in tact (for now), but bears the same level of contempt for anyone who dares question the technocrats.

Local Church Turns To Robo-Greeters To Combat Volunteer Shortage - Babylon Bee

At publishing time, attendance at the Cornerstone Calvary Community Congregation City Church had seen a bump in the demographic of boys age 5-13

I’m owed a refund, but the IRS tried to charge me a $7 underpayment on estimated payments penalty.

I had the data to support the annualized method, so the penalty went away.

Still, there’s a penalty for underpaying the taxes that you don’t owe?

Biden Claps In Amazement After FBI Agent Pulls Classified Document From Behind His Ear - The Onion

At press time, sources confirmed the federal officer had responded to the president’s calls for an encore by pulling a pair of handcuffs from his sleeve.

The State Wealth-Tax Alliance - WSJ Opinion

Including federal levies, this means politicians would take half of every dollar in investment earnings. You take all the risk, the politicians get half the gain. The legislators say their plans will fund social spending, but they have a specific recipient in mind. The multistate launch was coordinated by Fund Our Future, an advocacy group affiliated with the American Federation of Teachers. As usual, public unions are pushing the progressive lawmakers they fund to tap new streams of tax revenue so they can get bigger salaries and pensions.

Taxing to share expenses is one thing; taxing out of envy is quite another.

McCarthy Kicks Two Democrats Off House Intelligence Panel - WSJ

“I think it’s just another body blow to the institution of Congress that he is behaving this way, but it shows just how weak he is as a speaker that he has to give in to the most extreme elements of this conference,” Mr. Schiff said on Tuesday.

I wonder where the Speaker got this bizarre idea that he could make committee assignments for the Minority.

White House Proudly Hangs ‘1 Day Without Classified Documents Discovered At President’s House’ Sign - Babylon Bee

Sources in Washington confirmed there will be a ceremony and a few remarks by the President this evening to celebrate the occasion. The ceremony will include some classified documents cake and some classified documents origami displays followed by a special reading of the classified documents.

I will never understand people who pump gas while their car is running.

Banks Plan Payment Wallet to Compete With PayPal, Apple Pay - WSJ

Wells Fargo & Co., Bank of America Corp., JPMorgan Chase & Co. and four other banks are working on a new product that will allow shoppers to pay at merchants’ online checkout with a wallet that will be linked to their debit and credit cards.

These banks are really good at spending money making duplicative products that are much worse and used by no one.

Amazon to Wind Down Charity-Donation Program AmazonSmile - WSJ

“After almost a decade, the program has not grown to create the impact that we had originally hoped,” Amazon said in an email to customers enrolled in the program.

Perhaps if they hadn’t appointed Ebenezer Scrooge to design the program, they’d have reached their goals.

Customers had to opt-in, then use the smile.amazon.com URL every single time they shopped. For this extensive effort, Amazon would generously reward the charity of choice with $0.50 per $100 spent.

Hard to believe this program made so little impact in a decade of operation.

the average donation for a charity in the U.S. last year was less than $230.

The Power of “Pre-Day” Journaling - Day One

Pre-day is the early morning before the rest of the world wakes up. It’s one of the quietest times of day, allowing your mind to breathe, think, process emotion, and prime your mental state to thrive in the coming hours. 

Man Pops Car Hood, Thus Exhausting His Knowledge Of How Cars Work - Babylon Bee

A neighbor stopped by after seeing the open car hood and offered assistance by standing next to Snodgram and staring at the clicking engine. He then went the extra mile by suggesting they close the hood and lift it again to see if that would help. It did not.

Yum.

Just opened my son’s first checking account and Roth IRA.

He’s pretty excited!

I quit Twitter five years ago because it was a joyless place.

Not sure why it’s taken everyone else this long to figure that out.

Alec Baldwin to Be Charged With Involuntary Manslaughter in Fatal ‘Rust’ Shooting - WSJ

Prosecutors plan to charge Alec Baldwin with involuntary manslaughter in the fatal shooting of a cinematographer on the set of the movie “Rust” in New Mexico in 2021, the district attorney in Santa Fe said Thursday.

No way this team convinces 12 New Mexicans to vote guilty.

Ph.D. Students of the World, Unite - WSJ Opinion

In the private economy, unions face limits on their demands lest they bankrupt their companies and end up unemployed. Government unions, by contrast, often sit on both sides of the bargaining table since politicians who negotiate with them are usually their political allies, and taxpayers foot the bill.

Medical Residents Unionize Over Pay, Working Conditions - WSJ

“When there’s extra work, the burden falls on us,” Dr. Kaur said.

Welcome to Medicine?

The quality of a physician is directly related to the amount they were challenged in residency. Easier residency experiences produce poorer quality physicians.

If you don’t have cold brew, or you don’t have heavy whipping cream, you’re not a coffee shop.

Kamala Harris Assures Public No One Has Given Her Single Classified Document - The Onion

“Please take comfort when I say I have no security clearance, on any level. My key fob doesn’t even work most days, and I have to text someone on my staff to come let me in. Yesterday, I stood outside the White House in the cold for 15 minutes before anyone came to get me.”

Crypto.com Cuts 20% of Staff, Citing Economic Hurdles and FTX Collapse - WSJ

Crypto.com is cutting a fifth of its global workforce, in a second round of layoffs in six months

Fortune doesn’t favor the brave.

Christmas gift from Alison, a reusable tea bag.

FAA Pilot-Alert System Breakdown Followed Years of Warnings - WSJ

Rep. Mark DeSaulnier (D., Calif.), who has advocated for overhauling the FAA’s Notam system, said modernizing its content and technology go hand in hand. “The pilots, the users, tend to not rely on it as much because they don’t have confidence that the system—both the content and the architecture—is reliable,” he said in an interview. 

False, false, false.

Pilots cannot legally operate any flight without checking NOTAMs.

There’s a lot of useless info in there, yes. But a lot of vital information, too.

Is there anyplace that Biden didn’t stash classified docs?

Bottom line: either we’re classifying way too many documents, or we’re not doing enough to hold people accountable for mishandling them.

Probably a bit of both.

What is a NOTAM? - Federal Aviation Administration

Changed the acronym NOTAM from Notice to Airmen to the more applicable term Notice to Air Missions, which is inclusive of all aviators and missions.

Thank goodness the government is focused on the issues that really matter.

Classified Documents Found at Biden’s Vice Presidential Center - WSJ

Earlier this year in an interview with CBS’s “60 Minutes,” Mr. Biden offered his reaction to the news that Mr. Trump had taken classified materials from the White House, characterizing Mr. Trump’s actions as “totally irresponsible.” He also wondered “how that could possibly happen.”

Strong agree.

Beautiful sky.

Lego Introduces First-Ever Affordable Lego Set - Babylon Bee

Motivated by worldwide economic stagnation, engineers at Lego headquarters in Billund have developed the first-ever affordable LEGO® set: a single brick that retails for a meager $9.99.

Remaining Avengers Team Up To Battle Snow Plow - Babylon Bee

Using Hawkeye’s accident as a rallying cry, the Avengers vowed to defeat the evil Snow Plow and complete the job of clearing the driveway of Hawkeye’s ski retreat.

AOC Asks Why We Need A House Speaker Since Everyone Already Has Headphones - Babylon Bee

The room fell silent as lawmakers from both sides of the aisle turned to listen to Ocasio-Cortez’s wisdomly soliloquy as she described how the whole world surely receives piles of nice headphones in little gift bags from well-dressed lobbyists just like she does, begging the question: Why speakers?

Military to proceed with changing names of bases honoring Confederate generals - WTOP

The bases are the largest items the Naming Commission recommends renaming, but it has also listed more than 1,000 items in the military’s inventory that should be renamed, removed, or modified.

Many of the items to be removed are paintings of Civil War era scenes.

Maybe we can burn the canvases with the books and save some time.

Celsius Network Wins Ownership Rights to Customer Crypto Deposits - WSJ

A bankruptcy judge ruled that digital coins deposited in Celsius Network LLC’s interest-bearing accounts belong to the firm, ruling against thousands of customers and deciding a key legal issue in crypto-related insolvencies.

DocuSign is a very nice tool.

New for 2023, Applied Bioethics Magazine is free to read on the web. Enjoy!

⚕️

This is a new post.

Clowns Debate Who Will Be Elected Next King Of The Clowns - Babylon Bee

At publishing time, voting was further delayed after a clown brawl broke out.

New year, day 1.