Hot coffee, open windows, 53 degrees, lofi streaming.

Happy Wednesday!

🌤️

Lots of nature on this morning’s walk.

New fawn, red fox, and a turtle.

🦌🦊🐢

Thomas Massie Defeated in GOP Primary After Attacks From Trump - WSJ

President Trump’s handpicked House candidate defeated longtime GOP antagonist Rep. Thomas Massie, underscoring the president’s iron grip on the Republican Party and the dire political consequences for lawmakers who defy him headed into the midterm elections.

Outstanding! A threadbare majority is the perfect time to implement purity tests. Attack your friends first, that’s what I always say. Winning!

Treasury Lawyer Brian Morrissey Quits as Government Settles Trump IRS Suit - WSJ

The settlement created a $1.8 billion “Anti-Weaponization Fund” that would pay people who claim they were targeted unfairly by past administrations.

I wonder where they’ll get the money.

Why Trump Bucked Republicans With a Risky Bet on Texas’ Ken Paxton - WSJ

The decision, which came after months of waffling, reflected the president’s renewed conviction that he maintains an iron grip on the party following recent electoral victories, according to people familiar with his thinking. It was also a warning shot to Republicans in Congress that Trump won’t tolerate dissent.

Dumb.

Some Republicans worry Trump’s endorsement of Paxton will make an already expensive race even more costly, and they point to Paxton’s personal and political scandals. Texas Republicans continue to support Paxton for his conservative policies, and they argue he has been unfairly targeted. 

One scandal, okay. Two? Maybe. Four? No way. And those stupid fake lawsuits to shake down companies.

Man Cured Of Depression After Doctor Prescribes Millennium Falcon LEGO Set - Babylon Bee

The 39-year-old upstate New York native had explored many different treatment options for his degrading mental health, but had never been prescribed LEGO or even experimented with LEGO recreationally.

Power is out, generator is on.

Estimated time of restoration? I don’t care.

🔌😎

“Dear Dad,

Thank you for all you did for me from 2018 to 2026. Thank you for taking good care of me when I needed you the most. Thank you.

Your Truly Love, Lucy”

‘Sidewalk Closed’ Sign Leaves Pedestrians Frightened, Wandering Helplessly - The Onion

…a growing crowd of disoriented commuters were milling anxiously in front of the sign, with one woman sobbing quietly into her hands and saying, “But this is the sidewalk,” while several others began drifting aimlessly into yards, bushes, and even the street.

Just getting started on Issue No. 02 of Applied Bioethics Magazine. It’ll be out in a few weeks and I’m really excited about this issue.

🏔️

Squad.

When the wind blows in just the right direction, the scent of that lilac bush flows right into my office.

Scary tax bill in the mail was quickly fixed thanks to all those receipts I always save.

Whew!

😅

Report: CIA Raided By CIA - Babylon Bee

“We suspect we’ve been up to no good for a long time,” said one CIA insider who asked to remain anonymous. “We’ve been allowed to run roughshod over the world for long enough, and it’s time for us to hold us accountable for the things we believe we may have done.”

Bloom.

SEO experts are excellent at building websites for robots. Not so good at building for humans.

Why doesn’t Google make it easy to manage a shared contact list in Workspace?

It is truly shocking how inept Medical Billing can be.

DOJ Charges Synergy, Shipping Operator Involved in Deadly Francis Scott Key Bridge Collapse - WSJ

A loose wire in a high-voltage switchboard likely caused the first power loss, federal prosecutors said. 

Another reminder of the importance of getting the little things right.

New York Man Convicted After Opening Chinese Police Station - WSJ

Prosecutors said Lu conspired with officials in China’s Ministry of Public Security to open a police station in a Manhattan Chinatown community center where he held a leadership role.

Wild.

It is so easy to get a cell phone number and plan now.

No more stores or appointments or hours. A $3 SIM card on Amazon, and 7 minutes at my computer and I’m all set for $10 a month.

📱

U.S. Air Force Special Operations Aircraft Accused Of Austrian Airspace Incursion - TWZ

the Austrian Air Force scrambled Eurofighter Typhoons in response to the alleged flights in the neutral country’s airspace.

Whoa! Austria has a military?

Just When I Thought The World Couldn’t Get Any Worse, My Wife Makes Me Go To A Play - The Onion

Sometimes I get so bored, I start watching the play. It’s enough to make me wish the next world war would just happen already. If this theater was bombed by China tonight, well, let’s just say I’d welcome them as liberators.

The all new PlaneDocs website is now live.

✈️

Just had Chat design some new email signatures for me using HTML. Incredible!

📨

Meanwhile at ChetComm HQ.

Three Republicans Thrown Into Fiery Furnace For Not Bowing Down To Trump Statue - Babylon Bee

At publishing time, Republicans were shocked to see a fourth man standing in the fire with them: Mike Pence.

Big week for web design.

Family ride.

Markdown + Ulysses = 💯

Heavenly delights

Oil Tanker Slips Anonymously Through Strait Of Hormuz By Adding Fake Nose And Mustache - Babylon Bee

The tanker, known as the Delta Magnus, nonchalantly floated in disguise past both the Iranian and American blockades, leaving both sides none the wiser.

A gift from my daughter.

For my brave Dad who soars the unknown skies.

The Summer Portraits by Ludovico Einaudi

🎼

Canopy birdsong at dawn.

I don’t know what to make of dealer maintenance shops. Just when I started to think they got the message and were trying to do a better job, they marked both cabin and engine air filters as “caution.”

What they didn’t know is that I just changed both with brand new filters two weeks ago.

So they didn’t actually look, or…?

Let’s ride.

🚲

God Discontinues The Pebble - The Onion

“Starting in the year of our Me 2026, I will be ceasing creation of the pebble so that I can turn My focus toward stones, rocks, and boulders,” said the all-knowing and all-powerful deity, who stressed that there were already 300 billion pebbles in circulation, the vast majority of which were no longer being used by humanity.

I will never stop learning.

But sometimes I find an error so basic in my web design, I just can’t believe it got by me.

ChatGPT’s image generation skills have improved considerably. I needed a dummy logo to go on a landing page and I think it nailed it.

Pages > Word

‘A Civilization Will Die Tonight,’ Says Donald Trump As He Enters All-You-Can-Eat Shrimp Buffet - Babylon Bee

Trump greeted staff cordially before being seated at a presidential booth once used by William Howard Taft.

A very long day of troubleshooting a serious web design problem that was traced to something quite trivial.

I’m exhausted.

Parents Excited To Learn What Grade They Got On Their Kid’s Science Project - Babylon Bee

“She wanted to help, but she just doesn’t write neatly enough for the tri-fold, and she’s liable to mess up some of the placement of the dowel rods. In the end, it really worked better for her to watch Zootopia 2 while we got down to business.”

With over a decade of web design, I’ve accumulated a lot of abandoned files.

Time for some spring cleaning.

Jumping The Shark: ‘The Chosen’ Criticized For Planning To Kill Off Main Character Only To Resurrect Him Next Episode - Babylon Bee

Fans and critics alike feared the best days of The Chosen may be behind it, with the writers clearly struggling for direction as to what to do with the central character.

TV writing has gotten so lazy.

I normally am at Inbox Zero.

I have 145 emails in my inbox, 45 of which are unread, and 52 transactions to approve in YNAB.

PE

Emotional Passengers Board Final Spirit Airlines Flight For One Last All-Out Brawl - Babylon Bee

Airline staff reportedly worked hard to preserve the authentic Spirit experience for the final voyage, including overbooking the flight by 60% and charging an additional $45 “pre-fight positioning fee” for passengers hoping to start conflicts near the aisle. Flight attendants, many of whom appeared visibly moved, have vowed to help instigate several conflicts and then not intervene during the altercations

The reward for finishing the chores.

Clean house, fresh mulch, cut yard.

Ready for the weekend.

New bike day.

Theologians Struggling To Explain How Loving God Could Allow Ohio - Babylon Bee

but when you look at a landscape that is 98% corn and 2% orange road construction cones, it becomes difficult to argue for a divine plan.

2% seems low based on my experience.

Skittles the chipmunk.

🐿️

I have successfully trapped a chipmunk who was living under the foundation of the garage.

Unfortunately the children just announced that they’ve named it “Skittles.”

🐿️

ChatGPT is an incredible tool for solving all sorts of web design problems.

After dinner play.

Things 3 is a great app.

Sometimes I wonder when Things 4 is coming out, but what could they possibly improve?

Trump, Omar Argue Over Whether It’s ‘Two Corinthians’ Or ‘Eleven Corinthians’ - Babylon Bee

“Everybody knows it’s Two Corinthians. One Corinthians and Two Corinthians. It’s simple counting, and I am the best at counting,” said Trump.

Though they did not believe me when I told them last fall, the kids are now obsessed with their bikes.

This will be a memorable summer for them all.

☀️🚴🏻‍♂️

Architect Carefully Designs Airport So Rental Car Center Is Conveniently Located 75 Miles Away - Babylon Bee

Critics argued the distance is excessive, but the airport planning board disagreed. They claim the separation promotes mindfulness and gives passengers ample time to think as they take the seemingly endless walk to pick up their rental vehicle.

Kristi Noem Has Continued Using a Waterfront Coast Guard House Since Ouster - WSJ

Noem has continued to use the house since Trump ousted her from DHS in early March. She officially left the job after Markwayne Mullin was confirmed as the new secretary

You can’t buy class.

Trump Administration Nearing Rescue Deal for Spirit Airlines - WSJ

“Spirit is a small airline. But there are those who love it. To those dedicated customers of Spirit, this one’s for you,” U.S. District Judge William Young, of the U.S. District Court for the District of Massachusetts

On behalf of a grateful nation, we thank Judge Young for his brilliant reasoning.

Instead of allowing JetBlue to purchase Spirit, now the American taxpayer gets to take on the risk of backstopping this truly awful company that spends more time working on its bankruptcy court filings and negotiating with its long list of creditors than it does flying.

Apple Notes is stealthily powerful.

Trump, the Pope and a New Holy War - WSJ

The American president and his advisers have made limited effort to justify their aggressive military actions, which also meet none of the traditional Catholic just war criteria.

This is a very long article, with uncharacteristically weak editing. The absolute assertion that military action against Iran meet “none” of the criteria is ridiculous on its face. Setting aside 40 years of terrorism on land and the high seas, this is a regime that two months ago murdered 30,000 people in cold blood for the high crime of challenging their political government.

The article got worse, and the argument weakened precipitously, and I reached the end feeling disrespected. Why would the Journal waste my time with such a poor work product?

The Obama Presidential Center in Chicago Is Finally Here. Tickets Will Cost $30. - WSJ

Illinois residents, who helped underwrite some infrastructure costs, will get in free on Tuesdays and receive a $4 discount other days. They must show proof of residency, which conservatives say is hypocritical given Democratic opposition to voter ID requirement.

Trump Warns Iran To Accept His Ultimatum Or Face Wrath Of Next Ultimatum - The Onion

“You may think I’m bluffing, but believe me when I say you will feel the full weight of my social media posts.”

In the garden

What A Moron: Judas Dips Bread In Bowl Right After Jesus Says ‘The One Who Dips The Bread In The Bowl Will Betray Me’ - Babylon Bee

“Dude, seriously?” said the Apostle Andrew.

I see all of these corporate April Fools jokes and I can’t help but think about all of the time that went into coming up with a concept and finishing the design.

We need humor and levity, but humor is best enjoyed when it bubbles up naturally.

This is just a waste of time and effor.

Just a few more days.

There is an inverse correlation between a movie’s rating on Rotten Tomatoes and how good it actually is.

🍿

Venerable Fulton Sheen to be beatified in St. Louis on 24 September - Vatican News

After his heroic virtue was recognized, Fulton Sheen was declared Venerable in 2012 by Pope Benedict XVI. In 2019, Pope Francis authorized a decree recognizing a miracle through his intercession.

Therefore the Lord exhorts us to wait with patient and reverent faith until the end comes… It is not a blessed dissolution that awaits us, nor is nonexistence the fruit, nor annihilation the appointed reward of faith. Instead, the end is the final attainment of the promised blessedness, in which the goal of perfect happiness is reached, with no further goal beyond. For these, “the end” is to abide in the condition of uninterrupted rest toward which they are pressing.

• St. Hilary of Poitiers, On the Trinity

That moment when you’re in a very long confession line with your children and the total legend parochial vicar shows up and opens a second line.

GOAT!

My favorite kind of weather.

⛈️

The Tourist

🍿

Nine days until I can pick my knife again.

Trump Postpones Iran Strikes Until They All Assemble In One Place Again For A Meeting - Babylon Bee

“We are glad to hear Trump is postponing other strikes,” one insider said. “It’s a welcome sign that this may all be over soon. We’re all going to schedule a meeting at Omar’s house to discuss these negotiations with the Americans and see where we go from here.”

Dawn’s early light.

Working remotely on my MacBook Pro.

These speakers are amazing!

Marking the 13th anniversary of Catholic Husband.

1,072 blog posts published.

I just realized I can link files in macOS Finder to specific tasks in Things.app.

So when I’m working on a task, I don’t have to hunt for my work files!

Iran Warns U.S. It Has Huge Stockpile Of Supreme Leaders - Babylon Bee

the regime said on Tuesday that it had secretly spent the last several years working behind the scenes to enrich raw mullahs into weapons-grade supreme leaders.

Grilled pizza.

🍕

Abram went as the LORD directed him.

Genesis 12:4

I don’t know what it is about third-party file storage services, but they always screw up my Mac.

At least in this round I was able to use AI to diagnose and solve the problem. But seriously, these services are over 15 years old, how is this still happening?

People really respond to a bow tie.

How did I make it all these years in Things without using tags?

Reinventing The Dining Experience: This Cafe Modeled Their Payment System After Healthcare Billing So Chefs, Waiters, And Dishwashers Can Invoice You Separately For Completely Random Amounts Weeks To Months Later - Clickhole

Cut to four months later, and you’ll receive another invoice from the line cook for services including cooking chicken (“Protein Thermal Processing Treatment – $6.22”) and chopping lettuce (“Vegetative Component Structural Reduction – $3.34), and so on and so forth, until the restaurant’s wait and kitchen staff have all individually charged you for every distinct action they undertook during your dining experience

Toddler Review: This Book Has A Mind-Blowing Twist That You’ll Never See Coming. It Will Change You Forever. - Babylon Bee

I was instead presented with the manic fear of a familiar character spiraling out of control.

While all the runners in the stadium take part in the race, the award goes to one man. In that case, run so as to win! Athletes deny themselves all sorts of things. They do this to win a crown of leaves that withers, but we a crown that is imperishable.

1 Cor 9:24-25

Unsettling: Your Amazon Package Came Too Fast - Clickhole

Someone worked through the night to make sure you had shampoo at your front door by the break of dawn. Yes, you—you, who definitely could have just gone to the store for it, but instead had everyone running around like this was a rapid-fire organ delivery for a lifesaving transplant.

Furious Trump Imposes 1000% Tariff On Supreme Court - Babylon Bee

“If you want your tariff rate to be zero, you have to let me use tariffs,” Trump reportedly told Chief Justice John Roberts in a heated exchange.

I guess today was the real Liberation Day after all.

Lucy approaches the iMac after practicing her poem. Benedict and Veronica join her.

Did you finish your poem?

Lucy: “Yes.”

What is the title and the author?

Lucy: “The Snail by William Cowper.”

Benedict: “By William Caterpillar.”

He wrote it so long ago, he’s now William Butterfly.

Trump Orders Drone Strike On Venezuelan Olympic Cross-Country Skier - Babylon Bee

“What an explosive finish for Claveau-Laviolette,” she added. “Wow!”

Morning blend.

☕️

Big day.

❤️

I love a good heated steering wheel.

Turning Point USA Announces Alternative Puerto Rico - The Onion

“Finally, Americans will be able to enjoy a family-friendly tropical paradise that actually celebrates traditional values,” said Turning Point CEO Erika Kirk, adding that the island would be known as “Port Rick,” a mistranslation of “Puerto Rico”

Bible Authors Admit They Were Paid $7K For Every Reference To Israel - Babylon Bee

Hey, if the money is available, just take it. I was writing a ton about Israel anyway, for free, so why not make a little extra coin on the side? And people pretend like I’m the one who benefited from the arrangement the most, but I only had one book. You should have seen how much cash Moses came away with from the Pentateuch. ‘Israel this’ and ‘Israel that.’ He was the O.G. moneymaker with that deal.

Fraud Suspicions Arise As Somali Team Wins 734th Gold Medal At Winter Olympics - Babylon Bee

“Their culture just encourages overperformance at traditional Somalian activities… like snowboarding.”

Apple’s “new” version of iWork is such a departure.

Ads and upselling within the app is not something I really expect from them.

Creator Studio doesn’t make sense to pay $130 a year when I only use Pages & Numbers.

Kindergarten daughter requested her picture with the Nex Playground, but insisted that it have its “eyepatch on.”

After Relationship Between Parent And Child Irreparably Broken, Math Homework Is Done - Babylon Bee

According to Jennifer Fromm, her husband and child just finished the 4.5 hour one-on-one ordeal of reducing fractions, a marathon challenge which has now destroyed any hope they might have had of a positive relationship with one another.

Swimming lessons for the kids and I’m poolside wrangling my email.

Tools make it possible.

👨🏻‍💻

Where has the quarter-zip fleece been all my life?

It’s so easy to fall into a rut and forget to challenge the systems you put in place.

My work changed significantly six months ago, and I realized I was still doing things in the order that was optimized for the old work, not the new.

Day one, new plan.

Morning: Create; Afternoon: Administrate.

ChatGPT is better at .htaccess than I ever was.

The best part of the post-walk routine is the deep relaxation feeling when I finally sit down. Like laying down in bed after a really good day.

My brie game is strong.

Journalists Shocked To Be Laid Off From Obsolete Media Outlet That Loses $100 Million Annually - Babylon Bee

At publishing time, the paper’s owner, Jeff Bezos, admitted that he had forgotten that he owned it. “Seems like something I wouldn’t buy,” he said. “Really bad investment.”

Conquering the elements is a huge psychological boost.

It’s a whole different level when you look down and see evidence of yesterday’s work still there.

❄️

I’ve been a stay-at-home dad for 12 years.

It amazes me when I’m out in a public setting, like a doctors office, with my whole crew and the women in that space feel the need to “help” me with my children.

I don’t think I telegraph a lack of confidence or cluelessness about how to shepherd children in public spaces, but the women are always ready to jump in and give it their all.

The most irritating thing is that they default to the tactics that they use, unnaturally loud and rapid speech, directed two grade levels below the child they address. All the while, countering my calm and clear attempts to get the child to do what we need.

I guess they missed the clue that these kids are used to responding to a different type of direction. That clue was when they walked into the room and all of us were seated quietly, reading our books.

Afternoon cold brew and Rosary while watching the snow fall outside.

❄️

Toddler Review: The Slide Is A Stunning Thrill Ride Whose Delights Never Cease - Babylon Bee

Fortunately, the depths of joy found in a slide are such that they can never be fully plumbed. Each ride down is a universe of joy unto itself. The mysteries of the slide are indeed infinite. Did you know you can also climb up the slide?

It worked. ❄️

An evening knot tying project.

Europe Deploys Troops to Greenland in Message to Trump - WSJ

while a 13-person German Army reconnaissance team mobilized for a two-day deployment.

Spare a thought tonight for their families and loved ones who have to manage the separation during this deployment. Both of those missed breakfasts are going to be tough to get through emotionally.

European countries send military forces to Greenland amid Trump acquisition push

Germany deployed a reconnaissance team of 13 personnel, France sent 15 mountain specialists and Sweden, Norway and Britain sent three, two and one officers, respectively

34 whole troops? That kind of show of force is change the thinking in Washington, Beijing, AND Moscow.

Trump To Choose Next Venezuelan President In Inaugural Season Of ‘El Aprendiz’ - Babylon Bee

At publishing time, the networks confirmed that the first episode of El Aprendiz would feature the contestants competing in a challenge to find out which of them could apply the most effective economic pressure to Colombia.

Saturday afternoon scale swap.

Brought back the OG Benchmade blue scales to my first knife, the Bugout, and put the Nebula FatCarbon scales onto the BladeHQ exclusive Bugout that I cared less about.

There’s something exciting about seeing the original knife back in the collection.

‘Conservatives Want Women In Handmaid’s Tale Outfits,’ Declares Liberal Wearing Hijab - Babylon Bee

“They want a culture where young women are stripped of their rights and become totally subjugated to men. Women wouldn’t be allowed to wear anything but their mandated dress, or even leave the house without permission. It’s absolutely disgusting to imagine.”

Democrats Confused Why Venezuelans Cheering Downfall Of Nice, Warm Collectivism - Babylon Bee

“What’s wrong with these people?” asked liberal Stauncey Billups, watching the festivities. “How can they be happy at a time like this, with their dear, sweet collectivism being ripped away? They must not understand how good they’ve had it, being free of rugged individualism. The fools!”

Fresh powder.

❄️